DEATH BY RECLAST.

http://www.inspire.com/groups/national-osteoporosis-foundation/discussion/death-by-reclast-janets-story-1/
National Osteoporosis Foundation Support Community - Inspire
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Hi everyone, and thank you for doing the click above-

This is the drug I had been given in March. I am due for another infusion of the same next March...
I don't think I will be having it. It seems as though, perhaps, I have lucked out; by bypassing these awful side effects- especially those that cause death!

After reading many stories, (not all as sad, yet, as this one), I am thinking that perhaps I did not do my necessary homework as well as I should have.
Shame, shame, SHAME on me.

As I replied to my letter, "I have a dentist appointment tomorrow- A referral. Casey has written and said she would come out early- Having her here should calm me down a bit. I have NO idea what they will think to do with my mouth.
I saw an ad on the TV, late-night, a while back- and it was for some device that fits over your existing teeth. I will ask them about that. I just hope they don't think they will be pulling any teeth. That is *not* going to happen.
And I do realize the %'s would be in my favor. (Then again, I think about how my luck goes). Not sure I would ever care to take the risk.
Maybe teeth are overrated?" (But heck, I don't like pudding)!!!

XOXO
Me
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PS
I had written to Polly earlier.
Part of her reply was this: "I don't know much about those injections you get in your back--I'll call and talk to you about that but maybe will wait a day or two to see how it is going. It still sounds to me like you are trying to do things that you shouldn't do, which could make things worse (which you know and I promise to quit saying now). I don't think you made a mistake trying the bone density drugs given your stage of osteoporosis--you had to try something and who knows--they may help build up some bone.
Some bone is better than no bone and that jaw thing happens with all of those kinds of drugs and it doesn't happen to a very high percentage of the women taking them (I think it was less than 1%---having said that I am still glad that I got off the Fosomax because I wasn't bad enough to use it long-term;
However, my mother had been using it for many years with no problems).
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So who knows?
Maybe I really *am* one of the lucky ones...

Just Another 'Broken~Hearted' Day...

My Sweet Polly, with Sputnik
(taken 2 weeks ago)...

A sad and long day for me- And Lord only knows how badly I need a nap...
Nothing bad happened. Though I woke with a bloody migraine.  Not too bad, but enough to throw me off for a while. I cannot take my pills either as I am scheduled to get 6 more shots in my back this Friday.
I am lonely; and not used to feeling that way. And, Oh My, it was so pretty, and perfect, outside.
I wanted to get out there so damn bad. Just no one to help me do that.

Thankfully though, my week from hell is over- I have now seen more doctors than I ever expected to in my lifetime.

On Tuesday last, I went to see Dr. Izzy, who revealed how I did on the MMPI?-2 testing.
In his own words, he said, (ahem), I had "a very excellent profile"...
He also said that he only needed to clarify a few questions. (There were about 8 of those). So I clarified, and we left. He had been uncertain in the beginning if Casey should hear my answers- I told him that I would not change my answers to accommodate the fact that my youngest child was overhearing it all. (It was nothing she hadn't heard already, anyway).  He lauded my honesty. 
I really am proud that I have no skeletons where my children are concerned- I was always blatantly honest with them about my own life. Besides, I really don't have anything to hide.
(Now why is that SO freakin' hard for my trainwreck, and others, to understand and/or accept)?

At any rate, I can now wait for the phone call that tells me *when* I will get my pain pump implant. First, they set up a "trial" with it.
Don't ask me about that, I don't know about how that will work yet. (But I do think I'd better reinforce my darn pockets on every pair of pants because if I have to carry it around for a while first, as I have to lug around my TENS Unit, then my pockets will all need help).
* * * That, or my pants will simply fall down if/when I do stand up. (Damned gravity anyway).

Tuesday afternoon found me - (at a sweltering 94+ degrees, with the A/C fubar'ed in my car)- at my primary doctors office.
Another change in meds to try to get the swelling down in my legs- It is called Bumetanide.
From Wikipedia: "Bumetanide is 40 times more potent than Furosemide (for patients with normal renal function).[1]"
I am also to continue the Diurex from over the counter (OTC).

She is also thinking that because of my weight loss (30+ pounds, or 17+% of my body weight) since the beginning of this year "might" be cancer.
Methinks she thinks too much. hehehe
However, they will rule out cancer before proceeding with anything else.
(WHAT?! They rule out the worst scenario first, and work their way down from there)?
Um, ok?  (I think)?

I am happy for the 30 pound weight loss- Problem is, I don't know 'where' it is lost from? My jeans, though a bit looser, still fit me fine. Same with the bra...  (damn shame that). hehehe

Maybe because I am [supposed to be] 'tall'...
I always giggle when the nurse asks me how "tall" I am. Used to be 5'9+", but with all this sitting (and bending over onto the table or desk just to be able to fall to sleep some nights), who the hell knows how "tall" I am now?!
Personally, I don't want to know.

