[My] Life in Wisconsin

You Maybe Saw It Coming... Didn't You?








Good Morning.

Or is it?

...Deep breath...

ROBERTA and GABRIEL...

Roberta works as a waitress/hostess at a little restaurant in Green Bay.
She has even finally arranged to have Gabriel at a child care facility.

Sounds good, no?

Problem is, she has placed him there from 4pm til midnight. (She doesn't even WORK these hours).
?


The state of Wisconsin has finally stepped up to the plate, and has taken Master Gabriel into their custody.
I believe they will be checking into Sams 'home' too; although I wish to go on record that Marie and Chuck are taking real good care of him. No worries.

For now, (and God knows how long), Gabriel is in a foster home, not too far away from here.
~They have 2 preschoolers for him to socialize with.
~They also have 2 school age children, that they have adopted out of the system.
Their own babies have long since graduated from high school.

(God bless this family)!

Roberta, (IF she can be located) must be in court tomorrow afternoon.

~She must prove her income.
~More importantly, she must prove that Gabriel has a safe place to sleep, eat, grow, etc if he lives with her.
~She must prove that she has bought him clothes and diapers.
(Her food is on the States pay as Food Stamps)

I have all those clothing, diapers and Pull-ups (and other necessities), receipts in my possession and on my credit card, simply because I have been loving and supporting this child forever.

Casey and I will be in court also.

Gabriel had been here again, since Saturday.
Apparently Roberta did not come home to Gabriel-
And when she did, was quite drunk, (God knows what else).

On Saturday she moved in with the dishwasher from her work.
(Also apparently a drug dealer). Will have to do some checking online about this guy yet...

Casey drove to town to pick Roberta and Gabriel up.
~He was filthy dirty; wore soiled/wet pull ups.
~He was clearly overtired, and over hungry.
~Not wanting to even eat but a few crumbs, he slept from 4 that afternoon until I woke him at 8 on Sunday morning!

Back to Saturday, Roberta walked in here after being thrown out of still another guys place.
After talking to her, (seeing her inability to even keep her eyes open), I told her Gabriel could stay anytime, but she could not.
(I really cannot have her/lifestyle in my home).

I told her that I do not care who, or how many, men she sleeps with; nor how many diseases she spreads around.

And said I no longer cared how many or what kind of drugs she takes.

Nor do I care how much alcohol she thinks she can drink.

I also told her that "as long as I draw breath I will fight to keep her from bringing Gabriel down with her."

She brought in a few armfuls of clothes, dumped them in the bathroom; and stated that Gabriel has a doctor appointment scheduled for October first.
?
She then signed over custody (albeit temporary) to me.
Casey then drove her back to Green Bay.

Please pray a few words for my Little Master Gabriel.

~I have lost both of my parents.
~I have been divorced twice.
Believe me when I say this is the hardest thing I have ever been through.

Sadly I also believe it is a LONG way from finished...
William called last night too- he believes this will open many doors for me.
Time will only tell.

Love to all.

XOXO
Anne
 

93 comments:

  1. I am lost with one part of the story.
    How did Gabriel go from your custody to the states?


    This is a very hard scenario, and so shortly after the passing of little Mariah. You certainly must still be in shock. Everyone SHOULD see how blessed they are to have healthy children, but sadly it seems some are not capable of seeing past their own noses.

    This addiction(s) is going to make Berta regret so much of her life.....My heart breaks to think of the mess she is making. What breaks my heart even more is the way that Gabriel is paying for her mistakes already....and at such a tender age!!!

    I am here for you.....whatever I can do....Even If just to be here and pray...I am here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry my friend..I will continue to pray for you, Berta and everyone through this hard time..

    Gabriel is in the safest hands right now..You are one of the best people in his life..you're very fortunate to have each other.

    Please take care of yourself and enjoy that pepsi lol xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. WTF???? So how long will Gaberial have to be in foster care. Can't he stay with you if she signed over temporary custody? I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this crap again from her. Gabe is such a wonderful little guy and is so lucky to have you as a Grandma Nana!!! Thank God that Marie and Chuck have little Sam in their great home.
    Let me know if you ever need anything at all!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG my sweet Anne~I thank God that precious child has you and CaseyFace to look after him. I honestly do not know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I really don't. First off, I don't think if one of my kids would have been so irresponsible that they would have any hair left on their head~I would have dragged them to WHEREVER by whatever lock of hair I could get my hands on. I am really just at a loss for words. But know that I am always here for you to talk to...regardless of the hour. You have my number (and if you DON'T let me know and I'll send that to you again)

    My heart goes out to you my dear friend...
    sending you my love~
    and to my little CaseyFace too!! (and Punk, Miss Millie and without a doubt~little Master Gabriel!!)

    thers
    xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so sorry. I know you must be devastated over all this.

    Roberta has hurt so many people, doesn't she see this, and why isn't she trying to get some help for herself?

    I don't understand why the state took Gabriel away when you had temporary custody and he was loved and being well taken care of by you.

    What did you mean when you said that William said this would open many doors for you?

