[My] Life in Wisconsin

Somewhere To Go

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Miss Milly running home last summer
Where she always goes I still don't know...
(Must be somewhere very important).
.
.

Good Evening Everyone;
I want warmth- Like in the above picture.

Even the floorboards seem quieter tonight. The furnace is running- It is cold outside.
And sometimes that cold just permeates, and stays for a while.
I think that's how my bones feel right now.

We got back here maybe 2 hours ago. Punk so happy to see us. And always such a great welcome home.
The few times that I leave her here, one would think I was gone for months on end.
Such a warm and loving welcome though.

Punk sleeps now.
Curled up on that darn little squeak ball that she took from the entrance.
Her Mama Milly's little ball.

She didn't want her collar. ~Just that damned little ball.
She knows.

She ran out to the car when we got back. She ran all around it, sniffing-
Then she turned, looking toward the open kennel, and came back to me.
No place else to go. Not in the dark. Not in the cold.
She knows.
.
.
.
?
Picture 614

Miss Milly
Checking out the driveway last summer...
.
.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance...
Her bright eyes are intent; Her eager body quivers.
Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....                                     unknown


Yesterday Miss Milly went into heat. With the surge in her hormones, one can only guess that it made the tumor inside grow so swiftly as to force her uterus to prolapse.

Milly turned 13 - On Christmas Day.
She left Casey and I about 7:15 at the Animal E.R. in Green Bay.

She had somewhere very important to go you see.

And I know where she is and what she is doing too.
She waits now, "just this side of Heaven."
Patient as she always was.

I can only guess there are children and puppies where she is.
And maybe a little hideaway where she can escape every now and then.
A place that only herself and God know about

XOXO
Anne



Originally posted to my Y! 360, Wednesday February 4, 2009 - 10:57pm (CST)

110 comments:

  1. Anne....NO! Please tell me miss milly didn't die!

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  2. I am in tears right now. This is killing me. I know it must be for you too.

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  3. Pretty much.
    She was fine at 5, and by 6 had almost bled out.
    I had to bring her all the way to town to get help. A long ride to say the least.

    She always hated riding-
    Tonight she got right in the car. I talked to her all the way. (And then some).


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  4. Thank you
    Me and Little Punk are very sad too.

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  5. My sympathies for you all. Thanks to your blogs I feel as if I had known her. I know Punk is going to be grieving. Her depression will become obvious too. Gosh Anne.....this is so hard. Just the same as losing a member of the family.

    Did you bring her back home?

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  6. She is still there.
    She will be picked up tomorrow morning since I cannot bury her now.
    I am having her cremated and will pick up her urn next week.



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  7. Oh Anne.....those eyes...that face!

    I want to hug her so badly. Many tears for her have been shed by me alone.

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  8. After running off to have a bit of a cry it occurred to me that perhaps Miss Milly knew. This might explainwhy she suddenly became an inside dog. She wanted to spend more time with you guys.

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  9. I am so sorry to hear this! She will be missed

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  10. Really sorry to hear about Ms Milly. I know she was a really good friend to you. I know my Molly Jean is going to leave me one of these days.

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  11. Oh Anne!

    I am so very, very sorry! I have sat here and wept so I can only imagine how this is affecting you, Casey AND Punkie...

    I wish I could say more to make the hurt go away :(

    My love to you all...

    ((((((Anne))))))))
    ((((((Punkie))))))
    ((((((Casey)))))))

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  12. Andy says to tell you how sorry he is that you lost your friend.....

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  13. Oh Annie.... I'm so very sorry. Mattie & Emily are sorry & sad , too. They knew I was crying & sad & are sitting here with me.
    I'll be back... I can't type anymore!
    Love you dear Friend
    oxox

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  14. My sympathies Anne...I know you must be very upset and lonely. She was a beautiful dog in many
    ways, and a wonderful friend to you and Casey. Big hugs and blessings. xo

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  15. Oooohhhh Anne, I am so very sorry.

    Even knowing they are in Heaven doesn't fill that lonely void. I have faith that Punk will do everything to keep your spirits up.