Course I didn't want this either-

hehehe 
No wait. "UGH" fits MUCH better...
(Taken from across the road).

Thursday was an appointment at the hospital to meet my "nephrologist", (kidney doctor). 
He is from India- Both his 1st and last names begin with a "Q"- & with no "u" to follow.  Looks odd to see, but interesting too. I recall after reading his medical degree- (1/2 written in English, 1/2 in ?), that I'd wanted to ask him how his name was pronounced, but he was quite the "by the book" type of doctor. All business-.
(And besides, I forgot to ask him once he appeared).  Oh well.

Friday found me back at Pain Management for my monthly appointment- She changed my Rx again. Up. I just am not dealing with this all- Not too well anyway.

I still believe that the wrong drug in that infusion given erroneously in March is to blame for this swelling...
But I still have to figure how it all plays together.   Help?  Please? Anyone?

It seems strange that it would last so very long if it was- Then again, anything is possible in this day and age, especially where/what allergies do.
He will/has set up a Doppler ultrasound of my kidneys.  I will need some decent drugs to be able to lie on my back for that. I refuse to do that to myself anymore in this lifetime. They (my doctors) are "SOL" (shit~outta~luck), when it comes to making me lay like that.

Speaking of laying...
I am off to close my eyes for a while.
Keep it down please.  :-)     hehehe

Hope all is well with all-

XOXO
Me

I Don't Know HOW She Did It!

Good Evening All;
As you all know, I have been unable to even wage war on my house, due to my darn back.
Read on. You won't believe what a week I had!!!!   hehehe

Love to all,

XOXO
Me

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Dear Polly;
I slept until about an hour and a half ago. I imagine you tried to email me. Suffice to say that Yahoo did the same thing to me today that they did yesterday. Fortunately I was able to still get hold of someone in charge of this mix~up.
(And oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, the gal today didn't even hang up on me)...
Unfortunately, if you tried to email me in the meantime, I didn't get it. I hope you are settled safely in for the evening...

I miss you already.
Though you might not agree, I LOVED having you here.
I am almost sure there were a few times that you wanted to pack up your truck and leave. (I could not have blamed you either).

Never in my life had I expected (from one person), all the work you did for me! The fact that you drove so many miles to help me out astounds me still.
*** Still not sure how you "found" my floors, as I slept through your sweating that one out.
(My apologies for that). Zzzzzzzzzzz......

AND, you cooked for me too!  Not to dismiss your note here, but I can't wait for me to be done typing so I can go eat up the rest of last nights dinner. IT WAS SOOOO GOOD!!! (Idiot that I am, I neglected to even ask for your recipe).
I may even throw a pinch of salt on it.  Oooooh, just dare me! hehehe And yes, I do know how very hard it is to cook for someone who eats a salt-free diet, even if it is by choice- and not by doctors orders.

Back when Randy had his stroke it is something that I needed to adjust to immediately, and it wasn't easy. After having him recuperate here, taught me that I could live without any (added) salt; and that was good enough for me. I suppose there comes a time in everyone's life- (if we live long enough) that our doctors will tell us to cut back on our salt intake. I've just got them beat is all.

As you know, next week will be the week from hell for me- with all those darned doctor/hospital appointments- (It's a good thing that you didn't come then). Hopefully I will get at least ONE answer that I need, to be even a bit better.
Methinks I need a hammock in my car so it doesn't hurt so much to go somewhere...
Those doctors (some of them that don't know me anyway), look at me quite queer when I say that I will never have another test if I have to lie on my back. It simply is NOT going to happen- Not without my brace, (and not with me present either). hehehe

I was happy too that Casey got to come out today- and to see you off. I hope that you haven't hit any nasty weather. Sure has been a bad year for those storms popping up out of the nowhere. (Like this morning).
The weatherman said we may have some more of those in the overnight hours. There is a tornado watch, (I think until midnight)...
I hate storms at night- I am a big baby ya know. 
(Of course you do).

I owe you a debt I can never repay, save for with my heart. I can not only see my floors, I can see my countertops shining in the kitchen- And then, after my nap, as I rounded the corner, even the bathroom is all shiny and brand new.

I promise to try to keep it all as it is. I have also spoken to both Punk and Sput and told them each "No more shedding, inside."

I promise too, to get used to my new wheelchair, and to get outside with it also.

Sweet Polly, again I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you did.
And again, and again, and again...
I just don't know how else to say it, save for thank you... and with all my love.

XOXO,
Me

PS
Punk has now gone upstairs, twice since I woke- Looking for you I'd imagine, because she doesn't ever do that just for fun...