    Hon, if you need to talk you know where to find me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My first thoughts were to say how sorryI am but I wont lie...

    I thin k its a very good thing that he is no longer in her custody.

    I do feel sorry for you. Is there now way the state will let you keep him rather than foster care?

    Echos RT what does that open many doors mean??

    Please know Im here for you and casey. Kisses and hugs!

    ReplyDelete

  7. OMG!
    I have slept until 3:30 here. Little naps, a few phone calls, etc...

    I will be right back, but just now William has set me a note in my email to solve the red fish question from my last blog...

    Will post that and come back.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  8. OK. Editing and comment is done for that 'blag'.
    hehehe
    Just you go see what kind of fish those are!

    Also from William:
    "Open new doors", It will make things a lot easier for Anne to get Gabe from the state, than from Berta. She is the closest blood kin to the boy."
    Thank you William-

    XOXO
    Me

    Yes William knows there is two ways of doing things.
    And sometimes those ways include a good way and a better way.

    Be right back... again...
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. And if anyone missed or forgot about this blog and its comments, please click to refresh your memory.

    http://flintville.multiply.com/journal/item/619/How_Would_YOU_Deal

    XOXO
    Mre

    ReplyDelete
  10. WTH?
    Some days i can't type worth a darn...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sweet Beth;
    Our little man needs a bit more help than what I can give him.
    The Gabriel I had even a week and a half ago is not the same little boy that came to me on Saturday- Something is wrong, and I don't know what it is.

    The paper she signed was only a medical release, and "temporary" handwritten placement.
    Even though she has acceeded to drug testing as requested by me at any point in time.

    The state obviously is able to overrule such a paper.
    The one she'd written in July was the better one, giving me complete authority.
    But none of that means a damn thing in the face of Gabriel being hurt or abused or neglected in any way, shape or form.

    You brought up Baby Mariah...
    Here is her Uncle Brett and Casey, studying psychology during the rummage sale.
    ~


    ~

    I have little/no sympathy left anymore for Roberta.
    I know, 'bad mommy'.
    And the words I'd spoken above were very hard. But final too.
    She knows there is no more tolerating her own selfish whims.
    She knows she has a problem. Why then was it HER idea (by her own admission) to go out and party?
    She is 28. I told her I was done raising her.
    Maybe that point will be taken.
    She needs God.
    Gabriel needs help.

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sweet Wyck;
    I know he is safe. And that is what means the very most to me.
    She cannot be calling, demanding him whenever she feels like it. (Or calling the police if I haven't jumped at her immediate request; never mind that she hadn't called once in the meantime.

    I just hope Gabriel KNOWS that I/WE love him best.

    About the Wild Cherry Pepsi. Methinks I needed an IV or something, given the fact that I slept almost all day!
    hehehe
    But I have one in front of me now... And it's even open!
    hehehe

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  13. My Sweet Angel Katie;
    I could answer all of your questions here... But instead, just go back to my comment back to Beth.
    You know already that I have thanked God for YOU many times.
    Know that I have thanked Him for Miss Marie and Chuck many times too. I don't know what I would have done with a newborn and his drug addicted mother living in my house. As is what would have happened had Chuck and Marie not stepped up to that proverbial plate.

    The ability to truly love a child, whether connected to a person by blood or not... I believe that will be the litmus paper on which we will all be tested in the end.
    See yourself there?
    See Marie?
    See Lori?
    And I know many many others too. Especially my own mom and dad- loving us enough to adopt us and to be our parents forever.

    LOve to all of you!

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sweet Thers;
    ... I had to chuckle at your comment about not knowing what to do.
    (See, I still don't know what I would do in my own shoes).
    Maybe I have finally lost that last marble...

    When I was speaking to the intake gal, I made mention of the fact that Roberta isn't 6 anymore, and I cannot just dish out a spanking or a time out.
    Would I have loved to thrash her?
    Yes. (And Casey would have to had taken a number and gone to the back of the line)...
    I believe I do have your phone number in my 360 book.
    (Just that I am not sure where that little book is either).
    OK So my house is a complete disaster...
    Oh well.
    My heart isn't.
    Yet anyway.

    Love to you

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sweet RT;
    First of all, and publicly, I am sorry to have unloaded to you these past few days. it isn't fair to you. And there you were.
    I thank you for maintaining my sanity... Hope you got some sleep too.

    Again, the State can override anything. But again, that is not the point either.
    The point is to keep Gabriel safe and sound- and at least for the time being to be away from his own mother. When he is here, I really do fear her showing up and demanding him to go back.
    I am not sure how my own parents lived through our first year of placement either; knowing that AT ANY POINT, and for any reason, our birthmothers may have changed their minds...


    Williams comment is explained above. (By himself too).

    Roberta is NOT getting any help because she really doesn't think she has a problem.
    While she ADMITS she has a problem, she does not believe it.
    And until she does, and ONLY then, will the 'help' actually help her.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sweet Becca;
    The State works in mysterious ways...
    Hopefully God is paying attention too.

