Peek-A-Punk!
Hi All;
I wrote this more than a few days ago;- just wanting to {somehow}keep in touch and all.
Same old same old going on up here- I am getting more and more depressed- and finding pain that I didn't know I even had possessed- from way deep within.
...and just when you think things can't get any worse... yeah right.
That I can't stand me 1/2 the time is putting it mildly- Way mild-
Still, from the bottom of my heart I do hope all is well with everyone else.
Good Morning All.
Sweet Polly- I got your note a few days back, and have been pretty awful these days - - -
I hope you are hanging in there. I will try to call you at some point
Mr. Lester, I saw your note on my top page- Hope you don't mind me giggling at your temps too.
I am sure everyone will *not* be surprised when I say my computer is out of whack, (What is whack?
It has taken me an hour to even get to this page--- If anyone has sent me anything I will be back this afternoon... So if anyone left anything I hope to be able to reply better by then.
Have 2 appointments today- one is at 9:30, the next at 2:30 I recall.
Will have to come home (if I make it that long hehehe), and wrestle with this machine later.
More and more (and then even rain) more rain and thunderboomers too. (Me no likey)
I have been having one heck of a time just to sit- let alone type with these damned fingers of mine- Wonder how long it will take me to take a fooking shower? Hmmm...
That said I had best get in there and find out!
My love to all;
XOXO
Me
hugs my dear friend :)
ReplyDeleteHi Anna, thanks for taking the time to pop in and let us know how you are doing. I am sorry you are still hurting, I wish the doctors could take away your pain and make you all better! {{hugs}} Hang in there sweetie!
ReplyDelete:) I love the Peek a Punk picture! that is so cute!
ReplyDeleteHugs.....
ReplyDeletelove you.
OXOXOXOX
It's SO great to hear from you! I'm so sorry about the pain. I've got it so bad, I feel like throwing up. No new meds until I find a doctor, mine has resigned. sending a letter of lies to my provider's network. I saved all the evidence to clear my record, but O wow, I'm so fatigued all the time, I don't know how I'll do it.
ReplyDeletePunk has such a sweet face! Animals can be such a comfort...but talk about "That I can't stand me 1/2 the time is putting it mildly- " I was starting a blog about how much I HATE myself, & just writing it was so tiring, I gave up. But I'm getting so mean, & I yelled (for the first time in my life) at someone I love more than anything in the world...Smilja...I really hurt her feelings so much she left the room. When she came back & touched my leg I ignored her. Then she went to the farthest room from me. Not sulking, just hurt. She's so fragile & sensitive. What's happening to me?
Someone phoned, & she came back to me. She's just a little over five pounds now, & I held her in my lap. I was feeling so guilty I wanted to cry. I'll never forgive myself. I was thinking/talking about how...once you hurt someone, you really can never take it back. Even if they forgive you, it happened, the hurt was there...& as I was talking he just plain interrupted me with, "It's raining! F*** it, it's raining!" I was shocked & then I was angry.
I couldn't speak for a moment. He said, "What's wrong now? " (Emphasis on "now!") I told him he's an insensitive s.o.b. to interrupt when I'm having an emotional crisis, & I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF IT'S RAINING! So, my yelling at him scared her off again. Is that what being in pain 24/7 does to a person after awhile? Is this at all the way you are, or are you stronger than I am?
Well...the damned wheelchair was finally delivered, but no one to assist me yet, so I can't go to the lab or...if I could get into & out of the elevator, it's all downhill. Maybe I could roll down the sidewalk & into the lake, it's not too far. Now I feel guilty for babbling, when it's so good to hear from you again, I'm just a rotten person. I do think of you often, most fondly...always hoping you're better! Okay. BIG HUGS to you, sweetie!! ♥
I know the pain and depressions taking over life too well...so hang in there and do what you can and don't over do yourself.
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Anne,
ReplyDeleteHUG, HUG, HUG.
I love you.
oxox,
foreveryoursnotball
I wish , hope and pray that you feel better soon Sweet Annie.....I certainly can relate to the depression of getting sick.......then sicker, as you know. my thoughts are with you my friend, hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi Mommy!
ReplyDeleteThat top picture of Punkie is so incredibly cute!!! Course, she is almost always cute!
I’m keeping up the prayers that this gets much better for you very soon… Despite what the doctors say, no one can ever know for sure that something is “incurable”. Only the Big Guy upstairs knows for sure, and you can’t lose hope that things could turn around for the better… It’s hard, oh boy is it so hard to do, but I can guarantee that it is so worth it… As the saying goes, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’ll usually be right”.