OK- Time now for your leftover Elk!  YAY and YUM!

YUMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Polly- for some reason I cannot send email out...

...So i figured you'd be able to get it this way anyway.
(Where there's a will, there's a way; as they say)...

Methinks maybe Wednesday would be better for you to come up?
I haven't even been able to move these past few days, and have already taken the pills allotted to me for today. Was going to lie down but remembered that I never emailed you back. My apologies.

I have a dr. appointment tomorrow at 1:15 or 1:45- Can't remember so will try to drive in for 1:15.  I can always drive into Green Bay and call a taxi from there if it hurts too much to drive.

If I hear nothing further then about the back surgery- ie the pain stuff, then I honestly do not know what I will do.

Casey says Greg might have a hernia- so she will be tracking down a doctor for him tomorrow. She had to pick him up at work today...

They (my pain doctors) wanted her there with me so she would know what I would need as far as any recovery thing would go etc.
I will just write it all down and take care of me. I always have anyway, so this is nothing new.

My apologies for being so bitchy lately. But i simply cannot stand this fucking pain- not anymore.

XOXO
Me

Pain and else.

Peek-A-Punk!

Hi All;
I wrote this more than a few days ago;- just wanting to {somehow}keep in touch and all.
Same old same old going on up here- I am getting more and more depressed- and finding pain that I didn't  know I even had possessed- from way deep within.
...and just when you think things can't get any worse... yeah right.
That I can't stand me 1/2 the time is putting it mildly-  Way mild-
Still, from the bottom of my heart I do hope all is well with everyone else.

Good Morning All.
Sweet Polly- I got your note a few days back, and have been pretty awful these days - - -
I hope you are hanging in there. I will try to call you at some point
Mr. Lester, I saw your note on my top page- Hope you don't mind me giggling at your temps too.

I am sure everyone will *not* be surprised when I say my computer is out of whack, (What is whack?
   It  has taken me an hour to even get to this page--- If anyone has sent me anything I will be back this afternoon... So if anyone left anything I hope to be able to reply better by then.
Have 2 appointments today- one is at 9:30, the next at 2:30 I recall.
Will have to come home (if I make it that long hehehe), and wrestle with this machine later.
More and more (and then even rain) more rain and thunderboomers too. (Me no likey)

I have been having one heck of a time just to sit- let alone type with these damned fingers of mine- Wonder how long it will take me to take a fooking shower? Hmmm...
That said I had best get in there and find out!

My love to all;

XOXO
Me

sorry about that...

Good Night Everyone;
As I'd written to my Sweet Becca last night...

I spent yesterday at the hospital... (I could barely move from all the pain- and had swollen up like a water balloon).   Casey brought me in-

They gave me 3 different kinds of things in my IV to try to counteract the damned boo~boo my doctor had made last Thursday.-
Truth be told I could not even concentrate well enough to read-
I told Becca I would come back again tomorrow (today). I promised.
And told her that if I didn't, she had my permission to drive up here and steal my new set of wheels...

... My guess is that she is probably heading north already!

I also received a very very cool letter from Doug. I had taken more than a few minutes to write a response when my desktop decided to crash...
I lost the whole damned letter!!!

I also have a friend from Y!-360 days- She has written to me and I owe her a letter...
I also owe Polly (my ex-next-door-neighbor) a letter AND a thank you card too- She'd sent me some yummy chocolate mints for Valentines Day.
Mmmmmmmm!

But for me~ my back and 'more' ~it only gets worse -and worse etc.  Apparently with my "computersaurus'" too, (but my laptop is my savior again).

Yesterday my back.  One would think that with all those shots they gave me, that I would have dropped off to 'LaLa Land ' very quickly after Casey drove me home.
Yeah right. I was up until after 4AM.

I was woken at 9AM by a very obnoxiously hungry dog, with a very cold wet nose... 
... And I woke too, with a terrible migraine.
My back being as bad as it is I didn't make it to the toidy before I barfed. Darn good thing the garbage in the kitchen had just been brought out the night before.
(Special thanks to Casey for that- and oh, for so very much more too).

I will now try to move my head and my back (and other various parts should they might choose to follow)... 
I shall (hopefully) get a few Zzzz's  in the lazy-boy. This now, so Punk won't have to wake me up late tomorrow just so I can feed her that darn breakfast 4 hours late.

Nighty-Night for now.
I promise to make no promises about tomorrow.    hehehe

Sweet dreams!
My love to all.

XOXO
Me

Mmmmmm! Thank You Polly!

So how does that look?  Pretty darn good!

Good Afternoon;
I have to share my scrumptious treat!

