Grandbaby Sam. WHO t/f DOES THIS?!?

Good Morning All!
Y'all remember our Baby Sam and his less than perfect entrance to our world?

I have sat on this entry since I've found out...
I have been remiss in filling y'all in on young Sam.

So here's some pictures- I believe they are very self-explanatory too.

















Daddy Chuck brought this to my attention a few days ago- Filling me in that this was done by someone he loved and trusted... (Yes, he called the police).
Quite like myself, Chuck shoots first, (then asks questions and takes names later). I am happy to report that as I type Sam and his dad are both on their way back to Wisconsin.
(Odd, but somehow that is a happy ending to something that should NEVER have happened in the 1st place).
I still fight back the tears...

Now would everyone please go hug their babies, all?

XOXO
Me

PS
One more link here if you will, I (STILL) get by with a little help from my friends.
Young Sam never did start with a fair shake.
Maybe now he can/will.

top pic credit in "It needed to be said" album here.

News. Thanks. Thoughts. And still no news.

Good Afternoon;
I have had the TV on in the background all day long- On the Animal channel-
They have had a few shows about the Animal Cops.
I have been asked *how* I can watch- which I really don't- But when I am in the room, I do look at the abuse that these animals have suffered at our hands.
This, and children being abused, have to be the worst of any imaginable sins...

What occurs to me is that, sad and revolting as these animals are to see, and to know that it happens; it is FAR WORSE that basically the same thing happens to our children.

They are as defenseless as these animals; fully dependent on others to care for them and to love them; and not to harm them.

I believe America needs those shows- about her own children. (And more, about our unsung American heroes that try to change this, bit by tiny bit).

Keep our dollars on American soil.
Feed our babies. Care for them always.

Do not fall for the sadness on your screen, or in your magazines that show children starving, dying in other countries. Yes, it is sad, and it is tragic- So are your neighbors.
We absolutely need to care for our own FIRST.

Walk down your block, around the corner...

Listen closely to what you hear-
Why is that child crying? Is it the same from day to day? Call your local police/sheriff departments, or contact your county social services...
DO something to help! (You will never forgive yourself if/when something ungodly happens.
And yes, do the same for the animal that you see/hear being mistreated, please.

OK. Rant done.

Let's see...
Along with my camera (which passed away several weeks ago), my desktop also seems to have perished... Unless Mr. Greg wishes to do an autopsy on the damn thing, I will probably have to have a service for it as I bury it in the backyard.
Perhaps I should bury the camera and the HP together?   hehehe

Thank God for my laptop! Took a while to fire up, but is doing well enough for me. Crap, a TV, a desktop, or a huge enough laptop to cover my many pictures, and a new camera too.
What the heck is going on? (I am waiting for light bulbs to flicker as I pass by). hehehe

No news on the surgery front.  Casey is at the doctors office as I type, and will be coming out here shortly after. I hope he can help. (Rumor has it that he HAS been a great influence to the Contract health dept, AND with contacting the surgeon; each doctor agreeing that to make this wait 'til October is still playing that damnable roulette game)...
Happy that we have doctors that can and will fight for their patients.

I received my new brace yesterday. Initially I loved it.
Today I do not share that sentiment.
The brace is too short to help my lower back, no matter how it is adjusted. I need a longer one. My back, neck to coccyx, measures 25", the brace barely covers 17" of that.
Not even close.

For my middle back and my upper back it is a great fit and to have it nice and snug. But I had to take it off to sleep too. Not a good thing because then I want to stretch out and roll, (something that must be done very carefully)- My brace is to maintain that while I sleep... This one surely doesn't.

The PM office called me right back yesterday morning, emphasizing that a red 'reaction' can occur after any shots, or cement procedure. She wanted me to have it checked, close up, before making an appointment to come in.
Casey checked it while I was getting the new brace. No streaks of any red, so probably not an infection. Casey said it might be a reaction to having my old brace so ill~fitting, and rubbing on an area where I have a bad disk, or maybe a bone spur...
Time will tell. I do not have a fever so am guessing it is nothing to worry about.
I will have Casey recheck it again today when she gets here.

I'd better close. I had cut two fingers open on Sunday morning helping Jim work on the lawnmower deck. They need to be soaked good, so I shall try to get my dishes done. Adding a bit of bleach because they have been undone for a few days. The hot water will pull out any infection there, and the bleach will ensure my fingers are not infected.
All this possible infection!!! Ick! Makes me want to go take a bottle of antibiotics. hehehe
But I do heal fast enough no matter what, so all will be well.

As I hope it is with all of you.

XOXO
Me

Police: 9-year-old girl stabs a Fond du Lac man who threatened to kill her mom

http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/Police-9-year-old-girl-stabs-a-Fond-du-Lac-man-who-threatened-to-kill-her-mom
Please click on the link above.

I hope this brave little girl and her Mama are safe from this man forever.
You GO, Girl!

XOXO
Me

CSI has Nothing on these Guys!

