I am losing my mind...
As a few of you might recall, when Casey left for college 4 years ago, all the shit with Randy had been coming to a head.
He had already had his stroke, (to date he is still a changed man, and has never recovered his personality).
It was right after Casey had left for college, (and she had come home, unnaounced, for a weekend), that my garage door came falling down, 2 rollers completely missing. Although I have my suspicions, I do not know if those 2 incidents are related.
I had fortunately been bending over, holding Miss Milly, or that door would have possibly knocked me out for good.
A few weeks later, as I returned home, and upon opening my garage door, those 2 rollers were right in the middle of the floor of the garage.
To say I was freaked out would be an understatement.
Long story short(er), I had put those rollers into a plastic bag, not touching them, and had locked them in my safe.
Yesterday, Casey and I had reason to go in the upstairs closet for something or another.
My safe sat directly in front of the closet door (One couldn't miss it)! Keys and whatnot IN it.
AND the rollers gone.
- Randy ?
- Daughter ? (Which one? Why?) ?
- Gaslight ?
- Paranoia ?
Am I being paranoid?
Again, there is NO way I can go to the police. (Although Miss Nyk was good enough to calm Casey down last evening)...
Thank you Nykquee
No. I am not in love with him.
No. I have NOT trusted him since.
But GAWD, I do sure need the help around here...
Additionally, Casey has a key. Kelli has a key.
NO ONE else has any keys.
XOXO
Me
Steely Dan - Gaslighting abbie lyrics
Anne,
ReplyDeleteyou certainly have a mystery and a difficult one at that.
My first notion would be that Randy has been around a long time....so why would he do anything now?
He is very helpful and seems to be kind from what I read.....so it is hard for me to see any reason for malice.
Whom ever it is seems to know how to enter your home another way without it being obvious.
I would be looking for that...
Or...they have been around and close enough to one of you who have keys to borrow them and make themself a copy.
They must have had a reason to look in the safe....and reason to take the rollers....I am not sure why.
If it were me, I would tell Randy and seek his help. I just can't see him doing something so strange now after being helpful for so long.
But what do I know? LOL
Good luck....I pray you get answers.
Love ya :)
Sorry but if it is him I will not give him the satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteCasey has had many issues with the man- I try not to have them both here at the same time, (but I was very glad that her and Greg were here on Sunday).
So you DO think I am being paranoid then?
The rollers would mean nothing to anyone except for the person that removed them to begin with.
Casey was in that closet to show cousin Buttercup her wedding dress, not that long ago.
So it would have been while we were GONE to The Soo.
Only 2 people knew we were gone, save for Pea on here...
(And no it wasn't Pea). hehehe
XOXO
me
OK~that totally freaks me out. I don't know what to tell you~I am paranoid for you!!
ReplyDeleteSending all my over (and paranoid feelings...hehehehe)
Thers
xoxoxo
OK, I guess I either missed that info or forgot it over time. I guess I am just used to reading that Randy did this or that and was helping you out.
ReplyDeleteI think I am still wondering what his motive would be.
That does not mean that I think you are paranoid.....someone had to remove them from your safe and for reasons which appear would be to keep them out of future trouble.
I don't think any of us here will be able to even make a guess that would be better than yours or Casey's. You know those relationships best and if I were you I'd trust my instincts.
You have not missed anything. We have kept the obsessive part of him well hidden from our nice blogs...
ReplyDeleteHe does do things around the house, that is true.
However, he had his stroke and after that became unreasonably obsessed with me. He had to know where I was at all times, everything I was doing, etc etc... I told him MULTIPLE times to leave me alone, and to stop calling... He never listened. The first time I asked him to stop calling was when I left for college. Apparently he didn't get it. I have emails to Mom telling her that he left messages on my dorm phone and cell phone telling me I NEEDED to call him.
The first two times I told him this I eventually had to get his financial help and thus let him have access to myself again. I guess I just told myself to put up with the bad feelings I had about him so that my medical bills wouldn't send me into bancruptcy.