    Please know, she was not only dear to your family, but to all of your friends who followed your life. Your friends looked forward to your pictures and stories of your family, including the four-legged kind. Milly will be missed by many more than she could ever imagine.

    ((((ANNE))))

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  16. This is so perfectly stated that I just had to copy it !
    I will miss Milly in my life as I know we all will.
    Take care Anne.
    Punky will be there for you and so will we
    oxox

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  17. I am so so sorry Anne, heart breaking I know, I agree oka2u said it beautifully what we all are thinking. xoxo

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  18. I am so sorry! Our four footed family members are so precious to us all. I am glad you could be with her at the end. We will keep you all in our prayers, it is always hard. Living on our farm, well, the kids are learning that it is a part of life (if you have more animals like we do, the odds are that more will die, just through sheer numbers), but it is so hard each and every time. Love to you all.
    Christy and crew

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  19. Anne, I havent blogged in a while, came on and saw this and my heart dropped. I am SO sorry for your loss. I have never lost a pet, but since I got my kitty, I have fallen in love and I cant imagine a day without my friend. (((HUGS)))) to you, punk and Casey....That Poem Rainbow Bridge made me Cry, my thoughts are with you always....

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  20. I'm so sorry to hear of Miss Milly's passing. I'm in tears, and she wasn't even my dog. I can imagine how much you're hurting dear Annie. But remember, she had a good life and was a lucky dog to have been loved so much. She was such a great companion to you, a good mom to Punk and so special to everyone who knew her. Sweet Miss Milly will be missed so very much.

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  21. She was the sweetest spunky dog. Hugs to you and Punk.

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  22. I had actually brought her inside so she could get used to being 'in' while Casey was having her transplant surgery.
    I didn't want her out and half freezing to death.
    But you might be right about why she made that transition so beautifully too.

    Glad she got to spend a few days basking in the sun.

    XOXO
    me

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  23. Know there really are no words. Just the love behind what is written.
    And THAT is what counts.

    Punk is asleep after rechecking everything.
    Then came and laid by my feet.
    Then to the doorway to the entrance.
    She is now on the couch.

    And I swear I just heard Miss Milly "talking".
    How odd.

    XOXO
    Me

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  24. Mattie and Emily know each and every pain you feel.
    As did Mama Milly too.

    XOXO
    Me

    Now go give them each a hug from me.

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  25. She really was a wonderful dog!
    A good friend. And a tried and true companion.
    (Even though she disappeared every now and then).
    hehehe

    XOXO
    Me

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  26. Sweet Heather;
    There is nothing that fills the void when our beloved animals must go on ahead.
    But such words of friendship from everyone truly helps.

    You are beautiful.
    Check out all the comments below yours.

    XOXO
    Me

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  27. Miss Milly is over at your page... reading your latest blog...

    XOXO
    me

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  28. Thank you Sweets;

    I think so too.

    XOXO
    Me

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  29. Everyone is as shocked as we were.
    Thank you Sweetie.

    XOXO
    me

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  30. It was a terrible ride into town, but after we got there is when she allowed her "shock" to set in.
    Having been raised on a dairy farm, I do know the circle of life. And you are right, "knowing" doesn't ever make it easier.
    But there is a sense of life and death.
    We love.
    We lose.
    We move ahead somehow, but at our own pace.

    It is only ONE of the reasons that every child should have a pet to love and care for.

    XOXO
    me

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  31. Our little furkids have such a way of weaseling themselves into our hearts and our very existence.

    "The Rainbow Bridge" always makes me cry.
    And to remember too. ALL of those memories are ever so precious to have and hold.

    XOXO
    Me

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  32. I can only hope she knew how much she was loved. And by so many 2~leggeds too!
    My Gentle Yellow.
    This 'hurt' is overwhelming today.

    XOXO
    Me

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  33. Thank you.
    We both send our love too!
    As does Miss Milly!

    XOXO
    me

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  34. Hugs to everyone. So sorry to hear this sad news from peachie. You are all in my heart.