Link
http://www.fbi.gov/page2/jan10/rescued_011210.html

TWO SISTERS RESCUED Through a Unique Set of Clues
01/12/10
The pornographic images spotted online by Canadian authorities in 2007 were new—and they were disturbing. They showed a young girl, perhaps only 6 years old, being sexually abused by an adult male. But the images also contained clues to the girl’s identity—a beer can and a distinctive pair of eyeglasses. Ultimately, those clues helped a dedicated team of investigators rescue the girl, along with her 4-year-old sister, and send their abusers to prison for a very long time. Here’s what happened: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police first noticed the pictures online and compiled them for other law enforcement agencies. Members of the Toronto Police Services analyzing the images discovered a blurry beer can in the background of one picture and, after identifying the brand, learned that it was only manufactured in a handful of states in the northeastern United States. This information was shared with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). Independent of their Canadian colleagues, officers of the Belfast Police Department in Maine and later the Maine State Police were also studying the images and discovered that the victim had distinctive eyeglasses. This detail was also relayed to NCMEC, and a cooperative effort began among the various law enforcement agencies involved. As the investigation continued, the eyeglasses were identified by manufacturer and model number, and the beer manufacturer said that the can in question was only distributed in six states, including New York and Maryland. On August 1, 2008, a special agent from our New York office with our Innocent Images National Initiative program opened a case and began canvassing ophthalmologists in the six-state area to see who sold that brand of eyeglasses. Three weeks later, that painstaking investigative work paid off when a Maryland doctor recognized a picture of the victim. At this point, events in the case accelerated. On Monday, August 25, 2008, the Maryland doctor called FBI Agent Michael Sabric in New York to say that not only was the victim his patient, but she had come into his office that very morning—the first day of school—to replace a pair of broken glasses. Sabric immediately contacted our Baltimore office cyber squad, which handles child pornography cases as part of our Innocent Images program. A surveillance team was mobilized within hours, and when the girl got home from first grade that afternoon, investigators positively identified her as the online victim. Around 9 o’clock that night, Special Agent Rachel Corn—a member of the Baltimore cyber squad—had secured a search warrant for the victim’s home. By 10 p.m., a forensic child interviewer, victim assistance representatives, and members of the cyber squad and evidence response team were knocking on the front door of the house. Soon, the girl identified her two abusers. Forensic evidence later revealed her younger sister had also been abused. In October, one of the men involved was sentenced to 45 years in prison for sexually exploiting a minor and producing child pornography. His accomplice had already received a 36-year sentence. “This is the outcome you always hope for,” Agent Corn said. “Rescue the victims and put the abusers away.” Agent Sabric added that this case “is a great example of local, state, and federal authorities working together toward a common goal. Every piece of information along the way was critical to solving the case.” Resources: - Innocent Images National Initiative Headline Archives home

To All Addicts (Part 2).

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me"

Kind of long, but very important...

Good Morning.
How much further away from what I actually wrote do/can these people go?

Rude. Ignorant.
I was called those names...
Not to mention that yesterdays post (CLICK) even brought out one recovering alcoholic and drug abuser, on the pancreas site, who took offense. (Was I horning in on his territory with my own assessment of the drug situation at hand)?
He claimed there is a difference between addict and dependent (upon).

There is.
But his definition was all bass~ackwards. (What the heck do they teach these people in AA/NA groups)?
Or do they even teach them (that)?  Not sure...


I do not mean to be flippant. That was neither my point, nor my opinion.
My point was only to (try to) make others aware that denying their children some pain relief from their intractable pain is a terrible thing to do. (And darn close to abuse in my book).

I chose my wording carefully.
The word "addict", referring even to Casey, was/is more than appropriate.

Would your own opinions of my post have changed if you would have known the difference? 
What if your own child had chronic pain?
Or would you be a parent who denies pain relief to your child on the basis of "what if", or "what will the neighbors think?" ?

Dependence:
Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being dependent upon or unduly subject to the influence of another
2 a : drug addiction    b : HABITUATION 2b
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

ADDICTION:
compulsive physiological need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined  physiological symptoms upon withdrawal;
broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful

HABITUATION:

1 : the act or process of making habitual or accustomed
2 a : tolerance to the effects of a drug acquired through continued use,  b : psychological dependence on a drug after a period of use—compare ADDICTION
3 : a form of nonassociative learning characterized by a decrease in responsiveness upon repeated exposure to a stimulus —compare SENSITIZATION 3

____

As you can see, the research within the medical guidelines can/will extend past the words above.

Also of vital importance is this: From http://thesaurus.reference.com
Notes:
"ADDICTION IS MAINLY PHYSICAL WHILE DEPENDENCY IS MOSTLY PSYCHOLOGICAL"

The man in question has since put his tail between his legs (in my opinion) and has stated that he needs to leave the group.
Maybe he does. (though I would never write that either).Perhaps his needs would better be served on an AODA site, which I am sure are plentiful.
I did say those comments did belong on an AODA site though.

Among other, (nicer) things, I wrote the following:
"sadly, your reply only perpetuates all the fears of the people I was addressing. (It also tells me that you have missed the point of my entire posting).
I was most certainly NOT writing about ANYthing illegal or immoral. Those were 'your' choices 25+ years ago.
The parents, children (and adults) I was writing to/of did NOT have a choice to be part/parcel of a painful disease that needs to be treated."

Note that # 2 definition spells out "DRUG ADDICTION".
That's a fact, Sir.
You can choose to 'pretty it up' or try to make some off~the~wall comparison, but respect the fact that it won't fly with me.

So he opts to leave.  ...Um... er... bu-bye...

Then came woman offended, spouting 'rude' and 'ignorant'  (among various other names)- What I would call my "mother image of all things good" -who thought perhaps I did not laud the other guy enough for being clean/sober.
My own beliefs are that it is not up to me (or anyone) to pat him on the back. It is up to himself to remain clean/sober. (I did not write that either).
Through Roberta's own treatment, she has told me numerous times that I should not censor myself just because she is/always will be recovering. That #1., there is nothing anyone can say/do that will turn her away from clean and sober. That #2., it would be her choice to do so, no matter the circumstances. (That's what she was taught in recovery anyway)...

