Am looking for a few answers (and probably a hug or three)...
My back is as bad as it gets.
I am living with a 31 year old who most days looks at me like she is angry with me (still)? . And I made up my mind long ago, not to broach the Trainwreck issue with either of my oldest; so it's not going to happen- Either they come to fix what they began 2 and a half years ago, or they don't. (Kinda simple that way.
Oh Jenne does laugh too- thought I'd better qualify that so you do not misinterpret what follows.
And I do know how depressed she is, barely able to contain herself a lot of the time.
Aaron swears he has changed, and has bought an airline ticket to fly in on the 6th to Milwaukee. He told her that she would be going home with him and that he would be driving.
Of course she wants to be with her husband. That's the way it should be anyway.
Is it healthy? Absolutely not.
Have I said anything that could be misconstrued as advice? Ditto. She has not asked, and I have not offered.
She is at a counseling session right now- She said she needs to be hospitalized, but will wait and see what they advise.
Some damn mother I am.
Some damn birthday.
I can't even bend to get stuff off the floor, nor can I lug out the fricking vacuum. I can't stand my house.
Oh wait, I can't stand.
(Barely anyway).
And I saw an effing flea yesterday! How gross is that?
I can't fumigate with Isaiah anywhere near. He has that disease.
And it's probably not recommended for Jenne and a high risk pregnancy either.
Granted I only saw one-
But isn't that a lot like seeing one mouse? Only worse?
My effing tub doesn't drain, and most days I cannot bail the water out- Those days Jenne just doesn't get in the shower.
And I want to kick her in the ass for being so discompassionate to my back and my inability right now.
I barely get the wash done- Difficult to even get the wash out of the washer and into the dryer, but now she will do a load, and leave it and not say anything.
God I love having to redo wash. Not.
I am so much in pain that nothing is easy. But I make dinner, even though I have told her to get something out of the freezer in the mornings... Made some tater tot casserole last night, and it took me 3 times of having to sit and then go back to it.
Pissed and in pain is no way to go through life.
Casey comes out and helps where she can. But she is sick too. And how unfair to even expect that when she can barely keep up at her place.
She (KC) finally called a realtor yesterday to find out about the availability of duplexes on the reservation- God knows I am not selling my home just to get my st00pid effing back fixed.
And they are taking way too much time in Washington to get that medical bill passed.
I just want to cry... But won't start with that either.
One kid on the pity pot 24/7 is more than enough for me.
And Punk only hides when she cries. (Jenne that is)... Poor little pup.
What have I done?
...And how do I fooking fix it?
Thank you for any ideas you might have...
XOXO
Anne
PS
Then this morning, as I thought to do a blog, this comes on my page on Yahoo.
Guess you all have enough brain to figure out what is going on from the note...
(Oh, their daughter Cassie had a kidney transplant 2 weeks ago, and is battling with rejection issues at University of Wisconsin, Madison)
This is the note I wrote to Casey and Krisitn, (Master Gabriels Foster Mom)...
To: Kristin; Casey Gmail
Subject: Gabriels Mom- CONFLICT of INTEREST?
Something stinky Dearest Kristin,
But first of all to say I hope that Miss Cassie is doing well, and 'maybe' even home by now? Please give her (and yourself) a hug from me. Prayers always as you already know...
Oh and to let you know that I don't reply to your text msgs because they cost me for each one- Please do not feel offended by my "Scrooginess"...
Now the bad news...
I received 3 notifications on my page about Berta
This is her current address to the best of my knowledge.
(Above address is actually in the town of Wrightstown ).
Kind of a pricey home too from what I found online...
She apparently lives with a Susan Brickham, 52, (divorced from Bruce LaCombe in 1998),
Bruce has a record at the state that includes a child abuse restraining order, but I cannot get those case details.
He was brought to court by a Mary Cornell on those charges.
ANYWAY, ALL of Bertas charges pending with the state have been freakin' dismissed!
What in the hell is that all about???
('Scuse the cussing please, I am very angry). Know that if it was you or I, we would be serving time by now.
ALL of Roberta's fines are also mysteriously paid in full.