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  35. Thank you so very much for your kind words.

    XOXO
    me

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  36. I only know too well what you're going through today having dug a hole for Ginger two weeks ago. Milly was always the first one I said hi to when I visited.

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  37. My Dear Sweet Jenny;
    Know only that Miss Milly and Ginger are BOTH in very good company, and in very good Hands.

    I know what healing wounds have been reopened for you today. And I am truly sorry for that.
    And I know how very much she loves you too!
    As do I.

    XOXO
    Mama D.

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  38. Oh no!! I am SO very sorry on the loss of Miss Milly. I know only too well how you must feel.

    My brother's furkid passed on a few weeks ago. She too had a rapidly growning tumor. One day she was fine and the next she started having seizures and they found a huge tumor in her belly.

    Poor Punk! How is she doing?

    Thoughts and prayers with you all in your time of grief.

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  39. Don't even question that - she knew!
    (Now I'm crying again - my heart goes out to you sweet Annie.)

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  40. Oh gosh Anne.....I'm so sad for you. Pets do become our children and they do understand, no matter how often non-pet folks try to tell us they don't....those of us who know and love animals know it to be so true. They know our schedules, they know when its snack time and bed time....and they know what we are saying when we talk together. They know when we need comforted when feeling sad and they know when we are happy and seem to smile with us. I know your baby knew those things with you and Casey. I'd even bet she held on long enough to know that you and Casey were going to be ok after Casey's surgery. She knew you'd both be ok without her.

    So anyway, my prayers to you and yours during this time of such sadness.

    Shari

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  41. Sometimes even the very best of friends need to disappear for a bit.

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  42. Getting the call from you last night that she had to go in, somehow I knew what was wrong. Greg had asked what happened and all I said was, "uterine prolapse". I don't know how I knew, but I did.

    I headed to the animal ER and waited. It seemed like forever. Every thought running through my brain about you and about Milly and what state she would arrive in.

    To my surprise she was seemingly cheerful and greeted me at the back door. Then I saw all the blood and knew time was running out. I parked the car and hastily ran inside.

    The nurse let me into the room and we spent our time talking to Miss Milly trying to calm her down as she shook with fear. Combined with the blood loss, I was happy when you got the nurse to give her a bit of something to relax her. Then she seemed at peace.

    We held her until the very end and even after promising that we would see her again. That this was only a temporary end...

    It was when I got home and had to explain everything all over to Greg that I lost it again. Loss like this just hits the core of everything you are.

    God bless you Milly and rest in playful peace until we meet again...

    I love you!!

    I love you too Mom, much much!
    ~Casey

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  43. O My God---SOB---I am just utterly speechless---(BIG HUGS)---Call me if you are up tonight--will watch at 4:09<-------that seems to be my arcadian wake-up time--God Bless you in this time of loss-
    I will light a candle in her name ----
    Geege
    wow

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  44. Oh my .. Im so sorry Rock.. I know how difficult it is to loose a good friend and I know she was that and much more to you and to Casey and to so many others Im sure.

    As I sit here with tears .. there are no words that come to mind.

    Im so very sorry.

    much much love and many hugs

    beepluvsrock.com

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  45. Oh Anne! I am so sorry. I am tearing up just thinking about it. I know you loved her so and I know she did as well. How are you and how is Punkie? Maybe now my little angel can play with your angel too. He never got to have a dog.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Lots of love- Darla

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  46. Dear Sweet Casey;
    What have we gone through? Do you sometimes get the feeling that all this bad stuff will never end?
    Me too.
    But I have Faith enough to know that it will. And so I can tell you that it will.

    You knew. I only knew that you would.

    A hard reality.
    When you left at 5, all was well. And to the best of our knowledge Miss Milly was in heat.
    By 6, your phone rang- and by 7 she was gone from us.

    How fast life can be taken away!

    Had I known that I would have had to beg for anything for her to be able to stop shaking, I would have given her my own Xanax. That was almost the worst of it for me, being there, and being told "hold on, I just have to put this in the computer."