This last time I asked him to stop calling me was after a weird phone call I received one morning after an ER visit. He had called and asked me to come alone with him up to his dad's property. "I want to take you for walks in the woods..."
I didn't know how to respond other than to let him know that I just got out of the ER, was not only tired, but PERFECTLY happy with Greg. He got very upset. "Well I figured you'd want a change of scenery but I GUESS NOT!!!" and that was the end of the conversation.
I recorded the call I had with him most recently about not calling me. If he needed anything regarding the money I owe him, he could send me a letter in the mail, but any other contact was asked to stop. He claimed he had no idea why I was asking this and that he never did anything wrong. I did explain how I felt over and over again. He promised not to call. He was upset, but told me he wouldn't have contact.
So far he's kept to that. Only calling my phone once demanding that I call him; but that's nothing like the volume of calls I usually receive...
-------------------------------------------------
Mom has had days where she has begged him to come out and help with this/that like the drains. He'll tell her he'll come out that day, but coincidentally he's only showed up on the days that I plan on going out there (not the days when he's promised her to come out); and exactly 20 minutes after I leave our apartment. Coincident? I think not...
Remember, he has been a cop for over 25 years (I believe) and would know how to monitor someone without being obvious about it...
Motive? I can't attest to it fully, I just know in my gut how evil the vibe is that I get from him and how unhealthy his obsession is. He'll do just about anything to get to me... This scares me deeply. There's nothing I can do about it, though. It's not harassment if he is at Mom's and I happen to show up. He's been careful not to call me as this would give me warrant to file a harassment suit. Since there's nothing physical that he's done, a restraining order can't be filed.
He plays "stupid" but he is very smart. Especially with the garage door incident. Who wouldn't see that as just a minor at-home freak accident that happened??? He had the cell phones in his name at the time, and while the rollers disappeared, the next day while the accident would have happened and that night as well, our cell phones were DISCONNECTED. The bill was paid in full, and when I called to ask the company about it, they told us that they couldn't disclose any information because the account wasn't in our name...
Again, he is a cop. He is trained to follow people, trained to get inside their heads and play games, has seen his fair share of people getting hurt doing minor things around the house and how to make anything look legal, etc.... HE IS A COP!
Also, motive might also have something to do with the fact that Mom is planning on looking for a duplex with Greg and myself. We'd be on the reservation. It would no longer be his jurisdiction. Oneida Tribe Police D
Casey,
ReplyDeleteBased on your instincts and all you have been through...it does paint a much different picture.
A scary picture!
You are smart to restrict contact to mail. Mail him pymt's and keep receipts to cover your butt.
Anne,
Is the contact you have with him a case of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" ?
Do you feel that you can part company with him altogether and change your locks safely or do you feel intimidated and threatened by him....will it make him worse?
Perhaps you can change your locks and just not mention it....see if he seems agitated by it.
Watch him....record everything.
From the picture I have now I would say that no amount of help or repairs is worth this kind of fear and worry. It seems he could be showing a glimpse of danger that he is capable of. Even if he is not guilty, he has given you both and your instincts enough to fear from him.
Please be careful !
Love,
Beth
ReplyDeleteEmphatically nodding.
Yes!
And yes!!!!!!
Love you
XOXO
me
I am going to try to sleep for a while when Casey gets here. She had a chiropractor appointment at 2:30.
Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhile I have stated "importance" of a task I am not capable of doing, I have not begged.
hehehe
Everything else in Casey's rendition is true.
XOXO
me
Also...
ReplyDeleteCasey, I get the impression that his monitary help was an attempt to control. He knew the need and offered his help. It sounds like there are some unhealthy strings attached.
It's always what I read and hear about people with unhealthy motive who control.....they want their victims to 'need' them. That in itself worries me.
I do not blame you for being paranoid. I think you have every right to be paranoid.
ReplyDeleteSince Randy is a cop, if it IS him, it is going to be hard to prove that he is the one doing it. He knows how to cover his tracks...