I also believe since there seems to be no court officials listed on this database that there could be a definite conflict of interest since this Susan Brickham works for the county!
She is a clerk in data control for HS!!!!
Here is what I found...
Brown County employees.
Name Last BRICKHAM
Name First SUSAN
Job Title CLERK IV / DATA CONTROL
Total Earnings $33,195.32
Department HS-FINANCIAL SERVICES
Year 2008
Hope that posts for you...
Please let me know what you think...
Love to all!
(And maybe an extra "Grandma Kiss" for Master Gabriel)!?
XOXO
Me
I don't know if contacting Rachel would be a good/bad thing- Hard (difficult if not impossible) for a newer worker to be investigating someone who has been around for a time...
I wish I knew exactly what to do- Am hoping that maybe you or your hubby would know...
Her reply... First off it does seem a little suspicious BUT she has not contacted BCHS & done any of her court orderd conditions in the Chips( are those erased also?) I talked to Gabe’s GAL on Tuesday & he doesn’t expect her to show up in court (just like last time). I would assume if she was working to reunify he would know (depends how much faith you have in system) She has been told what she needs to do & so that part confuses me as far as if this friend is so system savvy why is she not advising her to fight . Maybe she has given up? She still has a 30 day window after decision to contest . Because my mind obsesses with all the possibilities I try to focus on the facts & not the unknown (I never pick the right scenario anyway ) Let me know thanks Kristin
To: "'ANNE; Anna-Anna;'" <onthefarm@prodigy.net>
Date: Thursday, July 2, 2009, 9:01 AM
">Well here is our thinking ,
So not sure if any of this has a bearing on the TPR?
We have been given the gift of loving Gabe so far for 10 months and will continue to carry on as long as is necessary
Wish I was there, I'd help do what needed to be done.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs
Me
Oh how I understand the "kids living at home" thing. My son moved back in a year ago. He finally moved out and back to Texas about 2 weeks ago. But during that time, I was constantly cleaning up what should have remained "clean" for at least a day. I hate to deny them a roof over their heads but I never thought I would have to keep them around forever. Hopefully he will stay out in Texas and get his life together out there. At least he is finally working. There is NO work here.
ReplyDeleteAnd Anne...you know that one flea will result in thousands! At least put something on Punk to keep them off of feeding on her and making her miserable. Since Isaiah has allergies, you can get some sort of organic nematodes for the yard that will eat those fleas. Sounds gross, but there is a tiny critter that goes after them. And the best part...they only eat the fleas and not the humans or pets. Unless you are keeping fleas as pets! If so, then your flea circus will be short a few acrobats!
I'm still counting the days till some sort of help is approved for me to get my problems checked out too. I think they are more or less hoping most of us will kick the bucket first so they won't have to help us. Stay in bed and alternate the heat and the ice on the back. Not sure what else to tell you on that. It's only temporary but it does help a teeny tiny bit.
Hmmmm....the story on Berta is somewhat questionable. Makes you wonder how these things happen. Sounds like somebody owed somebody a favor and the favor is kicking in. You know...maybe it's one of those "who you know" situations...and Berta "knows" somebody.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing Sweetie
XOXO
Me
Thanks Sweet PeachieBaby!
ReplyDeleteOh I would have her clean up after herself, but do not wish to put my unborn grandchild in jeopardy either.
(What the heck is it about these kids that go to Texas anyway)? hehehe
She got home today and I had her at least carry her clean laundry upstairs.
I had a hard enough time getting the socks and underwear basket to the living room.
"If" Jenne leaves on Monday then I shall fumigate.
(And see I told you that was gross)!
Me, and the pets, shall evacuate for a few hours...
It gives me the heeby jeebys to have even seen one.
Jenne has seen none.
Punk scratched her left armpit once today.
Casey has seen none either.
IT WAS NOT MY IMAGINATION!
(At least I know of no other teeny tiny bug that jumps away like that fast)
Not sure about Berta, but I would hate to have her interrupt this all now. Not when Gabriel is so damned happy- Safe and secure.
I can't stay in bed- but I do recline- Anything else and I have these awful pains- Upright or layng flat.
XOXO
Me
PS
I have never heard of nematodes with orgasms
"Oh I would have her clean up after herself, but do not wish to put my unborn grandchild in jeopardy either."
