[My] Life in Wisconsin

Happy Birthday Laurie! ~~~(And a rant)...

 
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(That one's for you, Laurie).
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Good Afternoon Everyone.
I am sure many of you are wondering who this "Laurie" person is???
Me too.
hehehe

In reality, Laurie is one of the best friends that anyone could ask for-
We have known each other for many years; back to Junior High... And shared almost every part of each others lives this far.
And today she turns 50!
(Almost old enough to read hieroglyphics you'd think).
Many happy returns!
I truly look forward to the next 50.

Laurie is also Baby Mariah's grandmother.
And as such an honor is bestowed on her, I can only begin to imagine the bittersweet of the day.
CLICK HERE to visit Mariah's site.
And feel free to share and post Mariah's link on your own sites too.
Actually, please do.

Love you Laurie!


~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Now on to my rant of the day.

(That scientific principle where there is an action, there is an equal and opposite RE~action)...

Two nights ago, Sunday night, I felt like death warmed over.
(Yes, my throat still hurts). But I had slept almost straight through; (I think I may have needed that).

There were a few phone calls that threatened to wake me, but nothing that wouldn't keep 'til the morning or when I felt better.

...OR SO I THOUGHT anyway!!!

One of the calls was from Roberta. Said she needed a babysitter for Monday at one in the afternoon.
I told her I did not feel well, that I was sleeping, and to call me back when I was awake.
She never called back.
Obviously this was HER choice.

She took it upon herself to immediately call Casey, (who was still recovering from her own latest visit to the hospital); and to tell her I'd said I wouldn't babysit for her.
Surprise. Surprise. (Casey and I actually talk)!

So I am very angry with this 28 year old daughter of mine.



And it was Roberta that was angry at both Casey and myself. ?

Roberta called this morning...
Would I take Gabriel today?
Given the way I have been feeling, I was truly not sure how to answer that one??

So I warned her that I might have strep and wouldn't he run the risk of getting it too?

At that point, she looked no further than this phone call; with the exception of calling to get him here.

Yes, Gabriel is here. (Thanks to Marie, for bringing him out).

Along with him came a $20.00 bill for gas, and a copy of her work schedule for the next two weeks.
She works clean through until the 29th, with the exception of next Sunday and the following Wednesday.
WTfH?

God help me, but I thought I was done raising children.
And I know that that remark sounds really bad.
I assure you, it is NOT intended to.

I love my grandchildren.
ALL of them.
I just always thought grandbabies were supposed to go home at some point.

Is this ungracious?
How about UNchristian?
Is this wrong?

And yes, I really DO know that compared to what Laurie, and her son Mike, his wife Micki, and their children are facing, this would amount to exactly nothing.

But that is ONLY by comparison.
And good grief, I really don't think there is even a comparison to be made.


I am saddened for the life that Gabriel has been given-
That, and the fact that I am not empowered to be able to change it.
Yet I do not think it right that I should be having him 24/7, and to run the risk of her calling the damned police again when she calls to tell me to bring him home and I cannot just jump on that either.
And FYI, (should she ever read these words, blocked or not); that WAS a very cheap shot to have done that to me in the first place.
For the Gods sake, she didn't even call me to tell me WHEN to bring him home that night.

Not sure what exactly is upsetting me more...
The fact that I am thrust into Mother role all over again, (not only for Gabriel but for her as well)-
OR,
The fact that she chooses to lie her damned fool head off time and time again.

I'd better close for now- as I must go try to expend some of this ranting energy I have.

Hope all is well with you.
Love always,

XOXO
Anne


Originally posted to my Y! 360 Tuesday August 19, 2008 - 03:24pm (CDT)

43 comments:

  1. GSKTTA



    Good Swift Kick to the 4$$




    that is all I have to say.

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  2. no.

    For the BAD mommy not the good one.

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  3. I am with DeeAnne on this one...

    You have raised us all WAY better than this. And to think that she even bothered to call ME the liar to you this morning!?!?

    Happy Happy Birthday to Laurie!!!

    My tooth is killing me... I must post a blog quickly then get some rest...

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  4. I love my granddaughter to bits but if it even looked like I would have her 24/7 as you say I'd be moving to Wisconsin faster than a blink!
    Especially with such an unappreciative parent ! Wow
    God Bless you !
    oxoxoxo

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  5. Good evening Bart!