Anyway, 'XXX' also threw in the idea of Casey, and "pitty parties" (her misspelling, not mine).
She further stated "You do NOT know what it is like to suffer day in and day out".  (I had to giggle at that one). hehehe

She went on and on- Her prerogative. 
(I will only copy you on my own reply as I don't think I can copy hers. If you have any questions let me know).
But she did say she was sorry if her words hurt my feelings.

My reply, thus...

Dear XXX;
Do not worry, xxx, of course you didn't hurt my feelings.
I too am an "everyday" person with everyday values and struggles.
(We are ALL that, and much more).

You stated, "You do NOT know what it is like to suffer day in and day out" end quote...
XXX, I am disabled, and assure you that I can well understand what chronic pain is. But again, this/my story simply does NOT belong on a "pancreatitis" website, (wouldn't you agree)?

Furthermore, I never even broached the possibilities of where that man's disease came from! Quite honestly, that never even crossed my mind until I'd read your note.

Do not attempt to read between my lines. I am quite open and direct.

I believe I tried to make people understand that there are not always "negative" associations with the word 'addict'.
I can plainly see you did not interpret our story that way.

My heart goes out to those children (and adults) who will not receive their pain meds because 'someone else' thought they didn't need them, even as prescribed by their doctors!

As I spoke of my own daughter, now 22, (quoted from my original post), "Is she an addict? Yes she is. And in the most humbled definition of the word too." end quote

My words are neither misinformed, nor ignorant.

Nor was I opting for a "pitty party" approach to anything?
I know that my Casey would not have lasted through all of her own stuff had she been of a mind to entertain the "pity~pot" mentality. She is much much stronger and wiser than to even attempt to do so. It is her same strength and wisdom that have given me this insight to her own pain.

My apologies (to those who will have to do without), if my more direct approach didn't help you to understand that.
As I have just written to the previous poster, "grin and bear it" does not work! (Those words are only for those people who are NOT suffering; for we cannot ever even begin to know another's pain).

Please refer back to the Medical definition of 'dependence'. Note that the # 2 definition spells out "DRUG ADDICTION" in its entirety.
I assure you that I did not write that book.

Again, I have tried only to help those who cannot help themselves out of fear (or ignorance) of another.

I believe that through them all (my postings) I have tried to help another out. My apologies (again) if you did not see it that way.

I will close my note to you here exactly as I had closed my first posting [to those parents it applied to]:
"Worry less about the pills than you worry about the pain. When that pain is gone then, (and ONLY then), are you/your child to worry about getting away from the pain medicines.

Know that there are no two ways around it.
Know too that it doesn't happen overnight.
I can only promise that it WILL happen.

Admit that the elephant is in the sitting room. But leave him quietly alone.
He will leave in his own time.

Peace and health to everyone during this holy season, whatever your own beliefs are.

Believe in yourself.  More importantly, believe in your child."
end quote/note

___

One gal wrote that alot of people just don't like the word "ADDICT"
~To whit, (and touché), "a rose by any other name" would apply.

Maybe this will begin to sink in to peoples psyches, and maybe not.
I really did try to help these people out.

I have this image of my own 'what if' here...
It is the image of my own CaseyAnne, had I ever thought to 'ration' her pills out of fear of what the neighbors would say.

And how, exactly, would I have accomplished that?
Would I take her to the doctor, ask for a diagnosis, and then tell him, "Thanks Doc, I'll take it from here." ?

And now, I have images of many kids, much like my Casey, being rationed.
Know that it is very hard to get those images out of my mind.

Have a day.

XOXO
Anne

PS
If you haven't read Part One, please do so. CLICK

Domestic Violence Anyone?

How sick is this?
Is this just another reason to lie to your insurance company, (and hope it never comes to light)?

Or sadly, another reason not to report this when it happens?

Do any of you have this in your papers?

• What is the original question?
  
  • Is it "has it ever happened to you?"
  • Or "is it happening now?"

From here: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/

Michelle Obama claims that domestic violence counts as a pre-exisiting condition in some states

On Sept. 18, 2009, the first lady gave a speech about the importance of health care reform to women, and cited several reasons she thinks the current system is gender-biased.
 
This line caught our attention:
 
"Women are affected because, as we heard, in many states, insurance companies can still discriminate because of gender," she said. "And this is still shocking to me. These are the kind of facts that still wake me up at night... In some states, it is still legal to deny a woman coverage because she's been the victim of domestic violence."
 
Health reform bills under consideration by Congress would prohibit insurance companies from denying coverage based on pre-exisiting conditions, an issue we've already explored; we've also examined how pregnancy can sometimes be a basis to deny coverage, and how pre-exisiting conditions already lead to health care rationing by private health insurers.

But we'd never heard domestic abuse could count as a pre-existing condition, so we decided to look into the claim. 

The issue first came to light in 1994, when a Pennsylvania woman was denied health, life and mortgage disability insurance because of domestic violence, according to the Women's Law Project. That group, along with Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, began advocating for legislation to expressly prohibit the practice. Since then, most states, including Pennsylvania, have adopted laws prohibiting the practice.

But, as Mrs. Obama said in her speech, denying coverage due to a history of domestic abuse is still legal in some states. Those states are Idaho, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota and Wyoming, and the District of Columbia, according to the National Women's Law Center.