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. Is Jenn a high risk pregnancy? That would be the only reason I could think of for not being able to clean up after herself. If she goes back to TX, there won't be anyone to clean up after her.
*scratches head*
Big hugs,
Usuns in KY
It is high risk Sweetie- But due to stress (and for no other reason that I am aware of). And upsetting her would only add to that stress.
ReplyDeleteHer husband is already upset that she was so sick in the beginning of the pregnancy- He had to come home and bitch about the dishes not being done and all.
And every once in a while he would even bitch about Isaiah still being in his pj's.
~Too bad. I don't think any kid ever died from being in his jammies all day long.
(But I can't/won't say these things either).
He is a "his way or the highway" sort of guy.
She doesn't see the mess in the bathroom- The vanity that I had a tough time keeping clean only with me here- and now I am twice daily cleaning that up too.
Isaiah is a great kid though- he is brilliant- and kind too. Kinda like Jenne was when she was his age.
And man, is he funny!
She (they) just left to bring Isaiah to his dads- Casey is coming ut and should be here shortly...
XOXO
me
My apologies to all, but I have to write this out, or I will lose my own little grip as they say.
ReplyDeleteSorry if I'm so very bitchy...
Oh....you have me laughing! I've never heard of nematodes with orgasms either but I like your way of saying it better! Hehehehehehe!
ReplyDeleteOdd how the younger generations don't SEE the messes they leave behind. Call me a stickler....but....I had my niece here last weekend and every time she went to the bathroom she left everything unorganized! I mean, the towel would be scrunched up on one end of the towel bar, the soap would be next to the sink instead of IN the soap dish, and the magazines left in the basket on the back of the toilet would be all over the place! Geez! At least put things back the way they were when you went in there is all I ask! Is that too much for a 19 year old to comprehend??
My house is no where near being a showcase home, but I am just funny about things being in their place. Just makes life easier. At least for me.
Anne,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, so sorry for all you are going through.
I don't know what to say. This has been a particularly hard day for me as well.
I will be praying extra hard for you. Please remember that I love you and it breaks my heart to know what you are going through.
Anne I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Which isnt bad enough but to have to care for another person almost 100% ...omg!
ReplyDeleteI know its not fun even if you feel good. I have son back home & Granddaughter 4-5 days out of the week. My house is a disaster. I refuse to clean up more than i mess! He's living here for cheap so let him do it! Ha! Like thats gonna happen !! He cleaned better when he was 15 !!
no comments just hugs
ReplyDeletelots of hugs.
((((((((((((((ANNE)))))))))))))))))) <---Gentle hug, so as not to hurt your back more :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I know she is your daughter but this angers me... High risk pregnancy or not, she still should be able to HELP keep the house straightened up. God knows I did laundry, housework AND worked 40 hours a week when I was preggy and I had pre-eclampsia...
I do not know the details of what happened between you and her but maybe you should say something to her. Talk to her... Tell her you want to talk about it, not argue. Arguing doesn't solve anything anyway; it just makes both sides more upset...
As for the flea you seen, can't you have a 'Big Day Outside' and bomb? Everyone stays outside until the bomb is clear (we had to do that once in TX, the inlaws had SIX dogs :| ) Cookout, have a cooler full of ice and drinks and make a day of it outside...
Sorry that I kinda blogged my comment :|
Know that I love you lots~n~lots!
Slurkie :-)
hehehe I thought you would like that!
ReplyDeleteI agree too about stuff being where it should be- I never did get my back bedroom organized to get my bed downstairs- Sorry for that now- It's my "junk" room, and I know we all have those...
BUT, sure would like a little help, even with that.
Her cosmetics are all over- and my vanity is never clear for MY stuff so I can reach it all and not have to turn around or bend to the drawers.
And the wasted toothpaste in the sink has always bugged me. I tried t make a joke of it too, telling her there was a caterpillar in my sink- She wiped it out. Only that once though-
My generally dirty faucet is covered in toothbrush spit- Not mine BTW.
And as far as the fur being in its place. It belongs on the dog and the cat, doesn't it?
And if it should fall off then someone has to pick it up.
But it seems to be invisible to everyone but me.
I do dishes when I can stand to.
She did them once, and helped 2 other times.
XOXO
Me
Sweet BethieBaby!
ReplyDeleteYou are and have always been ever so good for my sanity too!
I know what you are up against now- and how to order your own life without having to worry about my penny ante problems-
But I thought if I didn't include you- well THAT would have been wrong also.
Kiss those children for me- (And please talk to them about what they see out of place).
Tell 'em Granny Annie says so.
XOXO
me
Sweet Bug;
ReplyDeleteIf my back wasn't a problem I would have it all under control. er, I think...
But I feel so guilty sitting around and just hurting.
More guilty for Punk as I cannot even throw her damned balls, let alone go for a walk. Although she has taken her twice to the woods since she's been here, and that's something anyway.
XOXO
Me
PS
The reason these kids of ours cleaned better way back then is because we told them to do it.
And we don't do that now because they are supposed to be grown ups, and do for themselves.
Wth did I miss?
Or is it just easier to slip back into "Mama will take care of it" ???
.
ReplyDeleteSweet Pea-
To love ya for the ugs- Wish you would have commented too.
See how selfish I am????
XOXO
Mama D
Sweet SlurkieBaby!
ReplyDeletehehehe Yes, she is my daughter, and yes, I am angry too-
No apologies necessary. Ever.
I wasn't ever sick when I was pregnant- (Luckier than most I suppose)! hehehe
And I did many things that would scare a lot of people- Baling hay, and changing oil to name just two...
If I have a "big day" outside, where will I pee/poo?
I am just going to fumigate and go up north one of these days, (after Caseys Minnesota testing, and after Gabriels hearing).
Punk will go with me, the cat will have to fend for himself.
Jenne will have to acommodate this as well if she decides to stay in Wisconsin.
XOXO
me
PS
I happen to love when anyone blogs in my comments!
ReplyDeleteThat was supposed to say Hugs!
hehehe
And sorry I said that too- I do know how dang busy you are.
XOXO
me
not at all selfish...
ReplyDeleteI was too tired to think up logical things.
ugs are free. so are hugs..
thoughts, sometimes don't come easy or free....
xoxoxox
pea
no apologies needed at all.... about anything.
ReplyDeleteI already giggled at the ugs...
giggling again.
xoxoxo
hugs.
ReplyDeleteyou have a HUGE heart.
I hope some day your sisters realize how very very fortunate they are to have you for a sister and how stupid they are for turning their backs on you. I said that or something similar when you went to get her. you put your life on the line and financed her escape when while you were near deaths door she couldn't be bothered to even call or spend 42 cents on a damn card.
I hope for her sake and the baby's sake that he HAS in fact changed. Sadly in my heart I doubt it. Like you, I find that I leopard that wears stripes but demands you leap into its mouth is no less a leopard.
Make her sign an IOU and agree to payments up front with a set schedule not "eventually" but x amount each month. Sad but if you don't, I fear you will never see that rent money again.
XOXOXO
Love you sis.
Good advice there Lady. I fear our Sweet Casey won't see the money anyway even if an IOU is signed but the attempt can be made. It seems that Casey got a dose of her Mother's big heart. It looks real good on both of them. If we had more like them, we'd have less trouble in this world.
ReplyDeleteI had a sister that thought the world revolved around her. She killed herself with drugs and left two sons to fend for themselves because their father is a drug addled piece of shite. She was 33. Missed seeing her first grand-daughter.
ReplyDeleteamen to that.
ReplyDeleteand you are right it probably won't help but then againit gives her a leg to stand on in small claims should she ever need to go there.
I have one of those too. Fortunately, she and her equally selfish hubby never procreated.
ReplyDeletesad to be happy about that/
People think I'm coldhearted when I say that she has been gone 2 years and I haven't cried. I cried a long time ago for the baby sister I lost. The woman that died two years ago only looked like my baby sister.
ReplyDeleteI came by yesterday and as I got to the bottom of your blog I saw what time it was and that I was about to be late getting to work (worked 2 - 8 hour shifts yesterday!) so I ran out of time to leave a comment. But I wish I had at least left you a HUG so you knew I was here.
ReplyDeleteNow that you know that Jenne and Isaiah are leaving soon this will probably take a little of the pressure off, and you can enjoy your last few days with them.
As far as pity goes, I'll give you this instead. You have so many things in your life I wish I had, and as far as I know there's no way to feel pity and envy at the same time.
I hope your back feels better soon.
I hear that. I cried awhile back for the sister I once had. I don't cry for her anymore. This one is a mere shell of the one I had.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that your back is still giving you such probs and I hope you soon get some help and relief..
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are dealing with alot more then a bad back also and I think its time for someone to start picking up the slack and helping out more ..
I know they won't be there for too much longer and I know that will be hard in its own but you cannot be expected to do everything for them , most specially with your back like it is ..
I hope things work out and don't worry about anything , we all gotta vent and let it out at times ..
Take care and big hugs to you
First, my selfish side...
ReplyDeleteMy back is a big honking piece of poo.
Blog soon.
Jenne left very early this morning - Was having breakfast with z and then on to Milw to pick up her husband.
She called from Chicago about 2 ish and said they were on their way home.
(I'd asked he rto call and let me know if I should take anything out of the freezer for dinner. (She was planning on coming back up so Aaron could meet eric- z's squeeze).
Not sure what happened there. Don't know, and really don't care- except that Isaiah spent last night at his dads, and I thought I would be seeing him at least for today.
She left lots of stuff here, telling me just to sell it in the rummage sale. wth?
Suffice to say I am going to practice saying "no" from now on.
(Please remind me in no uncertain terms if I should ever begin to waver from that).
Yes. For those that may not understand, I love ALL of my daughters.
No. I cannot live with the eldest 3.
(And Casey would probably never want to live with me)...
hehehe
Love to all.
Time to blog.
Be back as quick as my computer will upload a million pictures...
XOXO
me
And to let you know that you ALL rock.
ReplyDelete(And ARE my rocks)!
I thank you all for all of your kind and understanding words.
Mostly for your special friendships!
We will be leaving tomorrow for Minnesota...
Wish my back wasn't a piece of poo and that I could get all my cleaning done before I leave.
Such is not the case.
Oh well.
I thank you all for your love.
XOXO
Me
I bet she would if she had to.....
ReplyDeletedon't forget to watch my video... (you said to remind you.)
ReplyDeleteDamnitall... I'm sorry that Jenne just took off like that... More sorry that you didn't get to tell Isaiah bye. I would bet you a dollar that she had planned on leaving like that from the time she found out that Aaron was flying to Milwaukee. She didn't want to risk bringing him home and having someone try to talk her out of leaving with him...
ReplyDeleteI WOULD sell all the stuff she left... And to think you spent money on material to make maternity clothes FOR HER... I'm sorry but that is just selfish and rude...
Have safe travels (and maybe less painful too?) on your way to MN...
Oh well...
ReplyDeleteAbout Casey -and her sisters- Pea, they would all live with me if they had to.
I don't know, ever, what to expect from these two eldest-
But I do know that I am usually not surprised anymore either.
Yeah, I spent a lot of money on fabric and patterns etc. (A fool and his money).
But that does not negate the fact that she still needs the clothes.
I would not have tried to talk them out of reconciling-
But then again, had Aaron opened his mouth... well, he knows well enough when I might have plenty to say.
...and we all know that the truth sometimes is not pleasant.
XOXO
Me
ReplyDeleteSee the trainwreck entries...
I should have reread them myself.
(But that would not have been fair to Isaiah either).
ReplyDeleteHang on- I have to edit them (trainwreck) to include some of you...
But she knows that you would be able to tell if he was spouting BS or not AND that you would have called him on it! She is looking at things through rose colored glasses... I dunno why I am telling you this, if anyone knows it, it would be you... I'm sorry :(
ReplyDelete*steps off box, sits down & shuts her mouth*
ReplyDeleteI hope I got all of you.
If not, please let me know...
XOXO
me
ReplyDeleteApologize for nothing...
Not on my blog anyway.
And never ever shut up.
ReplyDeleteOK no new blog tonight...