    For you, it was waiting for us to get there.
    I drove as fast as I could, and was happy when Milly would poke her head up between the seats, and to be able to pet her as we came in.

    Yet she never cried out. NOT ONCE.
    As slowly she gave her life blood...
    As stoic in death, (and as proud); as she had been through all these years.

    Yet, even after all is said and done, after everything we have been through, I completely pity the people that have not known the love of a dog.

    You and I have known some great ones. I hope everybody somehow gets that same chance.

    I love you.
    Forevermorelonger.

    XOXO
    Mama D.



    ~

    ~

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  47. I know what a shock this entry is for most.
    But as I said to Casey, perhaps it is a lesson on how quickly life is over on Earth.

    Not sure if i will still be up then.

    And to thank you for that candle!

    XOXO
    me

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  48. Like I said somewhere above, there are no words to truly convey anything. Save for love and friendship.

    XOXO
    Me

    RockLuvsBeep.com

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  49. Sweet Darla,
    I truly believe that she is playing with your little guy!
    She absolutely adored all the babies here- and as they grew, she always made each one feel as though they were her most favorite!

    To know that she is able to continue to do that moves me completely.

    XOXO
    Me

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  50. OMG!!!! I'm soooo sorry I'm late reading this. My heart is breaking right now as I know yours is. I am at a loss for words! Please know that all are in my thoughts and prayers!

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  51. Ms Anne I'm in tears and have chills reading this right now...I am heart broken and shocked like the rest.

    To think of all that Ms Millie has faced with you and been thru with you....

    I always think about the time we had with our fur babies and how much we mean to them and them to us. Ms Millie I know will let you know she is around...there are no words that I can say right now...I know your pain....I have been here too...I'm so sorry Ms Anne...

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  52. I'm so sorry to hear this news.
    hugs to you all Xx

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  53. I am so sorry for your loss Anne, Casey and Punk.
    Hugs!

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  54. Oh Anne, I am soooo sorry to hear this. I am also wishing I had heard/read yesterday. Being belated to a blog like this feels almost like missing a funeral.
    I have had a cry over this and in telling Mark he teared up as well. Nothing I am sure in comparison to what you are feeling. We are all very sorry for your loss and I will miss sharing those Milly pictures and stories with the family. We send our love to you all and a great big hug to Punkie, for anyone to lose their mother is so very hard.

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  55. Again I don't know how I knew or how you knew that I would know... But it is one of those things... I know I've had a bit of a touch of psychic energy but I am reading more about how to develop that. Maybe it could prevent or help situations someday. Who knows?

    I do know that life is precious and can come and go in just minutes. I think back to before my surgery and the feeling like I had a dead-end coming up, well, poor choice of words, but so to speak... I can't imagine not appreciating every day of my life... Even the bad ones too...

    I know that Milly was very loved every day of her life, even when we were gone, Kelli took very good care of her. Milly also loved coming in and spending time with us even though she was scared to cross that slippery tile. She did that for us and we loved every minute of it!

    She had a wonderful life with us and now she is finding her own special hideaway over Rainbow Bridge!

    I love you too, MUCH MUCH!!!
    ~CaseyAnne

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  56. 4 GOOD DOGS
    Words and music by Scott Kirby, BMI Circus Animal Music

    I'VE NEVER BEEN OVERLY OPTOMISTIC
    MY BEER LOOKS HALF EMPTY, YOUR BEER LOOKS HALF FULL
    I TEND TO BE A BIT, PESSIMISTIC
    A FIELD FULL OF COWS, AND I’LL FIND THE BULL
    OLD MAN SAID BOY, YOU BETTER REMEMBER
    THE THINGS YOU CAN COUNT ON, YOU CAN COUNT ON ONE HAND
    A HEINZ 57 , A GOLDEN RETRIEVER,
    A BIG GERMAN SHEPHERD AND AN OLD BLACK LAB