The claim has become a popular talking point for groups supporting health care reform such as the Service Employees International Union. (It's been discussed so much recently that Arkansas, which had no prohibition, this year passed a law prohibiting discrimination against domestic violence victims.)
A Huffington Post story about the laws last week prompted several states and insurance companies to say that the laws have been changed or that the companies don't treat domestic violence as a pre-existing condition.

The North Carolina situation is a matter of some disagreement. Although the Women's Law Center says the practice is still allowed, state officials say they interpret the laws to mean it is not.

Mississippi Insurance Commissioner Mike Chaney told the Jackson Free Press that he wanted to explore whether insurance companies were taking advantage of the law:
 
"I've got to get some of my lawyers to do some research on this, but we have only six mandated (conditions that must be covered) in our state statues, and we have 25 or more optional coverages, but domestic abuse doesn't seem to be one of them... The whole situation is bad. Let's say a woman works with a company that had Blue Cross/Blue Shield, and she gets beat up in her house and Blue Cross says 'we're not covering you because getting beat up is your pre-existing condition.' That's terrible."

Meanwhile, Wyoming Department of Insurance staff attorney James Mitchell told the Huffington Post that state law does not expressly prohibit insurers from using domestic abuse as grounds to deny coverage, though he'd found no cases of the practice in his state.

Mitchell's response raises an important point: Just because it's legal in some states for insurance companies to cite domestic violence as a pre-existing condition, it doesn't mean that insurance companies are actually taking advantage of the loophole.

Back in the 1990s there was evidence that the practice was widespread. In 1994, a House Judiciary Committee panel conducted an informal survey and found that eight of the 16 largest insurers in the country used domestic violence as a factor in deciding coverage. And a year later, the Insurance Commission of Pennsylvania reported that a formal survey showed that 24 percent of accident, health, and life insurers took domestic violence into account when deciding whether to issue and renew insurance policies.

But that data is more than 10 years old, so we asked Lisa Codispoti, senior counsel for the National Women's Law Center, if insurance companies are still denying health care coverage based on domestic violence history.

Examples are hard to come by, she said, because people who get coverage through an employer don't usually face exclusions about pre-existing condititions. Only people who apply for individual coverage would, she said.

"It's such a small number of people who apply for individual insurance," she said. "And it's not like insurance companies have to tell you why you're being denied coverage."

Indeed, underwriting standards are private, said Nancy Durborow, health projects coordinator for the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, making it difficult for groups such as hers to find out how widespread the practice still is.

"This is very secretive stuff," she said.

A spokesman for the association representing insurance companies told us he's not aware of any insurers that deny women coverage based on history of domestic abuse. And the group supports a proposal by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners that would fully prohibit the practice.

"No one should be denied coverage because they are victims of domestic abuse," said Robert Zirkelbach, a spokesman for America's Health Insurance Plans.

We find that the first lady is correct that "in some states, it is still legal to deny a woman coverage because she's been the victim of domestic violence."
Putting aside the disputed North Carolina law, there still are several other states - including Mississippi and Wyoming - that have no specific laws prohibiting the practice. It's important to note that we couldn't find this was happening on a widespread basis -- or even just a little bit.
Mrs. Obama is correct and we rate the claim True.

What's your take on this? I find it repulsive at best.

XOXO
Me

Child Porn Suspect *Do You Recognize This Man?

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/FedCrimes/story?id=6923379&page=1
ABC News: Feds Seek Child Porn Suspect 'John Doe #17'


DOJ Trying to Identify Man Shown in Video Allegedly Sexually Abusing a Young Girl
By THERESA COOK and JASON RYAN
Feb. 20, 2009

(Photo Courtesy DOJ)

Members of the public with information about this case should contact their local FBI field office or call FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. at 202~324~3000.

Tips can also be submitted via the FBI's Web site, https://tips.fbi.gov/

A federal grand jury in Maryland has indicted a man known only as "John Doe #17" on child pornography charges, and the Justice Department has released photos of the suspect in an attempt to identify him.


John Doe child porn indictment...
A federal grand jury has indicted a suspect only known as "John Doe 17" for allegedly transporting child pornography via the Internet.
The Justice Department has released photos of the man, whom investigators described as white with curly brown hair, weighing approximately 210 to 250 pounds, in an attempt to identify him.


The indictment charges that on or about May 5, 2007, "John Doe #17," described as "a white male, approximately 210-250 pounds, with curly brown hair" and appearing in images accompanying the documents, "did knowingly transport and ship in interstate and foreign commerce, specifically by means of a computer, child pornography."

The indictment, announced today, refers to a video file named "DV Out Tear - 02[177432]," which "contain[s] visual depictions of a pre-pubescent female posed nude and exposing her genitalia."

"We are confident if a relative or friend sees this picture of 'John Doe #17,' they may recognize him, and we're hoping the local police will contact federal authorities, then we'll be able to prosecute" the suspect, said U.S. Attorney Rod Rosenstein.

"Besides the traditional news media, if we get these pictures out on the Internet, someone may know the suspect and help identify him."

The Justice Department said the case stemmed from the investigation into a global child porn operation. A user of the service uploaded "two videos of a perpetrator, John Doe #17, engaged in the sexual exploitation of a pre-pubescent female," a department statement said.

Analysts were able to isolate images of the suspect's profile without showing the identity of the alleged victim.

Under the Justice Department's Endangered Child Alert Program, officials can open a case and begin to initiate a criminal investigation upon the discovery of a child pornography image.
John Doe #17 is the 12th suspect to be prosecuted as a result of the program's efforts.