    Please do not feel sorry for me.
    (I am doing just fine feeling sorry for myself).
    hehehe

    But all kidding aside, I am not thinking that far ahead at this moment...
    I am more worried about getting through tomorrow afternoon- Imagining that she will somehow lie and be able to show those receipts and income and such.
    By her own admission, she told me she made $60-$100 a week.
    And I'd asked her then WHY THE HELL she was even working at that place then?
    Not sure if she told me this to make me feel bad for her- or if she told me that to show me why she hasn't bought him anything...
    But then what about even her time?

    XOXO
    Anne

    PS... I already knew you wouldn't ever lie or sugarcoat anything.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Here's Gabriel again-
    We had walked to the woods, and picked beans too.


    ~


    ~

    I mean you CAN have a picnic with green beans, can't you?

    ReplyDelete
  18. My dear, sweet friend....I don't know what to say nor where to start. I had to take a few minutes to get myself together after reading this. I've watched Master Gabriel grow up and I kinda feel like he's one of my own grandkids. I am so very sorry that this is happening.

    I know it had to be so very hard for you to let the state take this precious little man but in the long run, it's for the best. I'm not saying that he's not safe and all that being with you but they can give him the protection and keep his mother away from him. Hopefully when you get him back, the state will give your protection orders and everything that goes with it so that he can be and feel safe with you. And you can feel safe as well.

    I'm so worried about one thing you said...that he's not the same little boy that he was just a week ago. That scares the bejeezus outta me! That in itself is a HUGE red flag for me.

    I'm here for you as all of us are. Know that you are in my and Cee's prayers. Sending nothing but good thoughts and positive energy your way. When you are able, please give Master Gabriel a huge hug from me.

    God bless you all!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I, too, can tell all these things are taking a toll on Gabriel. That in and of itself is a damn sin on Roberta's part. Like I have always said, and heard it from your mind first, "Take yourself down as low as you want to go, but don't you DARE do it to your children."

    It was heartbreaking to hear him ask, "Where is my home?" so many times this past weekend. Even more heart wrenching was having to put him into that car; and then to sit there and see the trike left alone in the middle of the yard, and his favorite "vacooom ceaner" lying there. Never have those sights been so incredibly lonely for me. I am in tears just thinking about it.

    I know he is safe and I know this is what needs to be done so that Roberta is kept from continuing this horrendous act. It's just sad that this poor little boy feels the need to be scared when he wets his pull-up and feels the need to get into trouble to get our attention. That right there shows you exactly how he feels at home. He has no structure, no routine, and no positive reinforcements. Only punishments and having to tough things out until his mother wakes up after passing out.

    I believe that this hearing tomorrow will be good and will have the hopeful results we have wanted for that child. That he will once and for all be in better hands. I wouldn't wish this on any mother out there except for those who decide it is better to neglect their children to support their habits or any parent who hurts their child (physically, mentally or spiritually).

    He is a WONDERFUL little man! So smart too! He will now have the ability to grow those talents in an environment that he doesn't have to worry or be afraid in. I just hope there isn't too much damage done already.

    I love you very much and we will get through this. I will not stop fighting for him until I know he is safe and sound.

    ~CaseyAnne

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sweet Pam;
    It is here that the GIANT RED FLAG went up for me too.
    And knowing that I cannot 'cipher what is wrong just leaves me so damned impotent...
    Knowing that he stands a chance for getting help then is a HUGE incentive.

    I do KNOW it is all for the best too. And I promise not to conjur eup the negative images we have all seen on tv.


    While he IS safe with me, (protected and loved and fed and washed and warm); my hands are too tied when it comes to preserving this for him.
    If Mama decides to show up there is nothing I can do.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete

  21. Sweet Casey;
    I can add nothing more. You have said it all with love and tears.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  22. The very laws that are meant to serve and protect the innocent rarely do...why is this? I know how hard this all is and what a toll and price you pay for wanting to the right things...it's hard when we try our best amd we fall short of what should be...I'll be praying sweet Anne that all works out the way it should be

    ReplyDelete

  23. Sweet Toni;
    I really do not fall short, save for not being a Child Psychologist.
    Those laws?
    Gabriel is alright- (damaged somehow but alright too).
    I am not sure what took them so long. These complaints were filed in early July!
    And in the meantime, God only knows how this child may have suffered...

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  24. AWWWWWW man.. what a sad state of affairs.

    So are you going to go for custody of Master Gabe or will he be in the foster care system? I do realize it is a lot to take in a little fellow like him.

    I have never nor will I ever understand the brain and or heart of a person who does not nor can not put their child first.

    I am so sorry to hear all this.. My heart and prayers will be with all of you!

    hugs sweety

    beepluvsbart.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sweet Beep!
    It truly is SO effing sad.
    And as far as custody/adoption goes, only time will tell.
    We need to get through today yet.
    And with that, the word will go out to another married couple who truly love this child, and are vastly younger than I am.

