Flintville Ketchup

It's a pity-pot thing...  


Good Evening;
I am tired- so tired- but sleep won't come easy...
Behind on my pills - And when I do take them I will sleep for a few hours, waken- and another day begins. Maybe I slept too much today.
I have dreams- mostly of the variety that make little sense- but always of people I know (though they look real different too).
Very very weird- as I try to analyze them even a little...

I've had a raunchy week. (Shall I add "thus far")?    Doubtful.    I get to the point where I cannot 'do' anything- 
My laundry sits in the clothes chute, begging for cleaning.
As do my dishes.
As I do also.
Sitting in the shower upon a hard plastic chair just doesn't do it for me...
So, after a very thorough Polish bath, I had an appointment yesterday at the pain clinic. Nothing more they can do for me, so they are having us go in to talk to a psychiatrist.
No. Wait. He isn't a psychiatrist. He cannot prescribe pills- Anyway, he is some kind of 'ist' that has to tell us what the Intrathecal Drug delivery system, (otherwise known as an implanted pain pump), will do for me; and how to care for me afterward etc etc etc...
This all, since the meds- and how many so far- leave me a far cry from having a life of my own. I don't even know what *that* is anymore.
Sitting in a fooking wheelchair even for more than a month or three is no way to go through life; not by my standards anyway.
The beauty outside- of life renewing itself in the Spring leaves me inside, looking outward; and waiting.
WAITING FOR WHAT?!?  I would imagine that 'death' would be the answer to that.
Casey didn't show up for our appointment yesterday. Greg is sick, and I suppose she wanted to stay pretty close to him.
But it's OK she didn't show.
The guy just moved on to my testing phase- It was a "fill in the dot" thing that was just about 1000 questions, give or take.
Did they even have a table for me to write on?
No.
So I drove across town, (me and my Punkster)- just to go sit in someone elses wheelchair for 4 hours, in the waiting room, and coloring in little dots all afternoon.
But I do wonder how I did- (say, compared to Stephen Hawkings, or Einstein)? hehehe
I will find out in a few weeks how it went.

My next door neighbors came and cut the lawn, but just around the house and shed - I am very thankful that got done none the less. It looked real nice (until the dandelions decided to pop up through the mown lawns). 
Very very thoughtful of them to even have done that. I tried to pay her, but she would not take money. In the end, she settled for using the gasoline in my little red cans up when they come through here to do it.

Sorry that I have no better news. My TV is even dead. Lucky me.
It was old so it is time for a new one- Will go price them one of these days when I feel like it.
I do truly miss the chatter in the background though.

Hope all is well with everyone.
My love to all.

XOXO
Me