If authorities are able to convict the suspect, he faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. The charge carries a mandatory minimum sentence of 5 years upon conviction.

U.S. and international law enforcement agencies have used a similar approach to identify child pornography and child sex abuse suspects in the past.

*****************

Suspect Images Released, Cases Already Cracked

Federal agents arrested Wayne Nelson Corliss in May at his apartment in New Jersey after a global manhunt.

Interpol had released cropped images of Corliss taken from a series of photos that showed him engaged in sexually explicit conduct with young boys in Southeast Asia. Tips from individuals in the United States confirmed his identity and led to his arrest.

Corliss pleaded guilty to child pornography and related charges in October and is due to be sentenced later this year.

In another case, authorities released an image in 2007 of a man who had originally been distorted with a swirl to conceal his identity. But technicians were able to unscramble it.

Authorities said they had obtained videos and photos showing the man sexually abusing young boys.

After a global appeal, officials were able to identify the man as Christopher Paul Neil, a Canadian who had worked as a school teacher who taught in several Asian countries.

A Thai court convicted him of sexual abuse and related charges. He is serving a prison sentence in that country.

*****************

Somebody, somewhere knows him...
Please feel free to link to this, or to copy and post on your own.

XOXO
Anne

What in the Hell is Wrong with People? (Gimme a Break).

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090110/ap_on_re_us/mother_s_slaying
'Man shot my mommy':
Ohio woman slain, son taken -

"...police arrested Charlie Myers, 22, of Columbus, who confessed to the crime."

*************
Click the link above to read the whole story...

I (almost) did OK with this nauseating story; until I got to the following words:

"Myers had it rough from an early age, when his mother died of a drug-related heart attack when he was just 4. He lived in homeless shelters with his father, who beat him with a belt, and struggled with a hearing impairment that wasn't addressed until he was 6 years old. He spent most of his childhood being shuttled between more than 20 foster homes in the Columbus area..."

*************

Hmm...
Do I really have to reiterate the question in my title? Spare me the BS please.
(As if there is ANY justification for rape, sodomy, brutalizing and terrorizing a 4 year old child? For arson)?

In my own little opinion, this man is 22 years old.
How old must one be to be responsible for what they do?

How old does anyone have to be before they quit blaming their parents, or their upbringing, for bad choices THEY make as an adult?

Any "perfect" parents out there? Cuz I SURE would like to hear how ya'all did it.

And no, I didn't beat my kids, (but they sure as heck got their backsides swatted if/when they earned it)...

XOXO
Anne

You Maybe Saw It Coming... Didn't You?

Good Morning.

Or is it?

...Deep breath...

ROBERTA and GABRIEL...

Roberta works as a waitress/hostess at a little restaurant in Green Bay.
She has even finally arranged to have Gabriel at a child care facility.

Sounds good, no?

Problem is, she has placed him there from 4pm til midnight. (She doesn't even WORK these hours).
?

The state of Wisconsin has finally stepped up to the plate, and has taken Master Gabriel into their custody.
I believe they will be checking into Sams 'home' too; although I wish to go on record that Marie and Chuck are taking real good care of him. No worries.

For now, (and God knows how long), Gabriel is in a foster home, not too far away from here.
~They have 2 preschoolers for him to socialize with.
~They also have 2 school age children, that they have adopted out of the system.
Their own babies have long since graduated from high school.
(God bless this family)!

Roberta, (IF she can be located) must be in court tomorrow afternoon.

~She must prove her income.
~More importantly, she must prove that Gabriel has a safe place to sleep, eat, grow, etc if he lives with her.
~She must prove that she has bought him clothes and diapers.
(Her food is on the States pay as Food Stamps)

I have all those clothing, diapers and Pull-ups (and other necessities), receipts in my possession and on my credit card, simply because I have been loving and supporting this child forever.

Casey and I will be in court also.

Gabriel had been here again, since Saturday.
Apparently Roberta did not come home to Gabriel-
And when she did, was quite drunk, (God knows what else).

On Saturday she moved in with the dishwasher from her work.
(Also apparently a drug dealer). Will have to do some checking online about this guy yet...

Casey drove to town to pick Roberta and Gabriel up.
~He was filthy dirty; wore soiled/wet pull ups.
~He was clearly overtired, and over hungry.
~Not wanting to even eat but a few crumbs, he slept from 4 that afternoon until I woke him at 8 on Sunday morning!

Back to Saturday, Roberta walked in here after being thrown out of still another guys place.
After talking to her, (seeing her inability to even keep her eyes open), I told her Gabriel could stay anytime, but she could not.
(I really cannot have her/lifestyle in my home).

I told her that I do not care who, or how many, men she sleeps with; nor how many diseases she spreads around.

And said I no longer cared how many or what kind of drugs she takes.

Nor do I care how much alcohol she thinks she can drink.

I also told her that "as long as I draw breath I will fight to keep her from bringing Gabriel down with her."

She brought in a few armfuls of clothes, dumped them in the bathroom; and stated that Gabriel has a doctor appointment scheduled for October first.
?
She then signed over custody (albeit temporary) to me.
Casey then drove her back to Green Bay.

Please pray a few words for my Little Master Gabriel.

~I have lost both of my parents.
~I have been divorced twice.
Believe me when I say this is the hardest thing I have ever been through.

Sadly I also believe it is a LONG way from finished...
William called last night too- he believes this will open many doors for me.
Time will only tell.