What really worries me, is if he doesn't show up when he tells you he will but will show up if Casey happens to come out, HOW does he know that she will be stopping by?? That says to me that he is watching and listening. He could have your phone bugged and they make video cameras so tiny nowadays that you would never know you are being recorded... Please, PLEASE be careful. You and Casey need to work out some type of code while talking on the phone that he won't be able to interpret...
I am sorry... I did not realize that he was like this. If there is ever a sleepless night where you need someone to talk to, call me... I am usually up late. If you need my number let me know and I will PM it to you...
Please stay safe!
Sending you love, hugs and positive thoughts!
Slurkie
Sweet Beth,
ReplyDeleteIt is quite a scary picture. However, any of this could be interpreted as accidental or just plain crazy. I'm glad no one here thinks that we're losing our minds. Although, Mom and I both feel like we've gone crazy because of the situation.
Honestly, if we tell someone that a person got into our house and took something, they're obviously going to ask what was taken. It wasn't the cameras, computer, jewelry, but rollers... Seriously, they're going to look at us and think we're nuts and must've just misplaced them. To follow that up, they are going to ask who could've possibly done it. Randy? Like the officer that works for us, Randy? Yeah, right....
It would be filed away as unimportant... Or untrue...
My gut is telling me that we are being smart in protecting ourselves... My head is telling me I'm being insane...
Love you!
~Casey
Sweet Mommy,
ReplyDeleteYes, I suppose I stated that wrong... :(
You didn't beg, but did stress the importance and why we couldn't do certain tasks...
:D
Love you Much Much!
~Casey
Sweet Beth,
ReplyDeleteYes, I am with you on that. I think that is part of the reason he was/is upset about me living with Greg now. No other partner has taken care of me in the financial department so I've always had to fall back on Randy during those times. However, now that I don't have to, I can tell Randy's getting on edge. The first time he "happened" to show up at Mom's and I was there later, he kept telling me that if I wrote up a grocery list he'd take me shopping and get everything. I told him if I needed it I'd let him know.
He brought it up a few times on sunday as well, but I said we were fine...
Just got a call, actually, from a company that handles over-due bills for medical. Randy gave me a write up of all the bills he had paid. As of 2008 everything was covered. Today I got a call saying that not a penny has been given to them. NOTHING...
I'm guessing he just told me that so I wouldn't bother him about the bills, then didn't pay them because I'd have to rely on him later when the collections badgered me again... I hate living like this... It's ridiculous...
Love you,
~Casey
After reading this there appeared to be too many things that didn't add up. Until I started adding them up:
ReplyDeleteFirst, if the same person who removed the rollers was the same person who put the rollers back on the garage floor, there would be no reason to assume that there would be any evidence, like finger prints, on them. They would only be incriminating themselves, and that would be stupid.
Second, why would the rollers have been put back on the garage floor? Think back to what was going on when the rollers were removed and then to the day when the rollers turned back up. Is there any way to link what was going in your life on those two days? The only reason I can think of for someone to put the rollers back is so you would know someone actually took them off and that it wasn't some freak accident that they came off.
Third, if the only people who have keys are you, Casey and Kelli, and none of you had any reason to remove the rollers from the safe then that leaves someone who had a reason to remove them - like the person who did the original deed. Also, it wouldn't have been hard to have made a copy of the key, all they needed was to know where the key was, time to have a copy made and time to put the key back without being noticed. Easy.
Fourth, presumably, you and Casey were the only ones who knew the rollers were in the safe. So, did someone just happen to find them when they were going through your safe? Why would they remove the rollers from the safe unless they had some significant meaning to that person? Was anything else taken from the safe or moved around?
Fifth, whoever had the extra key to the safe definitely had the opportunity to enter the safe while you were out of town. But I don't think their original motive was to take the rollers. How would they even know they were there? So, what was their original motive for breaking into the safe?