    We have all, (YES, everyone that reads this), been through lots of crap in our lives, but the words you have written are so true too:
    "I have never nor will I ever understand the brain and or heart of a person who does not nor can not put their child first."

    It IS the mindset and the very heart of motherhood.
    (Or at least it should be).

    And about that- She has 3 sons...
    All are being cared for by others.
    Something is very wrong indeed.

    XOXO
    Anne

    bartluvsbeep.com

    ~

    ReplyDelete
  26. My heart just breaks~especially after reading CaseyFace's entry...seeing his little trike empty in the driveway. How many pictures have I seen of Master Gabriel riding that trike? Countless~~~all smiles and grins.

    I know this is quite possibly the best scenario for the little man. He needs structure, he needs warmth and caring, he needs protection. He needs to have a happy and healthy childhood dammit! The sad part for me is that I, like so many other women, wanted tons of children (and don't think for a moment that I don't love and cherish and bless the fact that I actually was able to have three wonderful, beautiful children~I just always thought I would be able to have as many as I wanted)~and on the other side of the coin there are women that pop out babies like there is no tomorrow thinking that those precious little beings are some how disposable.

    UGH~Maybe I've said a little too much. But know my sweet friend that my heart goes out to you, Master Gabriel and CaseyFace. I love you all dearly and so glad that you have become part of my 'extended' family ... hehehehe~and that includes the furkids too :) I pray for Master Gabriel that he is able to recover from all of this, and you too. I pray that Roberta wakes up some day and realizes that her addictions have taken away three beautiful children and that it's not too late for her as well.

    Sending you my love!
    Thers
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anne, Casey,
    There are so many words to describe people like you. Caring, Considerate, loving, beautiful.....etc....But for Master Gabriel there is only one term that fits. You are his guardian angels on earth. Imagine how much worse this would be if he did not feel the love you have given to him. If he did not have you rallying for his welfare. If noone heard his cries and questions. If he only had his mother....and was NEVER heard. ?????

    You both deserve a reward, and I am sure there is one in heaven waiting for you.
    Keep up the fight, endure this hell on earth. Gabriel will thank you with his smiles. I am thanking you now.

    I am praying, as I am sure everyone who knows the situation is also doing. I am certain you are surrounded with hugs, virtual and otherwise. I hope you are able to rest in that knowledge, even if it is just for enough time to recharge your batteries.

    ~God is in Control~

    May you both feel his blessings :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I can't think of one thing to add except *Hugs* Gabriel is very lucky to have people like you and Casey looking out for him.

    ReplyDelete
  29. First of all Sweet Thers, KNOW that I echo the sentiment of "family".
    You have been there for us, and how many times, from our Pincushion, to Gabriel, to even my migraines and panic attacks.

    Maybe I am kidding myself, but I really do believe as you do, and as many others have said, this IS the best thing for now.

    Hopefully the judge will also see and believe that.

    These babies are NOT disposable in any way shape or form. They are entrusted to their parents by God Himself...
    And wondering HOW these egg/sperm donors will chat their way out of that when their time comes to do so.

    Love to you too!

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  30. Master Gabriel says "Hi" to everyone!

    XOXO
    Me
    ~



    ~

    ReplyDelete
  31. Just one teeny tiny correction Sweet Beth...
    The phrasing above should be WE.
    We are all his guardian angels right now.

    Those above, and below, and yourself too, that have offered their friendship and their prayers, their love, their support, and all else through this trying time.

    I can only hope that this afternoon will be a better moment for Gabriel.

    Much love to you too.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  32. Sweet Cab;
    Where have you been?
    I have missed your warmth...

    And I thank you for your hugs too!

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hey Anne - things have been crazy with moves and consolidating stuff, but I'm back

    ReplyDelete
  34. Annie,

    This whole situation makes me so ffing mad! I know you'd love to raise him, but as you said it's not easy to raise a child at any age, but at our age it will be pretty tough. Despite that, I'm pretty sure what you'll do. Also, if you do get custody, wouldn't it be hard to keep Roberta away from him? And would that be the right thing to do? And if she does see him, how will her leaving and not taking him with her be explained to Gabriel?

    As long as there's a willing family member to raise her children, and her kids still think of her as their mommy, and call her mommy - why should she change her ways? In her demented mind I'm sure she feels she has the best of both worlds.

    I don't think any judge in their right mind would let Roberta have Gabriel back, at least not until she proves she can become clean and stay clean for no less than a year. You know me, I'm an eternal optimist, I still hope Roberta will come to realize what she's doing and choose her children over "good times". It could happen.

    Try not to feel sorry for yourself. You deserve a medal for acting in such a strong way. Most of us wouldn't have had the strength of character to have done what you did. Gabriel is so lucky to have you on his side, to watch out for him, and to give him more love than he's ever known.

    I'm so glad Casey is there to help you. Casey, please make your mom get some rest so she doesn't end up with a migraine.

    BIG HUGS for you and Casey!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Still waiting...

    (Boy, you sure do know how to get people to keep coming back to your pages!!)