    FOUR GOOD DOGS, IT’S ALL YOU CAN REALLY COUNT ON
    FOUR GOOD DOGS WILL GET YOU THROUGH YOUR
    PAIN AND YOUR STRIFE
    FOUR GOOD DOGS, IT’S ALL YOU CAN REALLY COUNT ON
    FOUR GOOD DOGS WILL GET YOU THROUGH YOUR LIFE

    ALONE AT A BAR, DOWN BY THE SEA
    AND IN WALKED THE SON OF ROBERT KENNEDY
    I SAID MAN YOU SURE SUFFERED SOME POWERFUL GRIEF
    YOU STILL MANAGE TO SMILE THOUGH THOSE BIG WHITE TEETH

    WELL YOU SAY I’M DONE, HEY YOU SAY I’M THROUGH
    HEY BABY I’M ONLY ON DOG NUMBER TWO
    THAT’S FINE, THAT’S COOL
    CUZ I DON’T WANT NO TWO DOG WOMAN LIKE YOU

    WHAT DID I DO ON MY SUMMER VACATION
    I SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN AND OUT OF INCARCERATION
    WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND DOWN
    WELL THEY THROW YOU IN JAIL IN YOUR OLD HOME TOWN

    WELL YOU SAY I’M OLD
    HEY YOU SAY I CAN’T SEE
    HEY BABY I'M ONLY ON MY DOG NUMBER THREE
    THAT’S FINE, THAT’S COOL
    I DON’T WANT NO THREE DOG WOMAN LIKE YOU

    FOUR GOOD DOGS, THEY’LL ALWAYS MEET YOU AT THE FRONT DOOR
    FOUR GOOD DOGS, BUT WILL YOUR KIDS AND WIFE...

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  57. Stopping your way by way of ohiochick and oka.
    I can tell she was well loved and will forever be missed!
    You did a great tribute to your loyal and dearest best friend.
    God bless you and all that have been saddened by your loss!

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  58. Yes, my heart breaks, not only for losing her but for those last two hours of her life. I imagine she was in pain and yet, so very good about it
    As always Sweetie, those thoughts and prayers mean the world.

    XOXO
    Me

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  59. Sweetie;
    Thank you for the call. I really enjoyed talking with you!

    I too have been through this damned heartbreak before.
    Still, life would not be the same, (nor would it be right), without the faith of a good dog. (Or two).
    Their friendship goes above and beyond... And so many times.

    XOXO
    Me


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  60. Thanm you for stopping by Sweetie, and for the hugs too.

    XOXO
    Anne

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  61. Hugs are wonderful and almost always more than appropriate and welcome too.
    Like right now. I thank you

    XOXO
    me

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  62. Dear Sweet Steph;
    (See my comment above). ;-)
    Sending my love to you, and returning your own hugs for more!

    XOXO
    me

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  63. Dear Beth;
    All comments are welcome, whether they are immediate or two years after. And you forget that I have lived your life (albeit a lifetime ago), with having 3 little kids... I never expect anyone to be online all the time, let alone a mama as dedicated as you are.

    That said, you certainly did not miss the funeral. Silly girl. I have not even gotten that little urn back yet.

    "Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep."
    I am sure that Miss Milly would convey that to us all if she could.

    There is Faith and comfort in those words, and those of The Rainbow Bridge too.

    And never forget: Pictures are forever.
    I am sure that I shall be posting many more of Mama Milly.

    XOXO
    Me

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  64. Dearest Casey;
    hehehe Not sure I would have chosen the "dead end" reference either... But like yourself, I saw no light at the end of that tunnel for a long time.
    Happy you got that light now! YOU are that precious!!!

    "Millzie~Don'ts~and Dosie~Don'ts~and~Dipsy~Dynzie~Daisies"... (Well you know how it goes).
    She was/IS loved. And I hate the fact that I know I could have done more with her each day. Yet, when I could not, she seemed to understand too.
    Dogs, Milly, was more understanding than most people I know...