I think it's pretty obvious who took the rollers off the garage door, who put the rollers on the floor of the garage, who has an extra key to the safe, and who removed the rollers from the safe.
I would have every lock on every door, and the safe, re-keyed ASAP. (And whatever you do don't ask Randy to help you with that job!!)
Sweet Slurkie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for these words... Like I said above, I feel like I'm going completely insane and I believe Mom feels that way too. It's nice to know that we aren't being some sort of conspiracy nuts...
You're right. Everything that's happened only points to him circumstantially at best and absolutely NOTHING can be proven. No concrete evidence at all.
Greg and I also wondered HOW he knew I'd be going out to Mom's house on those days. We haven't been able to figure that out. We tore our apartment apart last night looking for bugs, but he hasn't had access long enough to our place to do that. We also checked out my car. Randy has a spare to the car because he's the one who bought it in the first place. So that gives him complete access to it anywhere. We didn't find anything in or outside of it. I doubted that we would in the first place, but it comes down to the safe/sorry issue...
Greg got a scanner off of ebay that will allow us to go around Mom's house and check for any weird radio frequencies being transmitted from anywhere...
We are all being very careful and making sure we are protected... I hope it's nothing, but instinct is telling me otherwise...
Love you too!
~Casey
Sweet RT,
ReplyDeleteMom knew where the rollers were. I knew she had them, but had no idea where they were. As far as other things missing, Mom would have to answer that...
I'm not sure that said person knew exactly where the rollers were, just that she had them. We were gone for a total of 5 days. Which is plenty of enough time to search a house. The most obvious place that something like that would be kept would be a safe, so just finding a lock-box is the first step. The key was kept completely separate and hidden. Not in the usual drawers or bed stands near-by so obviously they LOOKED for the key...
You're thoughts are all on the same line as ours, and I'm glad we weren't the only ones to think that way... Again, I feel like I'm crazy. Greg thinks that's the point to it all: not to cause harm, but to play serious mind games... Well, I'd have to say it's working, but we're not ignoring the possibility of harm...
I'm definitely scared of what is unknown right now...
Love you,
~Casey
And this is exactly why someone does this. Isn't this the same premise of how a terrorist operates? What you fear is usually ten times worse than anything that would ever actually happen to you. It's done for one reason only - worrying wears the victim down until they become helpless with fear.
ReplyDeleteJust curious... if they found the key, did they put it back in the same place where it's normally kept? And, they probably have a copy of the key now.
ReplyDeleteParonoid...Nope....You have darned good reasons to be suspicious and cautious!
ReplyDeleteIt looks as if someone is playing mind games with you for a reason. And if Randy was a cop for all those years, my guess is he knows how to be a top dog sleuth and make things appear different than what they seem. He KNOWS how to cover his tracks! And...he could very easily be faking his personality change for a reason. That medical excuse was a good cover up that probably worked in his favor. He's not the first one to fake a "change" of personality because of a stroke or some kind of accident. I'm not saying the stroke never happened. I'm just saying he recovered from it and saw that as his excuse to continue being the new and improved Randy.
I would do some "setting up" for whoever is doing these things. Two can play that game Anne! May not even be Randy, but someone else completely. Not sure which would be the worst of the two evils.
Well... I have stuff like this happen to me all the time.. Does it tend to make you second guess and get a little paranoid.. OH yeah.. but you know no one else had a key... You know no one else was at the house...
ReplyDeleteSo unless you have some other evidence of someone being in your house I wouldnt worry. Now lets say it was him.. Why would that be the thing he messed with and why wouldnt he do something else?
My brains fried and I have no other answers than I would be freaked, come up with money to rekey things, and start eliminating the things that set wrong with you ( even if it is a person). You have other great friends willing to help you, so If you don't feel right about him, cut the cord.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the "over" Sweet Thers,
ReplyDelete(Is it a good thing)?
hehehe
Love to you
XOXO
Me
There are times that I hate my instincts Sweet Beth,
ReplyDeleteAnd knowing that my guts are hardly ever wrong does not help matters either.
