Good Evening...
While my taters are cooking themselves I just want to clue y'all in on the latest stuff.
God, I have been such a bitch lately that I don't even like myself.
It helped immensely that Richard went back to Waukesha too. (I wanted him to be gone)... How bad is that???
He helped a lot around here, and yet too much was going on for me to even be nice half the time.
Funny that I believe he had his chance years ago, and blew it.
He has left me high and dry twice in his lifetime.
I believe I think about those times too much.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
What comes after "twice" anyway?
Yes, I do love him.
But I am definitely not IN love with him.
And yes, that DOES make sense.
I received an email from Jenne yesterday- Have not spoken to, nor heard from her since they had come to visit 2 weeks ago.
Here it is:
J: How goes it?
~~~~~~~
fine. How goes it with you?
~~~~~~~
J: broken
~~~~~~~
why?
~~~~~~~
J: long story short, I'm getting divorced. I've been married for less than 2 years. I've failed.
~~~~~~~
That's too short. Yup WAY too short.
I want the long version please.
Why are you getting divorced?
Where's the 'we can work it out' ethic involved with a marriage?
What does Aaron say?
wtf?
Why aren't you at work?
Too hot for ya?
Where is Isaiah?
Almost everything can be worked out you know.
(Save for beating and cheating).
And there are those that 'claim' cheating makes their marriage better. That gives me a bad taste ya know...
So... maybe if you quit beating on him he will stop cheating on you?
XOXO
Me
~~~~~~~
I am at work
Just a lull.
We've tried to work it out. (counseling and sh*t) the counselor said she couldn't help us.
He's cheated on me twice. I wish I'd beaten him.
Aaron says he loves me and Isaiah; an he's a "changed man".
too friggin hot here.
Isaiah is at daycare
Love you too.
-J
~~~~~~~ END...
She has called me today too.
I had to cut the above IM short because Casey had a doctor appointment yesterday afternoon.
(All is well).
I asked her had she told z that she had come out to visit while she was in town.
She replied no, that she didn't want to hurt her.
Ummm... WHAT?!??
No, I didn't say that aloud.
But anyway, since I do not beat around the bush, (after hearing almost everything that Aaron had done wrong since before Day One of their marriage), I asked her if she had also cheated.
The answer,
...after a very long pause,
...'yes.'
In the conversation she wanted to come home, (ie: Green Bay).
Then later, she wanted to make her marriage work.
We have not yet broached our own continental divide.
Think she needed someone to talk to first.
But she did ask me if I wanted to be her mom again.
(I told her I had always been her mom).
She also told me that her 'sire' had tried to kill himself a couple of weeks ago.
He missed.
(And I know how cliche that is, but she swears it's true).
I told her if he wanted to be dead that he would be.
I also told her that he was the very 1st person I had ever taunted too.
When I told him I was leaving with the girls, and filing for divorce he had told me he would kill himself.
I told him, "Go ahead. If you don't give a damn about your life then neither do I."
Not sure if 'taunted' is the correct word for it, (but he is still alive).
In truth I also told her that his own demons are catching up to him.
Finally.
She said she realizes that all.
And yes, she knows about all of his lies.
(Not too sure if this is the right time to be forwarding the police reports)?
No.
For that is what TTII will receive upon my death.
Cold?
You betcha.
Was I cold to her?
No.
Not 2 weeks ago, and not today either.
But I will not/cannot condone any of the bad stuff either.
NOR will I permit her to come back home and live with me.
Gods sakes almighty, Casey is moving out on the 23rd; why would I want to have anyone else move in???
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Yet it is very hard to overlook anything too.
These two children have hurt me so very deeply-
Kind of a forever 'hurt' too.
And they both know better.
They were both raised better, and lived better, than that, too.
I wonder what will happen next?
Hmm...
Any words to the unwise here?
I added a few pics, from when Miss Valerie was here the other night, in my 'PRIVATE' album.
(God bless Katie and Sam for allowing her to see me).
Love to you all, and thank you for allowing me to unload.
Hopefully the 'privacy options' on here actually work.
I'm just so effin' damned confused when I wonder what's next?
My apologies
XOXO
Anne