    Love forevermorelonger.
    XOXO
    Mama D

    Oh and PS...
    Know that it is not a matter of 'developing' your psychic intuition.
    It is only a matter of getting it back.
    I believe we are all born with those abilities. Unfortunately our surroundings and other things sometimes squelch those capabilities within us.

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  65. Perfect, isn't it? I thank you Sweet Splat.

    XOXO
    me

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  66. I thank you for taking the time to stop by and to even comment!
    Your words and efforts mean the world; especially at a time like this.

    XOXO
    me

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  67. Miss Millie & a perpetual candle is lit for you & your sweet family in the Divine Mercy Chapel----One of my childhood friend's Dad passed into that same green pasture at 730 tonight--I blessed his body and about 10 minutes I whispered to him after many prayers--to go to Jesus--cux he had a cold beer there for him----God Bless----try & have good weekend--Tell Casey hi for me and give each tightly woven hugs--
    all the Love,
    Geege

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  68. Call my cell phone Sweetie;
    I am so sorry for your friends loss.

    XOXO
    Me

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  69. Miss (Mama) Milly... And friends!

    ~

    ~

    XOXO
    Me

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  70. Annie,

    I am so very sorry about Miss Milly.
    My heart dropped when I read this.
    I cried, and thought about poor little Punk.
    I know she is Missing her Momma.
    I know that you and Casey are grieving as well.
    It is very hard to lose a pet, as they come part of our family.
    I know when I saw "Lucky" Sebastian the kitty get hit
    by that car, I got a lump in my throat and cried,
    and he wasn't even my cat (at that point and time).
    I do however, know how it is to lose a pet of my own also.
    I am sending my deepest sympathies to all of you,
    and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Always know this, I love you all with all my heart.

    Love and hugs~ Susan XOXOXO

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  71. Dear Anne, I too am so sorry for your loss, it is to me just like loosing a family member when Buddy My dog had to be put down I cried for days and when Cleo died my heart broke. Our pets mean so much to us I think because they love us so completely and unconditionnaly, that the loss cuts deep into our hearts. Our thoughts are with you.

    LOve Deb

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  72. Hi My Sweet Anne,
    I'm sorry to here about your loss. I know how you feel. A friend at work gave me this and I would like to she it with you.

    MEMORIES
    My special friend
    My Heart is filled with memories of you
    A smile on my face as I stare into space
    I see you romping, jumping and having a good time
    Actually looking like you have a smile on your face
    Never knowing when I was down, you still came around
    A judge in court you'd never be, for you never judged me
    You were my Angel walking on all four
    And never stopped licking me while on the floor
    A tear on my face as I lay you in my special place
    My Heart forever, will never have an empty space


    I love you Anne,

    Little Lisa

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  73. I have been busy here lately and finally had time to sit and was just checking in on your blog to see how everything and everyone was and got the surprise of my life!!! Miss Milly is gone. Even though I didn't know her know her, just through your blogs, I enjoyed hearing stories and seeing pictures of her, punk, the whole family. The circle is broken now due to her absence and it saddens me so.
    I feel for you, punk, and casey. It is a hard thing when you lose a 4 legged loved one so close and dear to your hearts. I have had this happen to me a few times.
    All my love puppets I send to you all. Good memories to think about and share.

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  74. This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a Southern US town, between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church, and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church.  From top to bottom shows you the response and counter-response over time. 

    The Catholics are displaying a much better sense of humor!  You get the impression that the Presbyterians are actually taking this seriously and are getting a bit upset... 




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  75. Wow,Anne--had no idea this was a possiblilty---Hoping your Spring hopes eternal my friend from the North--Still cleaning the ole homestead and teaching art to the "public" non-Catholic youth these days thru a company round here called Woodlawn Arts Academy--Art funded by a private sector---It's a kindergarten group times 7---once a week--private lesson and still got the Veteran's mural in the fire--lack of organization and initiative has put that one on hold--money is also a factor--Tell Casey hey for me and will look for you on Facebook---pretty much most of my time is for Gary n the boys-BASEBALL--Mike is maybe gonna pitch this year(fingers & eyeballs crossed)--Love, Geege

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