Don't worry about forgetting these little things, I do that all the time anyway.
And he does help out- Now that his mom and dad are up in years, and separated, he is keeping up helping them out too. So he gets mixed up sometimes?
It is ALL guesswork and nothing ever much- But it all adds up to something?
Weird.
That's me.
XOXO
Me
Nice?
ReplyDeleteDefine "nice"...
hehehe
Just want to thank you for putting this all in words. It was not my place to do so, and I am glad you did.
Though I will say this. You make me more paranoid than I usually am.
Yes, he has helped you out financially- And before the stroke was much like a father. I have to stress that this is all POST stroke, and keeping his thoughts straight, and decent.
I also have to say that he has never hid behind, nor "used" his badge for anything improper or questionable.
I do not know how he "knows" when you will be out here, or showing up. But, I cannot remember how very many times I have called you to tell you he simply showed up either. That is odd.
And I do always tell him to call first, instead of just showing up- That would be different if he would always announce his presence, but since he doesn't, so he was asked to call first.
Not that he listens...
I love you always!
XOXO
Me
ReplyDeleteMaybe. Maybe not.
But yes, of course you are right.
If my back was painfree, I could then get into that space to work on the pipes, I would do so in a NY minute.
At the moment, my back hurts so much that it pains me even to breathe.
Just came in from bringing Punk out- And as always, so thankful she is here.
And trained.
I promise to call someone else tomorrow for their help with my plumbing.
XOXO
Me
Sweet SlurkieBaby-
ReplyDeleteAs I said above, it is all little things, except for the garage door, (that was HUGE).
I think I do have your number... It is under "Slurkie" in my phone! hehehe. True.
We just can't figure out "how" he knows either. Clearly he is NOT psychic.
My phones, (the 2 that I generally use), are cordless. No way to unscrew the mouthpiece or anything.
I do believe I am basically "safe" too. What with Punk and a few shotguns around...
Love to you
XOXO
Me
We ARE nuts. But that's beside the point.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Mama D
ReplyDeleteI love how you can sum up everything in one little sentence.
Odd that these conversations always happen out of my presence.
ReplyDeleteI have no clue to why he would have told you that about the bills... The LAST thing for you to worry about, EVER, is any past due medical bills. That's just silly. Do not let that company get to you. And if they call again, please put me on the phone.
Next time he wants to buy you things, kindly just ask him for a gift certificate to whatever store you need to go to. (I promise that will shut him up).
XOXO
Me
Sweet RT;
ReplyDelete...letting cooler heads prevail...
Know that I hate OBVIOUS shit.
Know that I hate having to ask "why" as well.
1st
4 years ago, I don't think they could have pulled anything significant from the rollers. But again, that is exactly why I kept them. You are right too, as to WHY they were returned. Even though I already knew this was no freak accident. See, if it would have been to begin with, those rollers WOULD have been there all along.
2nd Linking Life...
No brainer there.
Miss Milly was pregnant with Ophie. I had set up the corner in the garage for her to have her puppies. My garage was immaculate that day.
I had actually just finished setting everything right, and had bent down to hold Milly so the garage door wouldn't frighten her.
3rd
You are right of course- again. I have no OCD about checking my keys until I go somewhere. Even right now, those keys could have been gone for 2 days and I would not have been any the wiser. Just because I hardly go anywhere in the first place.
4th
Casey did not know where I had put the rollers. 2 friends of mine did, and they would care less unless they had reason to recall where I had told them that I put them.
The safe had the key IN THE LOCK! (I do not keep it there). And the safe was moved from its usual inconspicuous position to about 3 feet away. (God knows MY back didn't do that).
5th
There seems to be nothing else missing from the safe. But I did not go through it either. Just that when Casey had opened it, I had glanced over, and the items seemed cockeyed to me.
I shouldn't have reacted so, in front of her. But it was a shock, and I did.