    ReplyDelete

  36. Just go to that blag, and read the last three comments by me...

    Sorry.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  37. Don't you worry- I am way past mad about it.
    But am not sure exactly what that means either...

    Too late about the migraine; but at least I got a refill on my meds a while back...
    I don't think I am really feeling sorry for myself- Just more of a few doubts and all.
    Perhaps my Faith will be completely restored this afternoon...

    At one point, (granted to the best of my knowledge), Roberta was clean for a few years...
    So not sure if that clean test will be a good enough one for her.
    (But it does make me think about those flying pigs...).

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  38. Awww, I had a feeling... feel better sweetie

    ReplyDelete
  39. I was pretty barfy yesterday... But got some decent sleep on and off too.

    I took a pill about 3 this morning when I couldn't sleep and was seeing all of these bright lights flashing and flickering everywhere.
    If I could sleep through those i would have it made.

    I really am ok.
    Just worried about even getting to the damned courthouse is all.

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  40. Dearest Anne,
    I came on today to post a blog and wanted to stop through and say hi, I read your blog and it breaks my heart to see that your family is going through this. I am so glad that the State finally stepped in and are doing something about this situation with Roberta...I have four children and I cannot understand how a mother could do this to their children, it broke my heart to see your comment about how differently he acted in a weeks time, children are so sensitive..children are wonderful....I do hope everything works out and I am always here for you if ever needed...I am thinking about you and Casey...Keep me posted...

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have been down this road with my granddaughter and my daughter. Where I live my daughter had to complete a parent agreement, parent classes, alcohol and drug testing

    ReplyDelete
  42. Take the custody agreement that she signed with you to court and good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  43. wow...I am speechless....almost. I'm so very glad that Mr. Gabriel is safe and away from his destructive mother. I can only imagine the stress that is constantly on your shoulders and I pray that God will carry you when you are too tired to walk through it! Again, please know if I can ever do anything for you from down here in North Carolina I will be more than happy to help you!

    ReplyDelete
  44. been there done that my youngest daughter will not speak to me and has not in 6 years as I called CPS on her for same thing

    ReplyDelete
  45. I felt sick when you described how your Grandson looked when Casey brought he and his mother to your house. I am glad that your grandson is in a better situation now. I hope his mother realizes she has a problem and gets some help. I won't hold my breath however.

    Over the Labor Day weekend we had some drama here. I am experiencing a full house again, but I wish the circumstances that precipitated it, did not happen.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hello Master Gabriel! Can ya feel me giving you a big hug?

    ReplyDelete
  47. I'm a bit out of touch with Gabriel and all that is happening to you/him..but I am certain that things will work out. I will keep my fingers crossed. You are strong and brave to put your foot down towards you daughter. Someone needed too a long time ago...but you know it's just one of those things that finally causes one to take a stand once and for all...Good luck sweetheart...I know how you feel...I have a sister that is an alcoholic and gave up all of her kids. She is a mess and never will change her evil ways. No one thing can be blamed as she has chosen to stay this way.... I have cried/prayed and begged...all to no avail...

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am home.
    Roberta does not have access to Gabriel, save through me as the 'super' for her supervised visitation.
    I shall bring Gabriel to her when she is done working tomorrow.

    We all go back to court next Monday-
    ...Roberta never did call the lady back, or even let her know she was going to show up...

    But she did show up.

    And needs to meet with the intake worker on Friday then...
    ?????

    I promise to answer your comments soon; but I am very very tired, and need to rest for a while.
    Your thoughts prayers and friendship mean the whole world to me somedays.
    These past few days here were only 2 of those days.

    I love you.
    I thank you again.

    Love to all.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  49. My friend, go put your feet up and just rest. You can answer any questions once you've had a night's rest.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hey Anne,

    First of all tell Gabriel that on can have a root TOOTIN good picnic with just beans.

    Most importantly, know that I'll keep you, Gabriel, Casey, Roberta, the rest of the family and the situation as a whole in my prayers. I've seen and experienced miracles concerning custody, please know that God loves you all more than one can imagine and he has things under control.

    Peace & Love - Khoolaid

    ReplyDelete
  51. Dear Annie,
    it's a good sign that Roberta has supervised visits and that you need to be there with her... it means that the county is indeed taking things seriously and that they see you as an advocate and safe/responsible caretaker for mr. Gabe. You are right that Roberta won't get sober until she realizes, in her heart, that she has a problem. If losing three kids doesn't wake her up I don't know what will.
    You will always do the right thing Anne, no worries there.
    what's important now is to take care of yourself so that you can continue to be that support for Gabriel.
    love you and the edbdkc too,
    k

    ReplyDelete
  52. I figured someting like that was going on when I saw your other note....

    sad that it has come to this but I hope it will ultimately work out in a way that is best for Gabie....

    ReplyDelete
  53. It is sad that Gabe has to ask where his home is, I know this as I have been there. He is in a better place and around other kids which is great! I didnt mean a better place as in than with you but with Roberta! I am sorry i dont have much more to say other than I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, most of all Gabe! Lots of love to you!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Just back from reading all the comments....