    I dont think its being a bad mother, grandmother or Christian to feel like she should take care of her own child.

    I guarentee my mother and my mother in law both had no problem telling ME that they had raised their children and that it was up to me to raise mine. Neither would babysit at all for me, ever. Of course, today they both are paying for that attitude. Sad thing is Im not sure they notice.

    Im wondering has she ever appologized for being such a butt to you?

    Children.. what do you do? Cant kill 'em.. Cant beat 'em..

    Luv to you sweety and I sure hope he doesnt catch that nasty stuff you had.

    beepluvsbart.com

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  6. Whew Sweet Pea;
    I had hoped so...

    I am back home now.

    Bringing Gabriel back to his house.
    No Roberta wasn't there.
    (This was after 5; she got done with work at 2).
    But at least he has another kid to play with.

    Hopefully she shows up before her roomie has to go to work for 3:30 AM.

    XOXO
    Me

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  7. Why does that line crack me up???
    You don't HAVE a tooth left TO kill ya!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Put it under your pillow.
    One never knows what will be there in the morning...

    Love to you, (you little prevaricator you)...

    XOXO
    Me

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  8. OR,
    this could sound as though you have found a new cure for a toothache!

    (I shall have to try that next time).

    Think it would work for a migraine?
    "Gonna barf; I must post a blog quickly."

    Just sayin'...

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  9. Sweet Bug!
    Please read my comment back to Sweet Pea; maybe you will change your mind about God Blessing me...

    Hey, I figured as long as she'd sent that $20 bill, making sure I knew it was for gas, she MUST have wanted me to bring him home then, right?

    I told Greg I would pick him up at her work 10 minutes before her shift starts tomorrow at nine.
    She gets done at 2 tomorrow. I will be there to drop him back off at 1:30.

    Yes. She is very unappreciative. (And $20.00 is NOT gratitude; nor would be any amount of $$$).
    Raising your children first, putting them first and keeping them there until they are 18 when they become DECENT adults would be gratitude enough for me.

    XOXO
    Me

    And you would be welcomed in Wisconsin anytime. I have 3 empty bedrooms. (So feel free to threaten them with that anytime).
    hehehe

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  10. Happy Birthday to Laurie!!!

    Sooooo..you're still not feeling well AND you have the company of an over energetic kiddo...YIKES!!!..Lawd oh mighty do I ever remember all those "wunnaful" days and I don't miss them!!!

    As you know..I moved to Texas 5 yrs ago (for many reasons that I won't mention here)..anyway..before coming..that's exactly what I did..on everyday off..I had grandkids..Not a dayum person ask how I was feeling, if I felt better when I was sick, ect..just "I NEED to bring so and so tomorrow cause I have to work"...Like you, I felt guilty when I had to say no and my kid's knew that I would..Again..I don't miss it..I talk on the phone with kids, visit once a year if able and send money.

    The past 2 months I've been paying all the bills for my youngest daughter..she's out of a job YIPPEEEEEEEEEE:|..that doesn't worry me too much, but she has my grandson (and she knows this) grrrrrrrrrrrr..sooooooooooo my 45-1/2 yr old arse is working overtime to pay the lively hood of my young, vibrant 23 yr old daughter..now wth is wrong with that pic???..ME!!!..It's my fault and I do know it, but I just can't turn them away..my Mother disagrees and says as long as I do, they won't..such words of wisdom hehe, I just can't turn my back, but I really need to..At the age of 23 I would've no more asked my parents to pay my rent than fly to the moon...HELP!!!

    Gawd can I rant or what???..I need to get out more..Big huggiessssss to all!!!..Don't feel alone in your boat of the "keeper" hehe..have a terrific day and stay well!!! xoxo

    P.S..I just saw your new post pop up to Nancebug..that was weird LMAO.

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  11. Sweet Connie;
    I have already told my kids that.
    And of course I have babysat in a pinch many times.
    I DON'T MIND THAT AT ALL.

    But to just send him out here and expect it?
    Um... Nope.
    And I KNOW my girls would ALL know better than that.

