[My] Life in Wisconsin

Bug Spray- Funny

Rating:★★★★
Category:Other

Don't sell to farmers...

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.

"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious.
"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case we will make you rich.

The salesman was delighted.
They went to the field and the salesman stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake.
Back to the house went the farmer.

The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield...

Sure enough,the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"

The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "Doesn't that calf have a mother?"
***
hehehe

XOXO
Me


Old Bikes; and Worn Out Boots

From my email this morning.
(Thank you Duane)  

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Their old bikes, worn out boots, leathers, old jeans and leathered faces,~ tells us all they have ridden far and seen many places.
   
You see them riding in small packs but many times alone,~ the loner is the one that knows the ropes and brotherhood to the bone.
   
The gray in their hair and the white in their beard,~ tells you right off they have been there and done that, nothing ever feared.
   
They have been there and done that and still very much alive,~ so give them respect and to be their friend you must strive.
   
They take care of their friends and always their own,~ they can teach you things about life and REAL you have never known.
   
They are quiet and at the bars mostly sit alone,~ because their old brothers and lifestyle are almost gone.
   
Like old brothers their lady's are loyal real and to them totally bound,~ if they were not they sure as hell wouldn't be around.
   
Many are vets from a place call Vietnam,~ where they fought a meaningless war for you and Uncle Sam.
   
Like the dinosaurs of old the old bikers will go down,~ and when the last one falls only those that know will hear the sound.
   
To all you young rider wannabes and prospects I give this toast,~ ride on brother for beside you rides an "Old Bikers" Ghost.
   
We ride down life's lonesome highway and just around the bend,~ stands the golden gates to glory right at it's end.
   
At these gates a hooded cloaked brother stands as their keeper,~ he's the last brother you meet "THE GRIM REAPER".
   
He waves you through his scythe held high,~ "welcome brother your lifestyle here will never die".
   
So to all you preppy wannabe's prospects and all that ride,~ find you an "Old Biker" and from him learn -by his teachings abide.
   
Some day down life's highway as you ride an "Old Biker" riding all alone,~ a cold breeze will hit you and chill you to the bone.
  
Glance over brother you may see me after I'm gone riding there,~ your guardian angel "Old Biker" grinning with the wind in my hair.
 
The "Old Biker" that taught you the real way,~ will ride beside you till your last day.

Ride on brothers the gates to glory are just ahead, ~ all your brothers are here and your style's not dead
.

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Have a grand weekend my friends!

XOXO
Me