Love to all.

XOXO
Anne
 

How Would YOU Deal?

Good Morning;
I am sickened...
Know that I have added another 2 'blocks' within my contacts...

Gabriel and I will be leaving soon...
And I just wanted to let you know what I have been reading this morning, (and every chance I have had since Friday).
Just a few links for you...

Here's one.  CLICK HERE

And another. CLICK HERE

Still another. CLICK HERE

Are you disgusted yet?

Try this one. CLICK HERE.

As always, this is America.
You are then free to draw your own conclusions.

My own thoughts are "HOW FRICKIN' DAMN DARE YOU!?!"

...And I just cannot get past that.


XOXO
Anne

Betrayal and Babies. A "No Yahoo" Blog!

Back to the Blog!!!
MINE!

...I promise not to even THINK about all the garbage going on in our little 360~World this morning. (Like my danged fat~foot~pain, I have grown WAY too tired of it all anyway)...

Good Morning Everyone, (well, to those of you who are still here)...

Off on a wild tangent here. Was exploring a bit, and also found a few more pictures of my own here. had to fight with my HP Scanner to get them all in, and edited too. Alls well that ends well though...

Oh, and you'd probably want to grab a cup of coffee, it's a long-ish blog...

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I am going to write today of betrayal, guile and deceit. And a few of my own experiences thereof...

de·ceive
VERB:
de·ceived , de·ceiv·ing , de·ceives

To cause to believe what is not true; mislead. Archaic To catch by guile; ensnare.

V: intr.
To practice deceit. To give a false impression.

One of Angies recent blogs dealt with her own problems with a friendship she had come to cherish. Click her name for her story.

I have recently learned of deceit by a once~close family member who has forgotten that one of the commandments is "Thou shalt not steal".
I am deciding whether to press charges against this person.
(It is none of my offspring).

...Life. Yeah, it's kinda like that...

Having a conversation with Richard the other day, he had brought up something that I hadn't thought about in years. And that Casey had never known about. Was she shocked or surprised? Not. But the fact that I was surprised when he had even recalled it has given me moments to think on it awhile.

Scenario: Married. Separated. Back together. Separated. Divorced.
All in a 4 and a half year time span.
Less than 1/10th of my entire life, it still bears importance to me; (maybe just because at the time it was 20% of my whole life).

At one point we had moved our married life and two small babies to Holland, Michigan; and then a few months later, to Zeeland Michigan.
It was at that point in Michigan that our marriage was over for me.
No car of my own, I carried the kids, to secure a UHaul... And then packed that truck while "he" was at work. I packed up an entire house, two little babies, and was bound and determined to drive that truck home to Flintville that night.
BUT... (lady luck)...
He came home early that day; and I made the mistake of saying that I was leaving, and that he was "welcome to join me."
(Hindsight being what it is, he wasn't; but he did).

When we got back here, we stayed here at Mom and Dads for a while; just until we could find a place of our own... In the meantime, one of my friends had come over, and had asked me to join her softball team.

But of course I would join!!! I was thrilled to have something, other than tending babies, to do.
Hmmm... Nope, that does NOT make me a bad mother to say that; rather it keeps me honest. (Those babies were born not even 14 months apart).

Another close friend, Cindy VerVaeren (sp), and I spent lots of time together too. She was my confidante. She was my rock. She had an apartment on the west side of town, (the place we had found was on the east side).
We shared our trials with respect to life. She was to be married to a classmate of ours, and asked me to be matron of honor. YAY!
(And once more to reiterate that I was SO happy to be back HOME)!

I played softball... fast pitch, slow pitch, and every other kind. (And I was damn good at it too)! hehehe My "wonderful" husband actually was thrown out of the ballpark at Bay Beach for cursing each and every decision the umps made. Banned from all my games too. I was embarassed that he was there acting like that, and further embarassed at that decision too.

It was during that time that I had met Richard.

Having taken a season off because I was pregnant with Roberta, I still had many friends from my teams. One of the teams I played for was The Surf Club. A quaint, but rather large old "mom~and~pop" type club; owned by Johnnie Johnson and his wife.
One month after Roberta was born I filed for divorce. After going to the shelter, I then moved with my three babies to my parents home; until the idiot was court~ordered to vacate our apartment.
Weeks/months (whatever) later, I was joining some friends at The Surf Club. While they drank or played darts, or shot pool, I was playing at the pinball machine. The door to the club was directly behind me by about 3 feet, if that...

I remember that I had an excellent game going, and had been given TONS of extra games already. My points just kept adding up... (I was sure getting my quarters worth)! hehehe
All of a sudden, to find myself down on the floor, and thrown into the wall at my side.
Hurt.
And there were many people yelling.
Scared, but to turn a bit, and open my eyes after the impact with the wall, I saw my (still then) husband standing there and cursing.
He was over 6' tall, and "Little Mark" as we called him, was 'telling him off'. Mark was maybe all of 5'7" tall. I remember Johnny Johnson yelling too, and telling my idiot husband to "get out and stay out"...
(No one could have stopped it, or barely even seen him come in. It all happened so fast).

Rick had recalled this event the other day... We had been talking about how things had changed during the course of ones lifetime.
He was there that night, and had seen it happen too; but shooting at one of the pool tables at the other end of the place, he had not gotten there fast enough either. (The idiot had already been forcibly removed from the club).

