ARF!
(And we ALL know what THAT means)...
Ima gonna do this today cuz my 'she' doesn't want to.
"She" doesn't sleep like me, so I'll do it. (But just fer today).
My life has been just awful, i tell you.
Just AWFUL!!!
Last week, that damn cat got sick(er). He is always sneezing, tho at least "she" has tried to teach him to get off the softer things when he does. H-A-rf, H-A-rf, this makes me sure that "I" get to sit by her when it happens!
Well, cep'tin' when "she" iz on the wheelie~thingie.
Now THAT thing is a downright sorry device. It even ran over my TAIL once!
('Course I might've had my tail where it din't b'long).
But STILL...
Ennyway, I really wuz talkin' 'bout Sput.
This, is him. ↓
One Sicko Cat.
I know!!! I should call him "SPIT"! H-A-rf. H-A-rf, H-A-rf!!!
Last week, he sneezed this drippy booger, a real grody red color too.
Unbeknownst to myself, my "she" called my doctor.
(I musta been sleeping or napping).
But didja read that line? He is MY DOCTOR!!!
I din't know bout this at all-
So when we ALL went for a ride, I had to share my little one's back seat with da damn cat!
He behaved for a while, then whent and sat on my Little One's lap!!! (And "she" had that round thing in her hands).
I kin't sit on her lap when "she" has the round thing in her hands when I'm in her car, so WHY kin he?!?
(Heck, I kin barely even EVER sit on her lap) .
So unfair that it's downright AWFUL! JUST AWFUL!!!
Huh? WHY?
Ennyway, off we go down the road.
We get to a stop and my Little One turns that one WRONG way!
How COULD she???
Cuz this way kin mean only one thing...
... that I'm bout to have this perv 'doctor' stick his finner up my butt. (And then he rubs it around too). Says he's checking my 'glands' er soumpthin' , and sez they should be no bigger than a walnut, (whatever THAT means)!
So I slinker on down in the backseat.
Maybe they'll forget I'm there.
Soon, we get to my doctors office. I stand up cuz I know they will only find me and make me go inside.
THEN!, THEY LEAVE ME IN THE CAR!!! (ALONE)!
Whaa-Da?!??
You see wat I mean 'bout things being just AWFUL?!?
JUST AWFUL!!!
I gotta share everything-
- And now I gotta share this Doc Spires' too!
So I'm left in the car, alone, to sit and think-
I figgur that the damn cat gets to see MY doctor...
Grrr.....
This is SO unfair! Cuz, I thought he liked only me, me, ME!
Now, I might not care to be stuck by this doc, but surely he kin't stick his finner in Sput's bum too!!?
(I mean I have SEEN dat bum-hole when I'm sniffin' it, and it's really really little)!
But NOoooo...
He seems to like the damn cat too.
What'z up with dat?
An THEN when the 'Sput-Spit' comes back to the car ride, he tells me nobody stuck their finners where they din't b'long.
S'much as I HATE THAT DAMN CAT (sometimes/most~times), an I woulda laughed at HIM bein' stuck fer once, I din't want to see him cryin' either.
(Gawd knows dat the sneezin' iz bad 'nuff).
He got some little stinky pills, some gunk for his mouth, and some MORE gunk to put in his eyes.
ICK!
This scares me cuz I 'member when I had to have stuff for MY eye. (Ya remember, don'tcha)? That was after I got that big ole stick STUCK IN MY EYE. CLICK HERE for that story.
An THAT's when I started not likin' this Doc Spires-
He put a pin in me that day an it made me feel funny.
THEN another pin, somethin' else happened, and I had tipped over and had an 'operashun".
It was bad, an when I waked up, it hurt LOTS and LOTS!
So now 'Spitty' -harf harf- hasta get somethin' in his eyes. BOTH of them!
GROSS!!!! I don't look when my "she" puts it in either.
Will this insanity ever end?
- (If you guessed 'NO', den you're right).
The other day, my Little One, an her Greg-man came over.
They had a big ole BOX-FULL of stuff, but I couldn't go near it. (An there was somethin' there that smelt really good).
Oh, ALL dese smells!
(Makes me wonder why I sniff the cat anywhere, anytime)?
Ya see, "she" had been makin' food in the big square thing in the wall, an it always smells SO yummy when "she" does this.
"She" doesn't do it near nuff either.
Not anymore. "she" sez it hurts.
(But "she" useta do it all the time).
Unfair. And awful. JUST AWFUL!!!
But, I'm smart too-
I figgered that it must be what they call a 'Special' day.
