"St00pid" IS 'Phunny'! ...er, Ain't It?

 

Hi ALL;
Late today, and am cheating by using an email that I have seen before (and laughed at too)!

These are reportedly real absentee excuses sent to the schools and apparently written by the parents.

I am unsure if there are a few screws loose, or if there is an obvious problem with alcohol, drugs, (or DNA).

Hmmm. I am also thinking that somebodys kids really are getting left behind...

.

1.
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today.
Please execute him.

2.
Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3.
Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4.
Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5.
Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10.
Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11.
Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12.
Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14.
Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16.
Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17.
Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20.
Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22.
Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23.
Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

.

Say it isn't so...   

Love to all.

XOXO
Anne

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Originally posted on my Yahoo 360, Thursday February 21, 2008 - 01:21pm (CST)

Churlish and Unpleasant...

Churlish and Unpleasant...

The title describes me today...

(You HAVE been warned).

Good Morning All;
As you well know, I rarely get political. I neither consider myself Republican nor Democrat. (Does that mean I am not a "party person")?!? hehehe

But I do have a few words to say today since it is Wisconsins Primary.

#1.
I would re-elect Bill Clinton 100 times before I would ever vote for Hilary. Something about that broad just rubs this broad the wrong way...

(Special NOTE to readers: There is no Number TWO).

I believe that the BEST candidate for the job will be the one that will:

~Make (and keep) our borders safe. Land, sea, and air.
(Bring the troops home in a timely fashion and have them protect US).
Let other countries kill themselves. May the best one win.
(Redneck? You betcha)!

~Feed and treat our own children before sending ANY of our homegrown food or medications overseas.
(Hello WASHINGTON, our American children are starving and sick, what the hell are you doing in Africa)?

~Ensure that ALL medical care goes ONLY to AMERICAN CITIZENS, and that others (including legal, but alien, college students) pay their own way as our forefathers did.
(Are you still in Africa for cryin' out loud)?

~Ensure that any/all ILLEGALS BE SENT BACK.
(Buses and boats, baby; nothing cushy)...

~Any alien committing a felony gets sent back immediately.
No trial. No questions asked. Immediate deportation.
(Behave or be gone).

~Ensure that FEMA helps, but does NOT give permanent free rides to anyone for any reason.
(Nuff said).

~Screw all imports.
(We don't need them. See above. Put those people to work).

~Pay our educators exactly what they are worth. And make them prove their value first.
(Sorry GW, there are WAY too many children left behind already)...

~Did I forget to mention with a deep sense of GREEN?

If anyone knows who fills this bill, kindly let me know.
You have a couple of hours while I go out and plow the damned snow. (Or "nosw")...

.

So yes, "HAVE IT YOUR WAY."
hehehe

Just get out there and VOTE!

Exercise your right to vote,
your civil duty;
OR,
Forfeit your right to whine about it...

.

It is currently 1 teeny tiny little degree below zero.
I am not sure about the windchill; nor do I want to know.
My snowbanks are so HUGE already... Don't know where it will all go if we don't get a few melting days soon.

Hmm...
Yes, I went to the eye doctor yesterday.
I didn't get good news... but I didn't necessarily get really 'bad' news either.
I did however, get a biotch of a migraine...
I will fill you all in later on all of that.

I'd better get my butt in gear.
First, the dishes... To warm me up good before I go outside.

Have a great day!

Love to all

XOXO
Anne

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Originally posted on my Yahoo 360 Tuesday February 19, 2008 - 06:57am (CST)