I called Cindy to come and get me. There was no way I was going back to Mom and Dads and have to share this with them. (At that point still, I was still too embarassed to tell them about everything)... And I spent that night at Cindys, along with many more, (in "hiding" if you will, in her security~locked building).
Like I said, she was my rock...

She got married, and I was her matron of honor. Not too very long after that, she came to my townhouse and declared that divorce was wrong. She told me if I went through with the divorce that all of my kids would be stupid juvenile deliquents and wind up in jail. (Things to that nature)... And she told me that a divorced woman alone was useless etc etc etc. And that she didn't care to be friends with me.

I couldn't believe the contempt that came from her. Only a few weeks before having watched her be married, having signed her marriage license.

Asking her to repeat it all, and doubly asking her if this is what she truly believed, I told her, in no uncertain terms, to leave my house, and my life. She did.

I was shattered completely; for I had always honored my friends too. And for the first time in my life, (save for the brutal marriage I'd had), I knew what betrayal felt like. It burnt all the way through... And it cut deep.

Fast forward a few years to our 10 year class reunion. Her husband had come to me asking to 'bury the hatchet'. (Over my dead body).
She'd simply pulled up anchor and had left me.
I didn't want any part of that. Not again. "Fool me once" was enough.
I do remember at that reunion having a glass of lambusco in my hand, and I also remember toying with the idea of tossing it at her cream colored dress. But I didn't. (I think I regret that to this day). Oh well.

The things that have changed during our lifetimes here. Rick is older than I by 10 years. He grew up to do his tours with the Marine Corp in Vietnam. He said when he was a kid that the husbands that beat their wives were scorned a bit, but everyone had a tendency to look the other way. Then came the stick up for a few wives mentality... And then the wives began to stick up for themselves too.

Yet, with respect to domestic violence, the role the police had was only to separate the husbands and the wives; if only to tell them to go cool off for an hour or so!

I swear that with respect to what I went through, my own ex might still be in jail if the laws we have now could somehow be made retroactive.

Now if only we could make our children understand.

Have a great Tuesday.

Love to all.

XOXO
Anne

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Abuse

It's NOT what you think this blog is about...

But I am thinking the above picture says it all!

Pucker up... .stolen from here click

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Good Monday Morning Everyone!

Recently, I have had the chance to be taken back to my own younger days. To rehash, and rethink, upon things I hadn't given thought to (for years maybe)...

Most of us, and I was clearly NO exception, thought we knew almost everything in our late teens. We were forces to be reckoned with. Damn the torpedoes, full speed a head. And we were going to change the world (cuz we simply knew SO much)!

We changed all right.

Most importantly to have succeeded only in changing our own little worlds.

...Making our own self, and our own world, comfortable enough; not only for ourselves, but perhaps for someone else to come in, sit down and feel safe too.

Life itself has taught me that I can only do this if I am willing to share the 'all' of it all.

But I have 'gone back'...

I married right out of high school.

Hindsight being 20/20, I did this only to get out of the house where I always took a backseat to my misguided sister. (Note, I do not harbor resentment to what happened then, but most recently, I have been shown acute betrayal from this same sister too).

...Water under the bridge, and all that... Not important to this blog.

In a previous blog, "Relationships ~ What May Define" >click< , I had used words from one of the Oprah shows.

That blog, and those words made me think, and to revisit.

I thought back to my first kiss. Holy Mackeral, I was IN LOVE with this man! It had to be love, didn't it? I mean, he kissed me for Petes sake! I was all of 14 (to the best of my recollection), and had attended my cousins wedding that evening. Having taken Ballroom Dance classes at the YWCA, I could dance to almost anything. And was even asked to! (That's one "YAY" for the wallflower here). hehehe

After I realized it was ONLY a kiss, I was devastated for a long time. It was to that date, one of the worst feelings I had ever felt, and I didn't think it would ever go away. In truth, that devastation lasted all of about 9 hours or so, (but it ruined my entire day too).

Fast forward a few years. I found myself wanting to be rid of all the crap of home. I was 18, (and legal almost everywhere). I certainly didn't 'need' my parents anymore. They had done their jobs well, and had taught me everything I needed to know.

So I married and had babies. Only to realize when I was 5 or 6 weeks pregnant with my oldest that I was married to a monster. This was only the first time he hit me.

And so it went.

I was determined to remain married. After all, I had promised in front of God and everyone there that I would. "Better or worse" and all that BS...

The tears! OMG, if I could have harnessed the sorrow in my own husbands voice when he apologized to me afterwards, I would have been rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Dreams? Those same dreams were fading fast. Each punch. Every slap. The dreams got pushed quietly to the background of my soul.

With each new day came a wonder that what would happen that day. How could I make it alright? How could I "fix" it so he would be happy? Why wasn't I making him happy?

More words too. These insults and put~downs have actually remained part and parcel of myself all these years after all the bruises have healed.

...Sometimes I think words are the worst of it. They have that certain "staying power"...

And no, you cannot take them back. That will be between God and himself, later.

While I was raising babies, he was working. He held this 'work = money = value' over my head countless times. But I didn't need money then (or now) to make me feel important; so those insults, for the most part, rolled off my back.

I know now he said these things to try to keep me in my place.

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He had been raised with plently of money. It was important to him, even though he claimed it wasn't or he would have not tried to make me feel bad about it in the 1st place.

Words...

And the name~calling...

Ugly.

Bitch.

Crazy. (I am still partial to that one). hehehe

Slut. (Yup, after all, I was with him).

...And too many more to even write (or to care about anymore). Just that like I said, they DO have that 'staying power'.

