| Rating: | ★★★ |
| Category: | Other |
These excerpts were compiled from actual resumes and have appeared in magazines and numerous online publications.
"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
"Physical disabilities include minor allergies to housecats and Mongolian sheep."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"Work Experience: Dealing with customer conflicts that arouse."
__________
This is especially twisted for those of us who have ever done any hiring.
XOXO
Me
...from Lewis; the bizarre news guy
Also from this weeks "bizarre" edition...
ReplyDelete---- Strange items left on London transport ----
LONDON -
Transport for London's lost property office, which turns 75 this year, has dealt with unusual items including breast implants and bull sperm.
The office, which attempts to reconnect property owners with items left on buses, trains and trams, said some of the oddest items to pass its doors include a jar of bull sperm, a theatrical coffin, breast implants and a 14-foot-long boat, The Times of London reported Thursday.
The items, revealed in "The Book of Lists: London," also include a vasectomy kit, a garden slide, an urn of ashes and two human skulls.
Lost property office officials said they collected 170,000 items in 2008, including 36,852 books, 28,550 bags and 27,174 articles of clothing.
_________
Wait. A vasectomy kit????
wth?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was for all the bull sperm?
Now that's all funny, thanks for the early morning laugh.
ReplyDeletePeople are strange....
ReplyDelete"Yes Mr. Jones, we'd be happy to perform your vasectomy on Thursday. I have already sent the papers with your pre-surgery do's and don'ts. We also sent you a prescription to pick up the vasectomy kit at your local pharmacy. Please don't forget the kit, you may not like our other method with rubber bands."
ReplyDeleteToo funny!
ReplyDeletecrazy lol
ReplyDeletecrazy lol
ReplyDeletelol, those are funny!
ReplyDeleteso tell me Annie, what have you done for a living? I don't know. Me, I work third shift in a factory running packaging operations.
LOL...
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't 'get it' when it comes to resumes...
hehehe
LOL!!!
ReplyDeletehehehe
ReplyDeleteNo one's ever asked me that... Lots of things!
My own résumé started at Woolworths for inventory
Then KFC- (I worked for my fiance, and the SOB fired me).
Chili Johns (A chili place).
Then I worked as a secretary for many years for Astro Chef-
then Renew~A~Kitchen.
I worked at Holiday Inn (Orions, day waitress).
After Casey was born, that, I worked at a supermarket. (It closed)! hehehe
Then ran the drive up at the bank.
After that I was manager of the little store down the road.
Then we built The Townline- ~A gas station, c store, bar and restaurant. (I was GM there).
Then to another local station to bring up their #'s. (That I did).
;-)
So for me it began with numbers, and ended with numbers.
I do a few tax returns and such even now...
...A longing carryover from Townline where I did them ALL, (and LOVED it too)!
But hey, what can I say, the numbers are good!
Even Casey is going to school for Mathematics and Accounting!
Must be in the blood.
XOXO
me
hehehe
ReplyDeleteToo cute you are!
Maybe it WAS only a package of rubberbands???
I did think of that too, LOL
ReplyDeleteHaven't heard of this store since I lived in Germany, we left in 1985.
ReplyDelete