    Sorry I haven't been around when you were going through all this but glad to hear it seems to be working out. Glad that Gabie has such a responsible "super". Does that make you a super super? Or a Superior super?

    HUGS to you and casey and Gabie... and big hard kick in the ass to that other one.....

    ReplyDelete
  55. I keep reading your description of Gabie when he came to you.... did they test him for drugs? Was it possible he got into something again? Or was it more that he had been dragged around "partying" and was not allwed to sleep/eat or maybe got all that and a contact high?

    ReplyDelete
  56. You take care of yourself too.. Mr Gabe needs you more than he even knows right now.

    Im so sorry you all are having to go through all this.. Most of all for Gabe, no child should have to watch his mother self destruct.


    All my luv to you and to Gabe!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Sweet Bonbon;
    Well I am happy you came on today!
    Children ARE wonderful!
    As you know, I too have 4 children... And even when the three eldest were younger and I would go out, drink and dance, they were ALWAYS taken care of, and I ALWAYS came home.
    And when I got st00pid drunk one night, is the very same night I quit drinking. And yes, that was years and years ago.

    I do not know what caused him to be so different in such a short period of time. I do not know what happened or if maybe I read too much into it all. But he was so sad, withdrawn and ever so quiet...
    She does not keep in touch unless she needs me to watch him, so I wouldn't know if he got swallowed by a whale either...

    I will keep everyone posted.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  58. Sweet LynnAnn;
    I am sorry you went through this all, though it makes me always feel a wee bit better to know I am not alone too.
    Maybe those classes are what the judge will ask her to do?
    I know the drug and alcohol testing should be a given, but sadly 'round these parts I don't think I ever heard of it happening...
    (Which is not to say it hasn't, just that I haven't heard of it)... I do live under a rock you know...

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  59. The court; (rather, the state) was given copies of all those papers when they came to pick Gabriel up on Monday afternoon.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  60. Sweet Yoyo!
    Methinks you have other things to worry of in the wake of your hurricane than worrying about here.
    (But I did almost giggle when you said you were "almost speechless")!

    She IS destructive- And like I told her, it is fine by me whatever she does~
    as long as she doesn't take Gabriel down with her.
    It is that thought alone that brings me the greatest worries...

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  61. Sweet JT;
    You are a kind and fair man. And I know now how very hard that was for you to do.

    Do you ever regret it, or did everything work out best for the child(ren).?
    I really would not care if she didn't speak to me, as long as Master Gabriel was well loved and well raised.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  62. Sweet Judy Judy Judy!
    Casey had described that to me. And then he got changed anyway before he came.
    I just can't get past this 'vision' either...
    He was SO tired. Hungry, but rather would have slept... and he sure did sleep...

    No. I am not holding my breath either...

    I will be to your blog shortly. I know I have to get out of this one soon...

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  63. So sweet!
    And as he says his prayers tonight, may he feel those hugs before he falls to sleep

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  64. Mama was a more fearful choice for Gabriel...



    Sweet Sheila;
    I chuckled at your response to "God won't give you more than you can handle"...

    I know of where your daughter was coming from. How silly that I tried to hide from my parents too. And yet, when I finally filed for divorce, my fathers response was only "What took you so long?"

    What you did wasn't walking away- it was simply "Letting go and letting God"

    I have lost a child; one that was ever so special to me...
    Reianna passed away almost two years ago now. She is my step daughter. (My daughter in almost every way, save for blood).
    With that I surely am not one to judge however you may have needed to numb that pain.

    But I have loved a few alcoholics, and do... and well understand the fears they had for you during that time.

    You have cited #4 and #5 as your own most humbling and meaningful steps. But I am thinking that if the true recovery/reversal rate is 10%, then maybe it is only those that have actually experienced # 12 that make it.
    NO MATTER HOW THEY GET THERE.

    You have also said that you befriended the girls that had baby after baby...
    I asked Roberta to look into getting her tubes tied, to ask at her 6 week check up... She never let me know about how that went. I did not ask either.

    Thank you for sharing so very much of your own life too.
    As I have said before, I do know how hard that is sometimes... But there is a reassurance somehow that someone has gone this way before.
    And I know there are probably plenty of people that have. I am just happy that a few are on my site to help me a bit too.

    And I am that scared, sad person that the courts are making a mint off of.
    And yes, I have closed the doors too.
    It took me a long time to do just that...

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  65. Sweet Bobbie;
    I am so sorry to hear of your sister. I learned, after my adoption search that I had lost a sister in 1976 to a heroin overdose. I also have a sister that has been everso successful at quitting drinking. I believe she has been sober for almost 30 years now. Proud of her for that too.

    Please do not feel out of touch... Lots can be learned about Gabriel if you know about his little brother, Sam.

    http://flintville.multiply.com/tag/big_sam

    I am not sure if I am strong or brave (but it's still nice that you said that)...
    I do know that I was just sick and tired of all this bullshit... And seeing how it has so adversely affected Gabriel just turned my heart- Part to stone, and part to flight for his sake.