When my Little One and her Greg-man came, my Little One was kinda sick again. I try to make her feel better, so I give her kisses with my big ol' sloppy tongue.
My Little One sez my kisses are magic!
My Little One likes my kisses- But my "she" sez I kin only kiss her hands.
AWFUL I tell you- JUST AWFUL!!!
(Who knows where my "she's" hands have been)?!?
So we ate- (I got to eat too, but really late I might add).
Those skin-things with da real buttery corn flakes all over them were really crispy this time, and REALLY YUMMY too! (Tho' I always gotta fight with my Little One to get any).
AWFUL!
After I finally got some food in me, my peoples started digging in boxes and stuff and giving away other boxes.
Everyone had some, EVEN ME!
But I couldn't get to mine 'cuz they wuz wrapped in this bright stuff.
"She" helped me wit' one, and my Little One helped me with the rest of 'em.
They wuz ALL treats! And were ALL for me!
The room wuz a mess after all that stuff was all over the place.
(I kept my eye on MY presents)!
Now, sometimes I get presents when my "she" goes into a store without me; and sometimes my Little One will bring some with her when she comes over.
But not like THIS DAY!
I got a toys, a new Frisbee;
and 3 bags of treats. ONLY fer ME!
Whee!
Sputty didn't get nuthin'! (Not that I cared, but isn't THAT awful)?
AWFUL! I tell you; JUST AWFUL!!!
See, sometimes Sput is mean, mean, MEAN to me.
I will take a nice nap and he [STILL] wakes me up by stickin' his claw(s) right into my nose.
Right INTO the nice delicate skin of MY NOSE!
Now THAT hurts really bad!
I wake up right away too.
I "ky-yike" at him right away, and he either ducks down, or runs away.
If he runs away, I chase him. (And sometimes I get in trouble too cuz "she" is sleepin')
AWFUL! I tell you, Just AWFUL!!!
"She" has some big paper bags, full, by the warm square box in the wall -and sez she hasta make some treats and some cookies.
*** By the way, I really LIKE cookies; they are kinda like TREATS, (but I don't get near enough either)! Mostly just some crumbs, and that's awful too.
AWFUL! You hear me? JUST AWFUL!
Awfuller, is when "she" naps, then doesn't wake up when it's time for my food!!!
Mostly I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more...
Just sometimes it gets too hard for me to wait anymore, so I just put my face by hers on that nice soft pillow.
I don't know why, but she always wakes up and sez "Pee-Oooh" in a funny voice.
I don't know what it means so I got sit by the door.
(First, I give her a big sloppy kiss, THEN I go sit by the door). H-A-rf, H-A-rf. H-A-rf.
But then I always get my food, so I guess it's a good thing.
Oh, and I always get part of a banana too. It's YUMMY, and 'she' hides my own allergy pills in a little piece of it. If I drop one, 'she' won't give me another bite of the banana until I pick it up and swallow it, so I try not to drop them...
But 'she' feeds me good food too- all meat!, and my vitamins. Every now and then when my back or my shoulder hurt then she gives me something that makes me feel better too.
I will hafta ask my 'she' to post the list again what is good for us dogs, and what isn't. Sometimes you peoples forget, and I don't want any of my friends to be sick, or die.
I'd better stop typing and go bug her to get some lunch and then take me outside. (I don't get a lunch, but I get to lick her plate)!
The sun is shiny today, but it is very, very, cold on my paws.
Still, I wanna have some fun.
She will throw my new Frisbee thing, or my ball- but just for a little while.
We were outside earlier, and she hollered at me cuz I went to close to the road when she brought those big dumpsters down the driveway.
Don't know what her matter is- She useta take them both at one time, and now, she only took one, then she rested, (and put me in the house)!-
AWFUL 'she is; JUST AWFUL!
Then, she takes the other one out by the road without me.
An it took her a LONG time to come back inside too.
Then she got in the waterfall- (and she stayed THERE a really long time too). When she was done, I was waiting for her to throw my ball up the steps, playin', but she said 'no'.
Isn't that AWFUL?? I tell ya, it's JUST AWFUL!!!
Sheesh. I really don't ask for that much.
('Sides, if I do, I do know how to BEG, and make her feel bad). H-A-rf, H-A-rf, H-A-rf.
I hope everyone, and their puppies, got some nice treats on that "Special" day.
And I hope we have another "Special" day soon!
May you always have a bowlful of fresh water, and may you always get your breakfast and supper. ( & on time). May you appreciate YOUR treats as much as I do mine.
Yup. I don't get them enough.
And that is awful. JUST AWFUL.
ARF!
Love,
Punk