Miss Polly is my friend from Wyoming, and has made and sent some Chokecherry Jelly!
Mom would make that too, and I haven't had it in many many years.
The taste is exquisite!
Polly and Rich (her hubby) lived next door to us right after we bought our home on Jaworski Rd. I miss her. She has been by my side throughout forever, and always with a godsent friendship shoulder. She has listened to me not only cry about my girls, but to laugh with them too- Not to mention everything inbetween.
The world needs more "Polly"s...

Thank you Polly!
(I shall share with Casey- if I have to)!  hehehe

Love you always.

XOXO
Me

PS
Yes, I rushed my bread (you would have too), and it didn't rise right.
But hey, a bit of unleavened bread is good for the soul!

Animals. Bugs Ears. And Death.

A picture like this is never a good thing...
Stolen from WLUK FOX 11

Good Morning Everyone...
Last week I had blogged about Miss Polly. Polly and her husband Rich were our neighbors back when we all lived NE of Pulaski on Jaworski Road- They now live in Wyoming.

Miss Polly had come to Green Bay to visit last week
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Casey and Polly at the hotel.

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Before moving back to the homestead here, I'd raised my daughters on Jaworski Road near Pulaski.
While our neighbors AFTER Polly and Rich were nothing to write home about, this is still very awful and sickening news, and one would never wish for anything so terrible to happen to anyone.
CLICK HERE.
What news to wake up to.

I am not sure, (having had no reason to keep in touch), I do believe that the home is still owned by the same man who lived there after Rich and Polly moved.
I have heard that he has since remarried. (It was his previous "woman" that had been responsible for me obtaining a retraining order against the lot of them).
His new lady had moved in shortly before we had sold our home.
I never met her, nor knew her.

That house burned this morning- By the time the fire department got there, the entire back of the home was engulfed in flames.
The children ages, 11, 7, and 3, taking their pets, got out and went to the neighbors across the street.

Their mother died in the fire.

I pray that if she had to die, that she never woke to begin with.

But then what, or who, would have woken the children?

When we lived there, the man would go in to work very early, so he had probably already left for the day.

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Our home, (1988-1998) is on the left.

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The farm was originally owned by Andrew Jaworski himself, and built in the early 1930's. The house (ours) is concrete, poured from silo staves.

In its day, this was a very productive and active farm. But there came a time for Andrew to retire and for the eldest son to take over running the family farm. At that point, Andrew Jaworski erected the modular home next door to his.
*This arrangement did not last past Andrews death. I believe he passed on shortly before we bought the home from his son. 1988.

In the shot above, with the reporter blocking the view, (& to the left of the driveway), is a row of maple trees that I had planted as teeny tiny saplings the summer we had moved in. All the girls carried many pails of water to these little trees those first two years. I also planted a row of red cedars along the north end of our property.

Also blocked from view is a privacy fence installed by my buyer- between the two houses. (I am thinking they may have also had problems with these neighbors as well).

Be that as it may, again, no one ever wishes this on anyone for any reason. I am sure I will learn more about everything as the day goes on.


With respect to my back, I am still not moving well at all. I have made yet another appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

(If offered, I promise not to refuse xrays this time).   Grrr
In the meanwhile, it is quite painful to even take a shower and get dressed.
hehehe (No worries, I shower and dress anyway).


In addition to my own vitamins and supplements, know that I am very tempted to begin taking Punks pills too!
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Hey!
...It helps Punks back, why not mine?
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I do not know what has happened to my robins nest. Casey and I checked it on Tuesday- and this is what we found...
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I shall recheck today or tomorrow,
but I know something awful must have happened

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Casey took my garbage out for me on Tuesday also.
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Still cute as a bugs ear!

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.
Kelli had also stopped by that evening, offering to roll my dumpster to the end of the driveway for me too. What on earth do people do without family and friends?

(Personally, I cannot think of a worse way to live than to choose to live without).

While unable to really 'help' me out, Punk has been the epitome of compassion. When I go outside she will bring me her toys; and instead of laying them at my feet, she lifts them up for me.
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Holy Bugs Ears!
She's kind of cute too!

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And what does Mr. Sputnik do???
Absolutely nothing!

But he does dream of catching the wren in the box outside the kitchen window.

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He would care less if I fell over and died.
(Methinks I know people like that too).
hehehe?
.
Heck, he's probably waiting for me to keel over so he can have lunch.

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.
So... speaking of that dreaded shower, it is time for me to get in there.

Hope you all are having a good day; and that you always make a bit of time to pray for your families, your friends, and your neighbors too.

XOXO
Me


***
Special note to my main troublemakers, Casey and Jenné;
Take a close look...
Perhaps obscured, hmmm?... But it does seem as though the darn silo is gone?
I'm thinking Chris and Cheryl might not care to die of early and untimely heart failure.

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Posted to my Y! 360, Thursday May 14, 2009 - 11:06am (CDT)