    Those tears, prayers and pleas? I have done the very same for years with Roberta.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  66. Sweet Bobbie;
    I am so sorry to hear of your sister. I learned, after my adoption search that I had lost a sister in 1976 to a heroin overdose. I also have a sister that has been everso successful at quitting drinking. I believe she has been sober for almost 30 years now. Proud of her for that too.

    Please do not feel out of touch... Lots can be learned about Gabriel if you know about his little brother, Sam.

    http://flintville.multiply.com/tag/big_sam

    I am not sure if I am strong or brave (but it's still nice that you said that)...
    I do know that I was just sick and tired of all this bullshit... And seeing how it has so adversely affected Gabriel just turned my heart- Part to stone, and part to flight for his sake.

    Those tears, prayers and pleas? I have done the very same for years with Roberta.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  67. Sweet Pam;
    I did just that...
    Put my feet up and put my head down... and slept for a few hours...
    Felt good.
    (And feels like I should do it all over again too)!
    hehehe

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  68. Mr Khool;
    I shall tell Master Gabriel just that. Tomorrow afternoon.
    (I shall also bring him some fresh green beans too).

    Now, I have never seen the miracles you speak of concerning custody- Wisconsin should be so ashamed that they still believe that Mom is best.
    But maybe this experience will change that all for me.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  69. Sweet Kris;
    Not sure about the 'right thing' and all.
    And that's why I'd called you, you know...
    Not sure of what to do about it all.

    So today, I was actually a bit shocked when I was asked if that was OK with me!
    (You bet it was).
    Not sure how Berta felt about it, but...

    How does any parent manage to lose three children and not go into some sort of soul paralysis over it all?
    It would have killed me. First on the inside, then all over...

    And I do too take care of myself.
    ...Just this morning, having so much anxiety over this all, I'd taken all three dogs to the woods.
    Sometimes I've just got to walk, pound some pavement/field- (no triathlons here though- I'm too old).
    ;-)
    It was a "sign" that all three dogs came back with me too. (Milly never does, taking her own path through the woods. But today she stayed close).
    Nice, that.

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  70. then you are doing all you can do and the best you can do.. I pray that there is someone in our blinded system that see's the good and just how much a family that pulls together can do. Ya know.. I can't understand why after a mother has lost her 2nd child (giving them a chance) that their right of having children isn't taken away.. Most children who have come from a mother who suffers from addiction or mental issues..will probably spend their life in different foster homes. My youngest sister is adopted and even though my mom didn't really want anymore kids. she said when she saw Rachel's face and heard she would probably never be adopted since her father was mentally disabled (a blue baby at birth) and her mother was a paranoid schizophrenic who lived in a mental institution.. that people would be afraid or see her as damaged? Which is sooo far from the truth..but their loss and our gain. She is a year older than my daughter now. Hugs, Sheila

    PS. Thank you for your kind words and understanding.. I feel blessed to have met you here.. Hugs

    ReplyDelete

  71. Sweet Pea;
    Not sure what you mean by my other note...
    But am so glad you came by too.

    Hopefully this will work out for everyone, and that Gabriel will be happy, safe and everso loved.

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete

  72. My Sweet RubyBlue;
    I know what you meant silly girl...

    And you worry too much about not saying much...
    I think you have said it all just perfectly!

    Love to you all

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  73. hehehe
    Superior Super?

    That is sounding might close to Mother Superior to me.
    (And between you and I, I don't qualify)...

    sigh

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  74. No one thought to test him for anything. he was just sad and worn out so completely.
    (Am I being an ostrich again)?

    She hadn't come home the night before- She'd picked him up from day care, brought him home and told her ex she was 'going for a walk'

    I do not know HOW she picked him up. (She has no license or car).
    So much for walking....

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  75. Sweet Beep!

    I really am taking care... Just catching up on some sleep is all that I need to do now.

    " Most of all for Gabe, no child should have to watch his mother self destruct."

    Right?

    Love to you

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  76. Sheila;
    It is I who is blessed by everyone here.

    And as far as the legal system realizing how my family can pull together?
    You have said a mouthful... Suffice to say that you don't know the half of that yet.
    But you will.

    You ALL will.

    I promise.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  77. She has a bus pass for the city bus and children get to ride for free. The daycare is right on the bus route.

    I am sorry for everything going on, but hopefully it gets better from here on out.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Sweet Angel Marie;
    I know she has a bus pass. But they don't run at midnight.
    She (had) him in daycare from 4 til midnight.

    ?

    And please don't apologize. Ever.
    I am thinking (hoping) this will be that wake~up call for her...

    Love to all!

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  79. So maybe she picked him up earlier then?
    Is that what you mean?
    Sorry, that never crossed my mind...

