Good Morning Everyone!
I know it is 'cheating' somehow, no blog of my own today; but I have to share this little "story" with you...
Thank you Darla!
Besides, you all still have to recover from those malnourished pictures of CaseyFace.
From my email...
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A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
Written By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked.
There have been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
''Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?''
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued: ''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh...Mommy! I'm trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy... You are gonna get some candy!''
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.
Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!''
''No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies...Oh! Mommy!''
He started to gag at this point.
''Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gwoss !''
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the
subject..
I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
''Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''
He grunted as he tried to pull me off.
Now I could hear full-blown laughter.
I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?''
More laughter.
I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation....
''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.''
He started pounding on the door..
''Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''
I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.
My first thought was complete embarrassment. Then I thought, where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?
But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
***
Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three
She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, (where she no longer uses public restrooms).
***
So what has been YOUR most embarrassing moment? hehehe
(I promise not to tell anyone)! <:-0
Have a great day!
XOXO
Me
When my son was about 5 or so we were on the bus going to the mall to do Christmas shopping.
ReplyDeleteAt this time we had a friend named Robert who ,shall we say ..Indulged in Herbal Recreation.
My son says in a very loud voice when I asked him what he wanted to buy for people "Lets get Robert some joints, Mom" OMG...if i could have crawled away at that point..I would have !!
Gosh theres so many but the first one that came to mind was when Robbie was sitting behind the steering wheel of my car and I was cleaning the windows, a police officer noticed Robbie in the seat and walked up to him and playfully said "do you have a lisence to drive that car?" and Robbie said "no Im just little, my mommy doesnt have her lisence either cuz she left it at home" I walked over to the drivers side of my car and said "Good afternoon officer, uh I was just on my way home" as I'm getting in my car Robbie says with the officer still in listening range, "he didnt look like a pig at all mommy"
ReplyDeleteOh I have heard this one before and so funny! My Bex is a talker too!! She will talke to everyone along the way!! LOL
ReplyDeleteToo many to remember... that's my story. I'm sticking with it.
ReplyDeleteJT just read this one to me the other day.. too funny then .. too funny now.. Almost as good as the little girl in the bank .. hehe
ReplyDeleteEmbarrassing moments.. Nope.. NOPE NOPE~ I have purged them from my brain never to surface again!
My most embarrassing moment involved my oldest son before he was born......
ReplyDeleteMy first husband and I were in a furniture store and I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant....They had these "stereo chairs"....They were egg shaped and suspended from the ceiling.....
Now mind you I am short and had the baby belly and I am dumb enough to sit in this chair....Then I realize there is no way I can get out because my feet are no where near the floor and besides I have no leveage with the baby belly....
The only way for me to get out was the salesman had to put his foot on the chair (between my legs no less in a maternity dress) and yank me out of the chair.....
Beyond embarrasing I tell ya!!!!!!!
Love Ya