My computersaurus is slower than molasses in January...
XOXO
me
Apparently I am slow and confused... What exactly am I looking for??
ReplyDeleteCheck to see if everyone is on the "trainwreck" tag is all.
ReplyDeleteI am so tired...
Sorry
XOXO
me
Don't be sorry AND please get some rest...
ReplyDeleteI'm not having the best day and am kinda slow on things 'clicking'.
But I love ya!
I clicked on the 'trainwreck' tag on your top page and came up with 2 entries...
ReplyDeleteThere are 5 entries...
ReplyDeleteCheck again Slurks, I missed you- And now added ya~!
HUGS!...I do think that if a certian someone cant heat up a tv dinner she just doesnt eat...and yes this from someone who knows all about high risk pregnancy...you can use a microwave....Anne just stop and take care of yourself....as for Berta you can't change what will or wont happen in court so wait till it does..no borrowing trouble! I love you! Get well!
ReplyDeleteand ps if she doesnt shower too bad.... either hose her off or clip your nose. NO bailing water out with a bad back.....if my mom was doing that Id kick her arss!
ReplyDeleteSweet Becca;
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I had to go through my entries because I had missed your name.
Stop changing it already. (I get so dang sorry cornf00sed ya know). hehehe
I didn't have any TV dinners- But I do have a full freezer, and all she was asked to do was take something out every day. She did this never.
You are absolutely right about Roberta too-
I can only hope and pray that the judge will see through it if she does show up.
Love to you too!
XOXO
Me
It hurt that I saw very little compassion for when I couldn't even move. But I don't see any, save for Punk, when I am here alone anyway.
ReplyDeleteThey showered on Sunday. Isaiah bailed the water. Jenne and I plunged- Herself in the back entrance, and me doing the tub.
(Those drains are connected somehow, and neither drain worth a damn).
She 'had' to bail once though- I hadn't done so after I was through, and they were getting in the shower.
Casey yells at me from time to time, but really isn't in any better shape than I am either.
Poor kid.
We will learn lots tomorrow at her appointment.
XOXO
me
Well.. being a mom I do know what its like to watch your children basically stick their head up that dark and stinky place and not know how to tell them to do different when they are not asking for advice.
ReplyDeleteNow hearing that someone is not helping around the place and knowing you are in pain.. makes me feel that maybe the best thing is for her to move on back with the hubby. It makes me a little frustrated to hear that when she needed you.. you stepped up for her and now.. well you know.
No, dont sell the house to get free medical.. I honestly dont believe we will ever get an affordable medical, they dont seem to really have a plan.. or at least they dont spell it out.
I think I have a plan that would work.. much better than the trillions they are planning that wont even cover all who need.
My plan..
take that trillion dollars they are discussing.. and put it into the medicaid and medicare systems. Then allow folks to buy in to the medicaid or medicare (depending on age) at a sliding scale depending on income. Now that still doesnt cover everyone because sometimes that sliding scale doesnt always work but for those folks...
take some of that money and invest in free clinics. Now to man those clinics offer scholarship programs much like that of the military. For every year of college.. you promise to work a year in a free clinic, with a paycheck from Uncle Sam. I think this would allow many to become doctors that frankly would not have the option otherwise. It could be worked to cover nurses, xray techs and any other medical profession that requires years of a college education. No they would not make as much as private practice for awhile.. but it sure would be a learning experience for all involved.
As to access to a free clinic.. everyone can get to a Walmart.. put it within blocks of a walmart. If the lines are too long in the larger cities.. open another clinic. If there are elderly who still dont have the ability to get to the clinics.. remember there are many community services that could transport those who would not have the transportation.
As to catastrophic illnesses. then the doctor at the free clinic has an option to be able to bypass certain bureaucratic bs and get the person into medicaid or at least a way to bypass the expense of specialized doctors by way of referrals.
For those that can afford it.. 10 or 20 dollar copay at the clinics..to help with expenses.
But as it stands now.. I dont believe they will ever really propose a medical coverage plan put out by the government that will work. The government needs to stay out of the doctors offices and out of the board rooms of big businesses.
Just my opinion.. and you know what they say about those.
Big hugs sweety!