My Blanket~Hidden Child

Just a few quick words here.

I am typing in the darkened hospital room as CaseyAnne gets a few moments of sleep.

She seems so very still like this... that at times I have to listen, and ever so quietly, for her to breathe.

They have removed her Iv's but have left them in her arm for now.

She is on 2 oxy~something drugs by mouth; even though they have told her that she may no longer eat anything.

She is in awful pain, curled up; into this little blanket covered ball...

In a way, she has almost allowed the goddamn, unrelenting, pain to win.
NOT ON MY WATCH.

She has begun to feel as though she is a burden to those of us who love her; and has stated that she does not care to go on like this.

I worry more now for what the constant pain has done to her mental health, as much as what the trapped enzymes have done to her pancreas during this past LONG week for her...

Still for now, she sleeps.
So still.
May her dreams ALL be good and sweet ones.

I do love her so. Pray.

Me

Friday March 14, 2008 - 12:38pm (CDT)

Same Old... Same Old...

Same Old... Same Old...

Ummm... "Refreshing Ice" ?!?!
Is Kwik Trip kidding? (Or just idiotic)?
hehehe

Personally, I am quite tired of "Refreshing"
(And yes, we have had some fluffy white 'refreshment' overnight).
And I think that little bit broke the record for all time seasonal snowfall
NOT THAT I CARE!
?

.

Good Morning ALL;

I remain completely moved by those of you that have taken of your time and hearts to leave comments and notes for us; to offer your prayers and thoughts, and to share of your own lives and experiences.
And I also know it is asking a lot, but please keep 'em coming! We enjoy all of your thoughts.

I have no more news than I had the last time I wrote.

Casey remains hospitalized in severe pain, seemingly uncontrolled by her meds.
She still has bouts of nausea too.
She had the Froedtert ordered CT Scan of her pancreas yesterday morning. The doctor reported within a few hours back to her.
(And yes, we are in Green Bay at this time; she will transfer to Froedtert when they have a solid plan for her).
Yesterdays CT Scan showed nothing out of the ordinary.
(While that is always a good thing, it only further confounds the mystery of her illness too).

And it is very disheartening to STILL be hearing "we do not know" ...
1. what is causing this...
2. what the answers are...
3. what the cure may be...
...after two years of this for her.

Personally, I would have her rechecked for CF. That would explain many, many of her symptoms and illnesses.
I do not know if there are many false negatives for that sweat test she had.
(But you can count on the fact that I will find out).

Miss Punk seems to be alright; although the discharge from her eye seems to be changing to a yucky color indicative of infection. Not sure if this is normal- I have been putting her gentamicin eye drops in religiously. I will call Dr. Spires early today and see what he says. There is not a lot of discharge, but what is there is raising a flag for me.

As for myself... As of last Saturday morning, my middle back has been killing me. This is a first for me. I have a touch of arthritis in my lower back, and the neck pain too. But my mid back has always been fine.
I attributed it to the fact that I was probably shaking like a leaf while I drove The Punk to the vet the day before, and then sped off to get Casey to the clinic too. And I don't think that shaky feeling went away til I fell asleep that night...

Upon waking on Saturday, it felt as though I had been kicked in the middle of my back... And it has had the nerve to get progressively worse. What the hey???

.

.

He might be hiding now,
but I swear, as soon as I find that jackass that kicked me
I shall send his smug sorry soul straight to the soap factory too!
hehehe

(Photo stolen from Sesame Ellis on Flickr).

.

.

But isn't he cute!

I'd better close for now- Casey has just called, and has received both bolus on her pain meds and her phenergan and still has terrible pain and nausea. She said not to come up though as she does not want to wake Greg who is alseep in the fold out chair in the room.

I feel so very impotent...

Love to you

XOXO
Me

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Originally posted to Y! 360, Thursday March 13, 2008 - 05:16am (CDT) 106