    I have never asked anyone, "can you babysit today?" and sent my kids off with 2 bags of clothes, and a $20.00 bill; expecting them to keep a child for 2 weeks.
    .
    I even had a sitter for my short shifts. (Lucky for me, my sitter also had 4 daughters)!
    And Little Lisa has become one of my dearest friends!
    But even with that, and going out playing ball 3 times a week, (some drinking dancing and whatnot too), MY KIDS ALWAYS CAME FIRST.

    Yes, my girls all spent plenty of time out here at the farm.
    And yes, every now and then Mom and Dad would say 'no'
    Oh my, I even dealt with that!

    Now, after Z and J started school, Roberta spent TONS of time with her Grandpa (my dad).
    I was working fulltime (+) and the 2 older ones were in school.
    I saw her weekends- some nights if Mom and Dad came into town for dinner with us. But she always wanted to go back and stay with them too.
    Dad died when she was 4- So that was almost a whole year of her bonding with him before he passed away. (I think that was great for them both too).
    Big difference though- Even though Mom and Dad had already raised their kids, there were still TWO of them!
    Me? Only one of me.
    And when Dad died, mom did not have her out here nearly as much.

    And life went on.

    Even with all of that, I am still NOT my parents.
    Nor did they raise my kids!

    Now as far as your mother and mother in law went, you say they are paying for it now.
    I do not want to end up like that either.
    What now?

    Is there ever a happy medium I wonder?

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

    bartluvsbeep.com

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  12. Sweet WyckieBaby!
    I want to say that too.
    hehehe

    It is always nice to hear form someone who has already been in the same boat--- oars or not!

    See? We do have a tendency to get ourselves into these 'fixes', don't we.
    I have gladly paid Casey's way many many times.
    The others I have always loaned money to when they have asked, and even with writing "loan" on the checks, they have not repaid a silly nickel.
    Maybe your daughter will repay you.
    (Maybe we two will win the lottery too)...

    But yes, your mother is right.
    The "inch = mile" sort of thing.

    Live and learn.

    I have learned to love such good friends through this wonderful internet.
    (I would be pouting alone here without it all).

    Love to you always

    XOXO
    Me

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  13. We were sent off to relatives allthe time, it was arranged in advance. I have NEVER EVER had a problem babysitting for family when asked properly unless there was something already scheduled in that spot. I mean family IS precious so time spent with them is great.

    My MIL/FIL did the same. My mother/father/dad lived too far a way or they would have too.

    But NEVER EVER did a child get dropped off for a day with instructions for two weeks. Unless someone died or was GONNA die.....

    Make it clear that you are NOT a free resource of daycare. If she can't afford daycare, she should get a different job or give up some luxuerys.

    That said, enjoy the time with the kid, they grow up so fast and he seems destined for a short childhood.

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  14. Wow am I ever lost! I am sorry that she does not appreciate you, I know I appreciate mom and always will for all the help and love and support she gives us even now. That goes for Judy too! Sorry!

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  15. rock-Annie-hardplace

    rock-love-hardplace

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  16. khoolaid hit it on the nail head. What a spot to be in. Sweet Anne, you can not consider yourself anything but a wonderful person who has gone WAY above and beyond. I'm not so sure I would be as gracious as you have been. People like Roberta make me so angry, You just want to shake the XXXX out of them and ask them what they are thinking. Hang in there and know that someone in NC continues to lift you up in prayer and for today and today a special prayer that you will have clear guidance on how to handle this situation.

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  17. Sweet Pea;
    My damned head is still spinning...
    And I also know you speak the truth above.

    We had a farm, and as a kid, my only getaway was going to 4~H Camp (Bird) for 5 days each summer.
    Besides that, our relatives (ie: Grandmas and Grandpas) were either dead, living here, or in a nursing home.
    ALL of my grandparents died before I was 5.

    My aunts and uncles all had children of their own-
    Most of my cousins,
    (scratch that, ALL of my cousins),
    are older than I am.

    But ALL of our parents raised their own kids.

    Maybe it's a different world now.
    Maybe in a way, it really DOES take a whole village to raise a child.

    I do enjoy Master Gabriel, (and almost ALL of his shenanigans too).
    And like I have said, I really DO feel SO effing badly for the life he has thrust upon him every day.
    And yes, that is where my own conflict lies...

    I am not his mother.
    His mother would never consent to that, even if she did sign away her firstborn son last February with no questions asked.