Know also that the depression is completely “normal”. I don’t know a single person who has had to deal with constant, chronic pain, who didn’t get depressed. Illness takes its toll on the body, mind and soul. Sure, there is tons of physical pain, but with it is also mental exhaustion and “faith fatigue”… It’s exactly like being on an emotional roller coaster; you find that in the up-swings you feel like you can take on the world and not even break a sweat, yet in the valleys between, you feel so helpless/hopeless and just pray over and over again that the ride will stop so you can get the hell off of it…
Speaking of what “whack” is, I’ve got another question for you… A person can be overwhelmed, and a person can be underwhelmed, but is one ever just “whelmed”??? :D
Speaking of thunder, I just heard a very low rumble about 15 min ago. It was the kind that you can slightly feel under your feet on the floor. I was amazed by the fact that it sustained itself for quite some time before quieting down. I was thinking it was the longest roll of thunder I’d ever heard! Then, I realized that it wasn’t thunder after all, but a low-flying airplane heading in for a landing… Silly me… You’d think I wouldn’t even hear them anymore since moving by the airport, but I do from time to time…
Greg and I will be heading out shortly for his sister’s graduation party. I’m quite nervous as I’ll be meeting both of his sisters for the very first time! I’ve heard a lot about them, but have never met them… It’s like meeting the family for the very first time, anxiously worrying about whether or not they’ll accept me… He says I’ve got nothing to worry about, and since I trust him, I’ll try not to worry too much! :D
I shall keep up the prayers for you wonderful lady!!! I hope your day gets much better and that you’re able to even nap!
Love you MUCH MUCH!
~CaseyAnne
And as one of your two previously "incurable" kids.... she is in a position to know.
ReplyDeleteDearest Annie, I know about being mean when you don't feel good and so does JC -- just ask him. He's a good person and I do feel bad when I take things out on him, but he understands. He won't admit it, but I can tell I sometimes get on his nerves because I'm so mean when I don't feel good.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time taking a shower too, I don't have the strength or breath to take a shower everyday like I used to do.
Punk is really cute, I'd be lost without my two nutty little dogs!
A little poem I wrote for you:
Is your PC out of whack?
Then get yourself a Mac!
Take care of yourself, I hope you feel better soon. Hugs, Sharon
P.S. Scootch, being in pain 24/7 is not something many people could handle. Smilja loves you, she will forget you yelled at her. How do you pronounce Smilja? I'm glad you finally got your wheelchair. Don't roll down the sidewalk into the lake, because just like me you won't have the strength to dry it off when you're pulled out of the lake. Just a little levity to try to make you smile -- Hugs to you from me.
Anne, I regret that I apparently haven't been on your page for so long, I wasn't up to date. I knew you had problems with your back, but things sound much worse. I won't ask you a bucket of questions~you mentioned your damned fingers. On that~~perhaps you could get a voice activated whatever it's called~~ and then all you'd have to do is edit. I've heard they're not perfect.
ReplyDeleteYou have loving family and friends. I'm sure that must be of great help. Think of the people who don't, no~that would only make you more depressed. Keep the hope. My very best wishes to you.
Try to stop feeling guilty so often? Seems to me the "It's raining! F*** it, it's raining!" guy should feel guilty about his priorities.
ReplyDeleteSend me a PM at any time; it doesn't look like the folks here know you, as you weren't even referred to by anyone but Sharlee~and I think that was extra thoughtful of her, when she has problems, too.
You do know that many of us really love you for all your beautiful and humorous contributions, especially on NJP, the group YOU created for us, and for just being you!
Hi...I just saw you were here, Sigurd. Then I saw Sharon, too. How sweet of you both. This means a lot to me. ♥
ReplyDeleteYou did make me smile! I could just see it, getting lake-dragged. I wonder if there's a seat belt on the wheelchair? :) It's folded & no point in even trying to open it until I get help. If I tied balloons to it...& just got in the shallow part, wouldn't it look funny? Just balloons & little bubbles (if I had my portable oxygen)!
ReplyDeleteSmilja is like Lucija (the easy way). Pronounce the "j" like a "y"...very softly.
Hugs back atcha! ♥ ((Sharon)) ♥
I am going to post some thing in a few days that may help your pain Anna OK, I promise it will. Please let me know where and what pain you have OK, I wish you well so much Anna
ReplyDeleteOh and by the way we love our Metric System Anna :-) you are behind in that area my dear friend
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_system ;-)
Thanks, Lurchie.
ReplyDeleteI like that idea of tying balloons on your wheelchair and making little bubbles in the shallow part of the lake.
ReplyDeleteIs your wheelchair manual or electric? Mine is manual, I'd rather have an electric one so I wouldn't have to depend on JC, but manual is better than nothing. I could get around if I had to, but sometimes I'd be pretty slow moving.
Thanks for telling me how to pronounce Lucija and Smilja. xxoo
I feel for you Anne...literally. Both with your aches and pains and with that computer. My computer is 5 years old and is filled nearly to capacity in its memory. And just like me, its taking longer and longer every day just to do those simple tasks that use to take it only seconds to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteHope you begin to perk up and feel better soon. Life is difficult enough on our good days but when you throw pain into it all we just want that crappy day to be over with.
*hugs*
ReplyDelete