~looking into my eyes, from my own eyes.
Good Afternoon;
I know NOT how anyone can ride a roller-coaster. And especially this one...
I have accomplished zero today.
Almost as soon as I thought to become productive, the flashing lights began.
My throat is almost closed, but pouring out its slime- The stuff that makes and keeps one nauseated.
A hard way to spend a day, let alone an hour, of my life.
The homeplace looks absolutely abandoned. As I told Kristin earlier, I cringe to even look out my windows anymore. It is THAT bad.
I fell asleep much earlier- better that way, (for everyone). hehehe
Casey called a few hours ago. Herself being ever~so ill from those damned iron infusions.
Seems as though she feels worse and worse each and every week.
These infusions play havoc with her already severely compromised insides; and it kills me even to hear that little voice sounding so weak and sickly on the phone.
Truth be known, it ANGERS me to no degree that I have ever felt anger before!
This young lady has been through so very much- And they just keep dumping more and more and more and more ON her!
It is NOT fair.
It is unjust.
It is unreasonable.
That it is unjustified makes it even worse somehow.
JFK said it best: "There is always inequality in life. Some men are killed in a war and some men are wounded and some men never leave the country. Life is unfair."
Hating the word "idiopathic" from the very first time they stamped her diagnosis with it.
It is still wrong. (And don't even bother to get me started on that word)!
Am thinking maybe if I get outside, even in this humidity; and maybe if the rains hold off long enough, I can still be a decent landowner and make this all 'look' a bit better.
F*ck it. I am heading outside
"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead." (It is the nicest thing I can say right now).
Have a good one.
My love to all.
XOXO
me