I do have locks on the doors... and most of the windows as well.
What is left in the safe are insurances etc. So they will be protected in the event of a fire. No need to have it rekeyed. (Replaced maybe). AND, you have reminded me that there IS another key to the safe, and that I have no idea where that one is. (I thought I did, but I was wrong.
XOXO
Me
ReplyDeletesee above.
ReplyDeleteHence, the gaslight reference...
ReplyDeleteSo now I will KNOW if there are martians anywhere?
ReplyDeleteA bit of trust.
A bit of faith.
Terrorized in my own home? Sounds like a bad movie...
ReplyDeleteJust "why" ???
Yes, I have anxiety attacks, but I am not unreasonable either.
Nor am I a fearful person.
Nor will I allow myself to become that paralyzed with it.
BUT...
(There has to be a "but" you know).
One drain was left completely open from the wall in the back entrnce.
I found that today when I started noticing some stink...
The "j" was completely removed. And once more, this could have been an oversight on his part, (but it is what prompted me to write this).
XOXO
Me
Sweet PeachieBaby,
ReplyDeleteWow.
You have added yet another thing that never occured to me. The "faking" part of it all.
If that is the case, then I have to rethink more than a few conversations.
I really did, at one time, feel more secure with him than ever.
It would take a lot of "dumb" to get to his point though.
(And I am not calling him dumb. Not by a long shot).
The lesser of two evils.
Again, "why" ?
You made me giggle at "new and improved".
"Improved" couldn't be further from the truth. hehehe
XOXO
Me
ReplyDeleteSweet Beep,
Like I said, it is all little things...
XOXO
Me
Not to worry Sweet Oka,
ReplyDeleteThe entire house will be rekeyed tomorrow. And Greg will take care of the rest of the stuff.
(And I know you are right about the rest of it too).
XOXO
Me
Ya know what you need? A Nanny Cam!! They have hidden surveillance cameras now that can run 24 / 7 and that upload directly to a website eliminating the need to rewind, or start a new VHS tape, you watch what was recorded straight from the website. I don't know all the details, cost etc., but it might be worth checking out. It would certainly give you piece of mind.
ReplyDeleteI still can't figure out one thing. Why would Randy want the rollers back after so many years. They'd be practically impossible to prove anything by. I bet you a dollar those rollers turn up somewhere in your house, sometime in the near future. If so, he's just mentally F***ing with you.
Oh Sweetie, I have stuff-
ReplyDeleteRemember when we went to Minnesota, Greg had everything done.
(Never did watch anything though)...
And now y'all have me thinking I should have, instead of redoing the damned computer!
Sounds like for that nanny cam I would need more than dial up too.
Oh GRrrrrrrrrrr...
If those damn things turn up somewhere I don't know what I am going to do.
Probably get a few goosebumps...
XOXO
Me
That's what Greg had; only ran it to my computer.
ReplyDeleteI know I would be totally freaked out by this and I agree with what everyone else has said ..Change the locks ..Cut the ties ...Set up some type of survaillance ( not spelled right) This seems really weird to me and this person is totally screwed up if he is playing with you guys like this .. Stay safe and I will be thinking of you guys ..
ReplyDeleteAnne...don't mean to make light of this...but...do you still have your ghosts? Maybe after all this time, they have finally learned how to "move" things! Better them than a real person! But even if it were them...I would still have to ask "why?" Unless they just like playin with ya!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, that nanny cam idea sounds pretty darned good to me. You can put them in some of the least likely places so people aren't suspicious. You might just catch Randy "being his Old self", or some stranger who has been watching and knows your routines.
You don't think you're sleepwalking...do ya? Wouldn't that be weird to find out!
Dear Annie,
ReplyDeleteI only just saw this and am shocked. You could have called!!!
This puts a whole new light on the scratching at the bookcase of a couple of weeks ago.
Please, please be careful and watch that man. None of know what we'd do without you.
Big, big careful hugs for you and Casey also.
XOXO
Snotball