    As far as luxuries go... Not sure there are too many.
    Hey, ya think she should start with not drinking and not sleeping around?
    (Both of which I found out yesterday she returned to as soon as those C~Section staples came out of her belly).
    Guess that was a surprise to no one but me.

    Gabriel cries now when he has an accident in his pull ups.
    Some days I want to cry with him.
    I bring this up because it tells me two things...

    #1. Someone BIG is hollering at him for doing this.
    #2. Someone LITTLE is NOT quite ready for potty training.

    If she cannot properly care for Gabriel, how the hell does she think she can care for TWO of them???

    I know, too many questions.
    and a HUGE sigh too...
    You are right about his childhood...


    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

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  18. Sweet RubyBlue!
    You are NOT lost. You are in California!
    hehehe

    Every now and then she will come to me and thank me for things I did years ago.
    (And Lord knows I might not live long enough to be thanked for this).

    Please tell Granny K, and Granny J, that Granny A says hello!

    Love to you all.

    XOXO
    Me

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  19. The difference sweet Bart between you and them.. they had little to do with my sons. They didnt have time for them.

    With my mother.. well.. shes just hateful.

    My motherinlaw.. my husband was hateful, so she didnt want that .. which indirectly caused my sons to be punished for the sins of the father.
    In either case.. my sons really never got to know their grandparents. As grown men.. they try bless their little hearts but it doesnt always work.

    Im sorry shes using you.. and thats what I see. You always make time for your grandchildren.. another something that I see.

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  20. Sweet Yoyo!
    I am thinking that by posting this entry it shows everyone how LESS THAN gracious I am.

    Yesterday, when I reamed her out for all the damned lying, I really DID want to shake her to the very core...
    ...Unfortunately (or luckily) we were only on the phone.

    I thank you for your prayers too.
    Yet, after reading Micki's blog about Baby Mariah this morning, I believe they need those prayers MUCH More than I do.
    Please offer the prayers for their whole family?
    Please?


    Love to you

    XOXO
    Anne

    http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mariahklein

    ~

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  21. Sweet Beep.

    I do try to always make time, even if I feel used/useless. Although when I dropped him off yesterday afternoon I made it clear that I would NOT be able to sit for him Tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
    (I really AM trying to get this sale off the damned ground, and out of my sheds)!
    And even with Casey's wonderful help, there is no way we can do that with a two year old running around.

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Anne

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  22. Do I really have to say what Im thinking for you to know? hehe

    But..It is a sad reality in today's world that too often grandparents are becoming mothers again without ever getting pregnant themselves. Children are tossed from one home to the other and do these "parents" see anything wrong with that? no....

    and now just so as not to be to hypocritical I did just ask my mother in law next door if she'd put my boys on the bus for the next 7 weeks while I get through training at the new job. BUT she will only have them for like half an hour everyday..... Thats the other sad reality mothers have to work and not many bosses will work with a mothers schedule...

    FINALLY...if she called the cops cause you were late THAT is a HELL OF A LOW BLOW...why are you even watching him again? I know for Gabe not her....but were I you I'd be very tempted to leave her to find another babysitter or daycare...

    just my two cents...

    love ya!

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  23. oh one more thing ....what kind of mom does not care if her child gets strep

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  24. Here's the cop story...
    http://flintville.multiply.com/journal/item/621/

    Sweet Becca;
    As always, I love your two little pennies!
    hehehe

    ASKING you mother in law to get the kids on the bus is one thing- (Packing them up and sending them there for the duration would definitely be another).
    And especially IF you only worked for 3 to 6 hours a day...

    Yes. I do this selfishly for Master Gabriel AND for me.
    Just that there are times that I simply cannot babysit.
    Then she is angry and there is hell to pay.

    I have to go get him at 9 this morning.
    Sadly, I almost do not have to wonder how that will go...

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Anne

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  25. Thanks for catching that one Sweet Becca...
    Not sure how to answer that either.
    I thought maybe I was making a deal out of something I shouldn't have.

    I really WAS able to keep my distance yesterday; today will be harder with respect to that as he won't be napping while he is here.

    As Mama used to say "Difficult, but not impossible."

