- Punk #1 "ARF!"
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Hi- I'm PUNK! Yup, That's me in the picture above...
"She" doesn't feel like writing today; and so, (like everything else lately), this must fall on my cute little shoulders. I already help her pull her weeds for Snoopy sakes... And I suppose NEXT she'll be wanting me to do the dishes! (I'll just drool and fart- that'll teach her)...
I would much rather be chewing on my bone- or even just being a pest... (I'm REALLY good at that sometimes)- But NO, I have got to do the daily blog here. That's OK, the 'bone' supply is completely unacceptable- (I think "she" is really Old Mother Hubbard in drag)...
This typing thing is silly- and as I only have the 4 toes on my paws it'll take me forever- (Yeah, I've still got the dewclaws, but they are pretty useless- I can't even scratch anything with them- ...except by mistake).
And so, here is one day in the life of a wee little somewhat abused and neglected dog... Me!
"She" said we would go for a ride yesterday- And I always want to go back for the real long ride and to the real BIG water to swim so I get all excited. So wanting to look my best, I try and try to get into the shower with her, but since 'she' is so mean, she will not let me do this today- I don't understand why not either- it was OK two days ago...
Right after that, we went to town- (and NOT for the real long ride)- I was still mad about the shower thing, so I decided right then and there to get her pretty good on that ride... "She" had even given me a little bit of that Dramamine pill so I wouldn't get sick in her new Buick Rendezvous. She says she's sick and tired of scrubbing it out; but I think it smells way better AFTER I barf in it anyway- I don't like the way her 'clean' smells. (It makes my nose drip)...
And so, into Green Bay we went- But not really to the 'Bay' part- she won't let me go into the Bay- She just drives over it and lets me dream about swimming- She's mean like that too...
As we were going up a big street, her little box rang- (I forget what she calls it)- and when she starts talking she always ignores me- so I threw myself on the floor and started squirming; and added a little fart. Hee-Hee-- This got her attention RIGHT AWAY- (Anything like that usually does)... And so, she stopped talking to the box, and kept looking at me...
There were lots of other cars- and BIG noisy things too- I HATE those big things- (they have way too many wheels to run me over with)... And so, I started squirming some more. When I do this, she will pull over- But we were in a place that was all hard stuff- ('concrete' I think she called it)- She turned a corner, and found a nice grassy place- and so I poo'ed. She still thinks this is so cool that I do this; (what a weirdo she is)! But she always says what a good doggie I am for going poo.
We ALL do. Poo. Whoop-pee-doo! No big deal. You would think the sun rose and set with my ability to 'do poo' though... And then she scoops the poo into a bag and takes it along... (Whatdya guess she wants it for anyway)???
She had to stop at a gas station- and she makes me wait in the car. This really makes me mad cuz I can't even hardly see her then. (Now, back at home, the little girl went away; and I just KNOW that "SHE" will go away too- then what will I do)? I'll be all alone that's what. "She" has told me that it is called 'separation anxiety' and that it will pass... (Yeah, like doo-doo)? I don't know about that... (But I know that 'she' knows all about 'anxiety' -so it must be true)...
Anyway, I looked around at this gas place and could see all the little cars, (and the really big things) driving past -really fast and really loud. It scared me, so by the time she got back in, I was back on the floor once more. It's just so loud and stinky in town. (And way too many wheels)... But get this, she even gave the gas station my poo! I guess that's what those big round grey things eat.
By the time she turned the car on, I got back in my seat, and since I had no more poo, I turned on the drool... Now this also fetches her attention. Even though I know it does nothing to keep me cute... But she has these towels she takes along; even though I have my very own mat that the little one bought for me. (And if I didn't have this special mat, I would be slip-sliding off those darned leather seats every time she stopped or even turned a corner)!
But back to my precious drool... Oh, she gets plenty upset when I have that clear slimy stuff just hanging down from both my cheeks... hee-hee... (arf!)... She says something about "Beethoven" and just keeps driving, trying to not pay any attention to ME- and then I lay my head down and just look up at her, and she gets even more upset.
She wipes my mouth. That ticks me off too- hard to keep making more of that stuff... But I can- and DO!
She has to go to a few places and I always go hide on the floor then. And GET THIS, at one place I KNOW they gave her a treat for me, but she hid it in her pocket- (like I didn't KNOW )??? See how mean she is???
But FINALLY, it is time to go home! Since she won't give me my treat, (I cannot be letting her think this is alright), I drool -LOTS and LOTS, (I'm on a roll now); and I yawn too- (Adding the yawn absolutely makes her ill because of how it accentuates the drool). So I throw a few more yawns in just to make her go faster. (I love it when she goes real fast)!
Just as we get home, I lean over into herself, and I rub my mouth and my face all over her brand new jacket... She looks real pitiful, and says something that I think has to do with doo-doo and poo-poo- (She'll think twice before she tries to ignore me about the shower and as we drive now)! Then she gives me my treat and lets me stay outside with my mama for a little while longer than usual too.
AND THEN... THE LITTLE ONE THAT WENT AWAY CAME OVER TO SEE ME! I was SO happy! ...It's been kinda weird around here without her, and it's been weird anyway- Everyone that comes is kinda sad, so I start to do funny things and I think it helps too! Even my mama outside in her house has been sorta quiet for a while, but it's all getting better... And then the little one even took me for a little drive- Now, I don't never drool on her because I am so happy, and she doesn't ever ignore me... Then we came back home...
The little one left me again, and the big one was kinda sick later- Been that way all night and today too... Now I kinda feel bad for her because I don't think she means to be getting my attention with her own drooling! Poor thing. And I guess maybe she really has been good to me too- taking me in to see Dr. Spires to get those itchy stitches off my belly, and to get me all ready with the Heartguard and the Frontline- I'm good til next year!
So I will just go lay down by her now and see how she is- maybe the little one will come back and help her feel better... She'll take her for a ride and when they come back, 'she' is kinda funny -and then she goes to sleep for a long time. (I'd better not eat too much in case I don't get let outside later)...
"ARF" to all; (that's like 'aloha' the way us dogs use it )...
With Love, from PUNK
