NOTES FROM THE EDGE OF LIFE

From my email...

Fully guaranteed to make someone mad. hehehe
Thank you Duane!

XOXO
Me

 *     *     *
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

 

***

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

* * *
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain...no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

* * *
Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

* * *
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

* * *
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

* * *
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

* * *
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

* * *
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

* * *
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

*     *     *
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b!tch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

*     *     *
Dear  America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

*     *     *
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

*     *     *
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

*     *     *
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
 Logic

*     *     *

Hope everyone is smiling!
... and if not, please get over yourself.