    XOXO
    me

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  26. I dont get it.
    At my peak of single parenthood I was working 10-15 hour days. I always picked my son up after and took him home with me. Even when my sister was his day care provider I was a paying customer. Just like the rest. I had to get him up at 4 am with me to go back to daycare. I felt sooooo guilty for the time I missed with Collin. Knowing full well that tomorrow is not promised and life could come to a screaching halt at any moment, I wanted to cram every last good memory I could into those times. I didnt have time for a man when he was 2....and I think I got out maybe once every month or three for time to myself. What is she thinking? I pray that child has a full life because if something happened to him tomorrow it pains me to think of the guilt Berta will have.

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  27. Where is my head?


    Happy belated Birthday Laurie, may God bless you with his comfort and peace today and always.

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  28. We can't beat our kids!?!?!?!?!? ;-)

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  29. It's so weird that we were talking about this very thing last night in my church group for co-dependants. Unfortunately we came up with no answer.

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  30. not at all surprised by that....

    I think you are right on all counts.....




    Yeah luxeries... cigarettes, alcohol, and the other crap.

    The pull ups bit made me want to cry.

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  31. After reading all the comments...all I can offer is for you to just do the best you can and love those kids as much as you can. What else can you do? I think as long as Gabe has loving adults in his life to give him stability when he needs it, it will all turn out in the end.

    Hope you're starting to feel better! I'm almost finished packing and we're moving out on Saturday!!!

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  32. Sweet BethieBaby;
    I really DO know that guilt you speak of too. And having the three eldest to care for ALONE only exascerbated that guilt.
    I didn't pay my parents, (not that they would have accepted anything anyway), but I always did little things when I could for them too.

    I only chose the last line to highlight because otherwise I would have to highlight the entire thing...

    In reality, sadly she KNOWS NO GUILT.
    Seems to be missing that gene.

    She DOES give wonderful 'lip service' to that aspect of her life; but mostly it is under the guise of the "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" thing.
    (But "PPPM" does NOT work when one does the same things over and over).

    "PPPM" then becomes a crutch- and only works on the ignorant 'new' people in her life; and she must then keep a constant supply of those types.

    Time to pull up by the bootstraps and 'make' something of your life Berta.

    Aw Beth, I don't 'get it' either...

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

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  33. My guess is that there are no happy mediums...
    And never any real answers-
    ...only as they would pertain to each s(h)ituation.

    If Sweet Pea doesn't mind, I do have a book to be sending to you about this all.
    I am 3/4's of the way through it.

    XOXO
    Me

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  34. (As long as they are not ALL "Village Idiots" of course)...

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  35. See?
    I do want to cry right along with him these times...

    (And can only hope I am right on these counts).

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  36. Sweet Lisa!
    Your dogs called.
    They were afraid you were going to pack them up in boxes too!

    I believe everything you have offered in your 1st paragraph here is so true.
    And I think that is exactly where all my own frustrations come in too.

    We DO love him.
    And fair being fair, Roberta does to, IN HER OWN WAY, and how she is capable of, AS HIS MOTHER.
    It is her unwillingness and the INcapabilities that make me so sick over this all.
    We always want more for our kids than what we had.
    That same thought process then goes double for our grandchildren...

    Love to you all always.

    XOXO
    Anne

    After spending the day yesterday complete with MORE lies, (not from Berta this time), I was feeling too angry to feel anything else.
    My B/P has gone down now... My throat is still kind of ugly.

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  37. OK...
    I just went and checked...
    I do not have a flashing sign on my forehead that says "LIE to ME" on it.

    WTH?

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  38. YIKES is all I have to say at the moment, and also, aren't humans the only race that doesn't EAT their young?? Some days I have to wonder why!!

    I have friends who are more or less raising their grandkids while their daughter and husband live in the same house and pretty much do what they want. This makes me freaking angry. I chose to have children, I mother my children. Does my mother help me out with babysitting now and then? Absolutely. BUT I do NOT expect my mother to take over parenting my children any ole' time I have something better to do. That annoys the HECK out of me!!! I have never understood how other people can do that!!!!! GRRRRRRRR. Not that this has anything to do with the grandchild/ren.

    I'm just spittin' nickels for ya!!! Hang in there. Hope you feel better, by the way, too...That's from one stuffed up congested head to another!! LOL

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