    ReplyDelete
  80. I have no clue as to what was going on, I just know that it was a big deal that the daycare be on a bus route so that she would be able to pick him up and drop him off. I would assume she picked him up earlier, but really have no idea.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Anne,
    I do not drink as well, Back when I was younger and the kids were first born I did go out and enjoy myself, then as they got older, I just got too tired too quickly. Last year my father went into a coma and had 300 siezures in one day due to his alchoholism, he nearly died, his varicies in his throat had burst and he almost bled to death, I thought I was flying to Oklahoma to watch my father die. After three weeks he slowly came out of the coma and started doing better, although he now has COPD, and some brain damage and hearing loss, he is still alive. He does have sorocis of the liver and may not have much longer to live, but he has FINALLY stopped the drinking. I am so Proud of him, but it was that day, that I decided I would never drink again. I do not want my children to have to watch their mother going through that, its hard enough they have to watch their grandfather go through it.
    I have never had to deal with what you are going through with Gabriel, but if I were to ever be in your shoes, I would do that same thing. You are an angel to him and one day when he is older he will know it. When I was younger my mother treated me very poorly and so did my father...both very abusive, the one thing I am proud of, is the abuse stopped there and never followed me to my children...I would NEVER want them to go through what I went through, they are my life...Have a great Day....

    ReplyDelete
  82. Oh my goodness Anne! I am so sorry to hear all that is going and being new to your friends, I have no clue of some things. But as a mother of 5 kids I can't comphend how a mother could do this and treat a child this way. It breaks my heart to hear all of this. I am so glad he has you and Casey. It's just all sad. So have you gone to court yet? Are you going to try to get him? I am sorry I am confused by a little of this and what is going on. It's just all sad and I will say prayers for Gabe and your family.
    I hope you were able to get your Cherry Pepsi, I love that myself! LOL Sorry I am late at getting a reply here I don't think I even got it in my email you posted! Big hugs your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hi Anne,
    You know our crew, but I don't know if we ever told you that we are foster parents in Brown County - I don't think it ever came up. At the time we met, we were in the full swing of our adoption of our two "newest" boys and so were not able to foster. There are some really good foster homes out there, and some bad ones, like everywhere. Unfortunately we only hear about the bad ones - the good ones never make the news reports (not terribly exciting that you feed three meals a day, snuggle, read books, tell stories, go to school, sports, music classes, tuck little ones in bed, make sure they have clean clothes and on and on, and try to give them all the love and structure they need). I hope and pray that a good situation for Gabriel is in the works, though we all know the process can be, ummm, "broken". Our experiences have not been wonderful, and I don't mean with the children. I pray little Gabe has good social workers and a great foster family. Keep us posted.
    Christy and crew

    ReplyDelete
  84. Oh, Anne.... How heart breaking this must be... I'm sure all will end well and good will prevail. All of you will be in my thoughts and prayers... even your Roberta. I hope she will realize how she is destroying her own life and mend her ways soon... And I pray all the love and care that Gabriel receive from all of you will be enough to protect him from any trauma.

    Take good care & big hugs!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Oh Anne. I feel so bad that I have been absent in your time of need. You are so strong. I am so sorry to hear about Gabie baby. He is such a ray of sunshine in your blogs. I do hope Berta is seeing the error of her ways. Please do keep me informed. How is Gabriel doing now? I will try to get on here more often so that I don't miss this kind of thing again.

    I am so sorry Anne! Lots of love and many prayers for you.XOXOXOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
  86. Sweet Bonnie;
    I am sorry for what you have had to watch your father go through. Happy though that you do not subject your children to this existence either.

    And what you have described (minus the liver) actually sounds as though he had a stroke?

    Knowing when to quit, and I'm not talking about abstention either, just knowing that you canhandle two or three and then change to soda or water with lemon... Works for me.
    But falling down ugly drunk? There are no excuses to subject even adults to this kind of behavior, let alone young children.
    And even if one is a happy drunk, if they aren't waking up to hear their own babies? Then there is something awful wrong.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  87. Sweet Sheri;
    We went to court last Wednesday- and go back today.
    Actually my own presence is not required but I want to know exactly what is going on with him at almost any given point in time.
    (Nosy little wench, aren't I)?

    Don't you worry about having not a clue- I generally have no clue what is going on either...
    hehehe
    Maybe I should put a disclaimer about that on my home page...

    XOXO
    Anne

    (I'm late too with even responding. My apologies for that)...

    ReplyDelete

  88. Sweet Christi;

    I hope you got my note to you?
    Please let me know.

    Now as for the comment you wrte, Casey said she did too know that. Perhaps I forgot, or was not there for that part of a conversation?
    My apologies.

    XOXO
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

  89. Sweet Ruzie
    How kind you are!
    I hope she figures it out too.

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete
  90. holy crap, my damned head is killing me tonight...

    Sweet Darla

    Don't you be feeling sorry for anything.
    And I do promise to keep you all informed too. (If I don't write about it, I may just explode or something, so I write).
    And you know me, the good, the bad and the ugly- makes no never mind to me.
    The honesty does.

    Know too, that where ever my grandbabies are that they are all rays of sunshine in my life.

    XOXO
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  91. They most definitely are all rays of sunshine and you show this so well. You write all you want I am gonna try to keep up.

    Lots of love to you! XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete