ARF! Punk to the ResQ!

"Kris" -An my "She"

Totally sexy!

ARF!
(An we ALL know what THAT means)!

A really  L~O~N~G  time ago now, me and 'she' went to this place called 'the lake'.
Maybe it just feels like a really L~O~N~G time...

"She" tole me I hadda behave, or 'she' would bring me right back home.

We drove -almost like my little one was sick- (Well, that same road ennyway).

But then she turned off really early-

And then we went on all these corners.

Then we got lost!  I din't care how drippy my tongue was either- I could smell the water- An it was all around us!

"She" leaves me in the car while 'she' goes to ask directions. 

(An that's how I know my 'she' is a "she"). Arf!

Finally we get to a house, an I met these 2 ladies.

They are really COOL! (Cute too).

The lady on the left is called "Judy"- 

The one on the right is called "Kris"- 

Or, as my 'she' calls her, "SissyKrissiePoo".

Oh! An I could just SEE the water! 

I was SO happy, an almost ready to jump in, when I was called back to the house. 

What?!?! 

"Oh no!" was all I could think...

But it was for...

For FOOD!!! 

So then I knew right off that this was gonna be the very best day EVER!!! An I was gonna be real happy here!

* My 'she' says that I had better love it there cuz if'n ennything ever happens to her I will get to go live with Kris n Judy.

At lunch, that lady "Judy" was the very nicest, cuz she left a whole bunch on her plate fer me to 'clean off'!

After that I got to eat some bites of wieners, potato salad, some chips, and all else...

My she gets on some differnt clothes, an we all get to go outside...

...And INto the lake!

"She" was a little scared, so me an the Kris lady went swimmin'-

My 'she' had tole me that no one ever drowns around her sister cuz Kris is a "Life Guard" (I thought maybe that was gonna be "my" job). 

We even had a race across the lake!



OK. That's not true.
We was just chasing my ball.   

But then, my Kris went an fell down- and underwater.

I had to drop my ball to go fetch the girl!

She held on tight after that, an I brought her to the dock. 

Somehow, she managed to get my ball away from me.

She tried to hide it under the water too, but I could still see it!

Then she threw it way far out, and we went racing to go fetch it all over again.

An ya know what happened?!?!

Yup, my Kris lady fell backwards again, an I hadda bring her back in! 

This was fun- (even after the 50th time)!

I dunno what "Life Guard" means, but I think it must mean that the people fall backwards and almost drown (a lot); an that I gotta guard her life.

I unnerstand why my she decided I would go to Kris n Judy's It's cuz they NEED my help!

Too soon it was time to take a break... 

(So said the drowning lady ennyway). 

But I didn't wanna get out of the water.

"No way. No how!!!"

I did get out for about 10 seconds, then I went right back in again.

Oops.

My Kris had to go get a bag to pick up...

 sumpthin'...

Sheesh-

It was just too nice "in" the lake to get back out and do poo~poo, ya know.

My 'she' hollered at me, but my Kris thought it was funny! 

And get this- Neither of 'em had ever even heard of a dog doing it's "thing" in the lake!
I thought it looked just like a Baby Ruth bar.

Of course then we hadda swim some more- 

My Kris found these.

They are called Zebra Mussels (click), -an they poke holes in your feet so the humans hadda wear shoes!

Mr. Bill came out to play

I wasn't even afraid of him; (though he looked funny to me on that thing).

Between you, me and ennyone who reads this, I wanted to go for a ride too!

But i was havin' too much fun when he came back that I forgot to ask.

I don't think ennyone should ride that thing when something like this goes by.

They were w-a-a-a-a-y cute- 

And they swam by a few times too!

Soon we got out of the lake for real.

It had been about 4 hours, or more, that we swam and played- My she said it was gettin' on time to get home.

My Kris wiped me off real good. 

An then I...

Well I...

I din't do it.

(Really I din't).

I was just layin' there as the lady next door came an pulled out my Kris' flower things.

I mean LOOK WHAT SHE DID!!!


She just smushed them all.

They thought I did it.

But it wasn't me.


Cuz I went and laid on the bricks, ya see?

"Someone" took this picture- 

I don't know how, or when even-

But THAT'S NOT ME! 

(Musta been some other dog, cuz I wouldn't do such a thing)!


See this one...


THIS one IS ME!

See, I am bein' good an only rollin' on the bricks!

I still say that lady, Donna, did all the damage.

Now my she said she was going to have to send some seeds to my Kris n Judy.

We went home- almost right after a squirrel ran right by my 'she'on the porch steps!

Did my she get up and chase it?
"No!" (An that's just pure stupid if ya ask me).

We drive all the way home- An no, I didn't go to sleep once.

When we get home, we see this!


UH~OH

Yup, that surely looks like part of my Sputty! "Neener~neener" 

Sputnik got hisself stuck in th' mousetrap!"

He musta made a bad sound when THAT happened- I was glad I was gone when it did.

But when we go into th' rooms, we see this...


An there ain't nuthin' wrong with him!!!

No one kin figure out what the heck got stuck in th' trap.

(But I already tole ya how stupid "she" is).

I gotta go.
I s'pose my she wants to use this. 

S'Been stormy out, and real hot too.

Wish we were back at th' lake! 

Maybe soon? 

I'll be good. 

I always am! (And sides, it's been a really L~O~N~G time since we been there).

May your 'he's' and 'she's' always be ready with a lotta love fer ya!
And may your bowls always be full!  

Love, Punk

Awful. JUST AWFUL!!!

ARF!
(And we ALL know what THAT means)...





Ima gonna do this today cuz my 'she' doesn't want to.
"She" doesn't sleep like me, so I'll do it. (But just fer today).

My life has been just awful, i tell you.  
Just AWFUL!!!

Last week, that damn cat got sick(er). He is always sneezing, tho at least "she" has tried to teach him to get off the softer things when he does. H-A-rf, H-A-rf, this makes me sure that "I" get to sit by her when it happens!
Well, cep'tin' when "she" iz on the wheelie~thingie.
Now THAT thing is a downright sorry device. It even ran over my TAIL once!
('Course I might've had my tail where it din't b'long).
But STILL...

Ennyway, I really wuz talkin' 'bout Sput.
This, is him. ↓


One Sicko Cat.
I know!!! I should call him "SPIT"! H-A-rf. H-A-rf, H-A-rf!!!

Last week, he sneezed this drippy booger, a real grody red color too.
Unbeknownst to myself, my "she" called my doctor.
(I musta been sleeping or napping).
But didja read that line? He is MY DOCTOR!!!

I din't know bout this at all-
So when we ALL went for a ride, I had to share my little one's back seat with da damn cat!
He behaved for a while, then whent and sat on my Little One's lap!!! (And "she" had that round thing in her hands).
I kin't sit on her lap when "she" has the round thing in her hands when I'm in her car, so WHY kin he?!?
(Heck, I kin barely even EVER sit on her lap) .
So unfair that it's downright AWFUL! JUST AWFUL!!!
Huh? WHY?

Ennyway, off we go down the road.
We get to a stop and my Little One turns that one WRONG way!
How COULD she???

Cuz this way kin mean only one thing...
 ... that I'm bout to have this perv 'doctor' stick his finner up my butt. (And then he rubs it around too). Says he's checking my 'glands' er soumpthin' , and sez they should be no bigger than a walnut, (whatever THAT means)!

So I slinker on down in the backseat.
Maybe they'll forget I'm there.

Soon, we get to my doctors office. I stand up cuz I know they will only find me and make me go inside.
 
THEN!, THEY LEAVE ME IN THE CAR!!! (ALONE)!
Whaa-Da?!??

You see wat I mean 'bout things being just AWFUL?!?
JUST AWFUL!!!

I gotta share everything-
- And now I gotta share this Doc Spires' too!

So I'm left in the car, alone, to sit and think-
I figgur that the damn cat gets to see MY doctor...
Grrr.....
This is SO unfair! Cuz, I thought he liked only me, me, ME!
Now, I might not care to be stuck by this doc, but surely he kin't stick his finner in Sput's bum too!!?
(I mean I have SEEN dat bum-hole when I'm sniffin' it, and it's really really little)!
But NOoooo...
He seems to like the damn cat too.
What'z up with dat?

An THEN when the 'Sput-Spit' comes back to the car ride, he tells me nobody stuck their finners where they din't b'long.

S'much as I HATE THAT DAMN CAT (sometimes/most~times), an I woulda laughed at HIM bein' stuck fer once, I din't want to see him cryin' either.
(Gawd knows dat the sneezin' iz bad 'nuff).

He got some little stinky pills, some gunk for his mouth, and some MORE gunk to put in his eyes.
ICK!
This scares me cuz I 'member when I had to have stuff for MY eye. (Ya remember, don'tcha)? That was after I got that big ole stick STUCK IN MY EYE. CLICK HERE for that story.
An THAT's when I started not likin' this Doc Spires-
He put a pin in me that day an it made me feel funny.
THEN another pin, somethin' else happened, and I had tipped over and had an 'operashun".
It was bad, an when I waked up, it hurt LOTS and LOTS!
So now 'Spitty' -harf harf- hasta get somethin' in his eyes. BOTH of them!
GROSS!!!! I don't look when my "she" puts it in either.

Will this insanity ever end? 

• (If you guessed 'NO', den you're right).

The other day, my Little One, an her Greg-man came over.
They had a big ole BOX-FULL of stuff, but I couldn't go near it. (An there was somethin' there that smelt really good).

Oh, ALL dese smells!
(Makes me wonder why I sniff the cat anywhere, anytime)?
Ya see, "she" had been makin' food in the big square thing in the wall, an it always smells SO yummy when "she" does this.
"She" doesn't do it near nuff either.
Not anymore. "she" sez it hurts.
(But "she" useta do it all the time).
Unfair. And awful. JUST AWFUL!!!

But, I'm smart too-
I figgered that it must be what they call a 'Special' day.

When my Little One and her Greg-man came, my Little One was kinda sick again. I try to make her feel better, so I give her kisses with my big ol' sloppy tongue.
My Little One sez my kisses are magic!
My Little One likes my kisses- But my "she" sez I kin only kiss her hands.
AWFUL I tell you- JUST AWFUL!!!
(Who knows where my "she's" hands have been)?!?

So we ate- (I got to eat too, but really late I might add).
Those skin-things with da real buttery corn flakes all over them were really crispy this time, and REALLY YUMMY too! (Tho' I always gotta fight with my Little One to get any).
AWFUL!

After I finally got some food in me, my peoples started digging in boxes and stuff and giving away other boxes.
Everyone had some, EVEN ME!

But I couldn't get to mine 'cuz they wuz wrapped in this bright stuff.

"She" helped me wit' one, and my Little One helped me with the rest of 'em.
They wuz ALL treats! And were ALL for me!
The room wuz a mess after all that stuff was all over the place.
(I kept my eye on MY presents)!

Now, sometimes I get presents when my "she" goes into a store without me; and sometimes my Little One will bring some with her when she comes over.
But not like THIS DAY!
I got a toys, a new Frisbee;
 and 3 bags of treats. ONLY fer ME!
Whee!

Sputty didn't get nuthin'! (Not that I cared, but isn't THAT awful)?
AWFUL! I tell you; JUST AWFUL!!!

See, sometimes Sput is mean, mean, MEAN to me.
I will take a nice nap and he [STILL] wakes me up by stickin' his claw(s) right into my nose.
Right INTO the nice delicate skin of MY NOSE!
Now THAT hurts really bad!
I wake up right away too.
I "ky-yike" at him right away, and he either ducks down, or runs away.
If he runs away, I chase him. (And sometimes I get in trouble too cuz "she" is sleepin')

AWFUL! I tell you, Just AWFUL!!!

"She" has some big paper bags, full, by the warm square box in the wall -and sez she hasta make some treats and some cookies.

*** By the way, I really LIKE cookies; they are kinda like TREATS, (but I don't get near enough either)! Mostly just some crumbs, and that's awful too.

AWFUL! You hear me? JUST AWFUL!

Awfuller, is when "she" naps, then doesn't wake up when it's time for my food!!!
Mostly I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more...
Just sometimes it gets too hard for me to wait anymore, so I just put my face by hers on that nice soft pillow.
I don't know why, but she always wakes up and sez "Pee-Oooh" in a funny voice.
I don't know what it means so I got sit by the door. 
(First, I give her a big sloppy kiss, THEN I go sit by the door). H-A-rf, H-A-rf. H-A-rf.

But then I always get my food, so I guess it's a good thing.
Oh, and I always get part of a banana too. It's YUMMY, and 'she' hides my own allergy pills in a little piece of it. If I drop one, 'she' won't give me another bite of the banana until I pick it up and swallow it, so I try not to drop them...
But 'she' feeds me good food too- all meat!, and my vitamins. Every now and then when my back or my shoulder hurt then she gives me something that makes me feel better too.

I will hafta ask my 'she' to post the list again what is good for us dogs, and what isn't. Sometimes you peoples forget, and I don't want any of my friends to be sick, or die.

I'd better stop typing and go bug her to get some lunch and then take me outside. (I don't get a lunch, but I get to lick her plate)!
The sun is shiny today, but it is very, very, cold on my paws.
Still, I wanna have some fun.
She will throw my new Frisbee thing, or my ball- but just for a little while.

We were outside earlier, and she hollered at me cuz I went to close to the road when she brought those big dumpsters down the driveway.
Don't know what her matter is- She useta take them both at one time, and now, she only took one, then she rested, (and put me in the house)!-
AWFUL 'she is; JUST AWFUL!

Then, she takes the other one out by the road without me.
An it took her a LONG time to come back inside too.

Then she got in the waterfall- (and she stayed THERE a really long time too). When she was done, I was waiting for her to throw my ball up the steps, playin', but she said 'no'.

Isn't that AWFUL?? I tell ya, it's JUST AWFUL!!!

Sheesh. I really don't ask for that much.
('Sides, if I do, I do know how to BEG, and make her feel bad). H-A-rf, H-A-rf, H-A-rf.

I hope everyone, and their puppies, got some nice treats on that "Special" day.
And I hope we have another "Special" day soon!

May you always have a bowlful of fresh water, and may you always get your breakfast and supper. ( & on time). May you appreciate YOUR treats as much as I do mine.

Yup. I don't get them enough.
And that is awful. JUST AWFUL.

ARF!

Love,
Punk

Da Craziest Thing. (Arf)!

Off to da woods we went...

ARF!
   ...   And we ALL know what THAT means...

Means?  Mean?  (Yeah, you know who I'm talkin' about)!

"She" is mean!  Just wait 'til ya hear this story...

"She" takes me back to the woods.








I like da woods ya know.
So I smile.   BIG!

"She" knows I love playing fetch...
So I find a stick, an bring it to her.

She throws it real far. This is great fun. I always find it too!






Well mostly always I find it.

Sometimes not...




So...
As I am sniffin' around, lookin' for da right stick, wouldn't ya know I get snapped in my hinder?!  And by a tree!!!  (Is nothin' safe ennymore)?

My 'she' starts laughing and laughing and... LOUD too! (She's mean like that).

I gets really mad then, and am going to destroy that tree that paddled me!



It doesn't move.
I did get kinda stuck- well, my teeth sorta did... This made my 'she' laugh even harder!
Keep in mind that "she" iz there, taking the pictures of my pain!
How humiliating for me!!!

So I turned 'round so she couldn't see.



She just moved a little... (I should know bedder by now).

I have heard them 2 legged people say, "if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em."  I am no dummy, and I know what it means.  So I gave her my best shot; even if she is still laughing hysterically AT me.
I don't know WHY she keeps laughing so hard, (or why her eyes are full of water either)?!?



I give up.
As she moves away, I get snapped, right in the backside. AGAIN!
This time I see that "she" is stepping on a dead tree, and it is really long.  Every time she moves her foot this dead tree moves. If she rolls her foot just right, it pops up and snaps my arse.
That's NOT funny,  (is it) ?!?
No it's not!  I tell ya, it's da craziest thing I ever seen!

So I grab that dead stick and drag it down the big hill...



It broke - and I bring it back to her then.

Then she throws it halfway down the big hill for me! 
(This IS fun)!
Almost as fun to play fetch too, as it is for me to go paddlin' down the river!





"She" tells me I have had enough 'paddles' for one day, and then really loud again she says "Do NOT go in the river."
   - Mean she is! Just plain mean!!!

Since we are back in the woods, and I am having lots of fun, I listen to her.
(I really am a good Punkin, ya know).



We get to walk the whole ridge that day! 
Whoo~Hoo! Er, I mean "ARF" of course.
I jumped over that dead tree this time, backed away, really safelike too; and watched her hafta step over it.

Then, I smelled something really good. (I don't know WHY "she" says 'pee-you' when she smells these kinda things too).  It sure was smellin' good to me!




Oh-Oh.




Right she is. 
This wasn't a feast after all...
At least the leaves are covering it all up for now.
Good thing too, 'cuz I wouldn't want the poo in the hole to end up in my river.



It IS pretty, isn't it?
Would YOU go swimmin' with me some day?


"She" finds another stick for me...
I headed right on down to find it...

And I couldn't find it ennywhere!
But I could hear her again sayin' "Do NOT go in the river."





And then the worst thing ever happened...

 

and  I fell in!

I told her I was sorry though and she wasn't too mad then. 




Well 'cept for the dead fish I found on the way up. (Part of it is still stickin' out of my mouth).

I mean, could YOU stay mad at me if I said it this nice?



So I was a 'lil stinky. Big deal.  (I like it just fine like that, but "she" doesn't).
"She" is a killjoy, ya know.

For my punishment, she makes me go fishin'.   (This is punishment)???
I don't think so!

I tell her I'll catch 'em, but she's gotta clean 'em...

It's a deal.
















We work pretty well together, don'tcha think? 
And the house smelled really good after all that!
Mmmm...
It woulda smelled even better if she'da cooked 'em all, but she didn't. After wrappin' them all up, she puts them in the big cold box in the back.
Now I gotta wait for one more 'lil bite...

I'd better close before she catches me. Ya know how mean she can be.
A big old "ARF" to y'all.
May all of your own 4 legs be as good as I am, and may your bowls always be full.

Love, Punk

I Wuz Sleeping!

Me, in the woods



ARF!!!!!
(And we ALL know what THAT means)!

Yep! It's me, Punk!

I just wanted to let you know that I am alive and kickin'...

AND, there are times that I am still getting into trouble. 
Can ya believe that?!
Really?!?  ('Cuz I kin hardly believe it myself)!

Me and she (and a'course the darn cat) went for our walk on Friday. I kinda sorta got a lil tired and went to go sit up on the back lawn.


.

She sees me, and hasta take a picture!
I guess 'cuz I'm jess so cute. (Ya think)?

I try to show her that it is hot, and I am darn tired.


.

I give her one of my biggest and loudest yawns.
(She ignores me and keeps toodling around).

So I lay down. (With a big loud grunt too).

She still pays no attention to me!
What the heck? Am I invisible now?!?
Mebbe so.

But my sniffer still works...
And what IS that yummy smell???

.
 
And oh boy, Oh Boy, OH BOY!, do these ever smell good!

I gotta get a better whiff...
.
 
Mmmmmmm!

But wait!
Anything that smells that good...
.

Has GOT to taste good too, don'tcha think?
.

 

WOW!
They taste even better than pussywillows!!!
.

  

Sumpthin' pokey tho'...
(But dats OK- I growled at it).

.
 
I shooked it up too!!!

When I shooked it, sumpthin' poked my butt!?
That wuz pretty brave!

 

Brave or not, I had to let it go...

.
 

But gosh, it was SO yummy!

And a'course I had to clean up my 'lil mess there!

But cleaning that mess up wuz nothin' compared to the mess "she" made in the kitchen yesterday mornin'.

See, I wuz still asleep, (cuz I had a big day before), when all of a sudden, "BANg!"
The biggest and loudest "bang" I have ever heard ! (It wuz also the fastest I ever woke up)!
Whatever happened to "let sleeping dogs lie"?!
I'll tell ya what happened to it is I get NO respect!

Anyway, she doesn't even turn around as she walks into the room (where I wuz sleepin'), -she only looks at me and sez "That cannot be good."

She walked back in there, but not before I went and 'nspected it fer her.

Oh my goodness, ya won't believe me!!!
I know ya won't!
But I'll tell ya anyway-  There wuz ALL of her dishes, in little pieces, and all over the floor!

Now what am I gonna lick off of? Not even those yellow things tasted as good as all those dishes did!

...an' who hollers at her???  No one!
It ain't fair, I tell ya, it jess ain't fair!

I hafta go pout now.

Love,
Punk