3 babies, and 4 and a half years later; made black and blue countless times from this controlling and dominating husband, and coming home to a shotgun in my face, I decided that it was time to let my parents know that they hadn't taught me everything after all.

They were not at all surprised when I finally filed for divorce. Actually, my own fathers words to me then were, "What took you so long?"

But none the less, a certain blow to my insides too. Ellen Barkin said of her own break~up, "Not even a mountain of cushion-cut diamonds can soften a blow like this."

And then the sobs began...

The wailing, the begging, and oh, the tears...

Not mine, mind you, but my soon~to~be ex's...

"I promise it will never happen again." (BINGO! You got that one right).

"I will change." (Tigers. Stripes. Nuff said).

"If I can't have you, I will kill myself." (Ummm, wait BuddyBoy, if YOU don't care about your own life, then tell me why the hell I should)?? Hmmm... ?

And it was done.

And I was NOT anyones doormat, even though for quite some time, on the inside I still felt my name was "MATT"... But I grew out of that too. And no one walks on my heart or my body anymore; unless I want them to.

I wish that every young person could know this story too.

And that you do not get married for the wrong reasons. Ever.

Just a 'want' to be married, and a 'hope' that all things will eventually work themselves out is not ever enough.

And obviously missing from my own first marriage was the word 'commitment' on his part. He was only commited to himself, even though he did give grand 'lip~service' to all the rest.

Actions always speak louder than words.

And sometimes in life, we have to learn the hard way, (or die trying)...

Many of you commented that you did learn the hard way.

I hope your stories do not equal my own. But I know also that there are too many that do...

And so you kissed.

And for whatever reason you thought you fell in love.

What ultimately destroyed that love you thought you had?

Or is it love in the 1st place IF it can be destroyed????

Were you truly in love?

Or were you in love with the idea of being in love????

How long did you feel the pain? Before, during and afterward?

How do you define control?

Does control have any place in a healthy, happy relationship?

Abuse takes many forms and suppresses many bright spirits.

And not to matter if it is psychological, emotional, physical, sexual or in any other form. "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet" (Or however it goes).

What do you tell your own friends that are suffering, and perhaps trying to end a relationship that they feel they need?

So help me out folks....

And do have a 'wunnaful' Monday too.

XOXO
Anne

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10 Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Date updated: April 17, 2007
Content provided by Revolution Health Group

>CLICK HERE<

Hundreds of thousands of women and men are abused by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend each year.

In fact, the National Domestic Violence Hotline answers more than 16,000 calls every month from victims, survivors, friends and family members, law enforcement personnel, domestic violence advocates and the general public.

If you or someone you know experiences any of the following signs of an abusive relationship, get help now. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (or 800-799-7233) or TTY (800) 787-3224. Help is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

1. Your partner destroys your personal belongings.

2. Your partner touches you in ways that scare or hurt you.

3. Your partner forbids you to seek medical treatment.

4. You frequently feel humiliated, insulted or degraded by your partner — who then denies contributing to these feelings or says that the abuse is your fault.

5. You feel dominated and/or controlled — meaning he or she controls where you go, what you do and whom you see or talk to.

6. You frequently receive the "silent treatment," and feel like your partner purposefully keeps you at a distance emotionally.

7. You feel threatened, or are threatened with violence.

8. You're isolated, or made to feel isolated, from your friends and family.

9. You are not allowed to have control of your own money.

10. You are forced to have sex or you're forced into sexual activities you're uncomfortable with or that hurt you.

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Please feel free to add to this list...

I thank you in advance for sharing of your thoughts, life, your values, and your own hearts.

I am going to add one right now.

How about? ...The withholding of love, or sex, or affection, only to cause pain.

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All About Me. Think. Own. Digest. Feel.

Needing a little peace inside, there are many issues that have been brought to my attention as I have been blogging. 
You want/need answers, and many have asked me to define my own humanity.  
This is fair, and I believe I owe a bit of explanation- At least as far as I will go on here.

Please also bear with me as this was long and a bit difficult to write- This has been weighing on my mind, and yes, I know I need to share.

So many questions from you! Can I ever be serious? Are you ever lonely? Are you compassionate? Where do I know you from? Are you harsh? Are you for real? Are you honest? Have you loved?

Many have asked, do I ever have a bad day?

And the answer is a firm resounding "YES!" I have lots of bad days- and bad things that have happened to me- But through this blog, I have chosen not to share most of the raunchy stuff.

I do try to see that proverbial water glass as half full- even though many have tried to dump the damned thing out on me- time and time again. Not possible Folks.

Short of murder and mayhem, there are not too many scenarios that I remain virgin to. (Robbing banks falls under mayhem). hehehe

Some s(h)ituations I have brought upon myself, whether innocently or ignorantly- Some have just been thrust into my lap -and down my throat.

Either way, I have to 'see' my life and all of its experiences- To 'feed' on those experiences for a while; and then choose whether to spit 'em out or to swallow them- If I choose to swallow, I then need to digest it- Then live with. And learn from.

My doctor calls it all PTSD, (post-traumatic-stress-disorder)- but I believe there has to be a real way around all of that too. Not just a label, and a 'deal'- Yes, there are times that I would make a deal with the devil himself just to be rid of this.

I try hard some days not to look in that closet- but lately I have had those skeletons brought there, by your own innocent questions and remarks. (Or at the very least 'how' I perceived those same questions and remarks in your notes and comments).

Am I real? Each and every word that I write is real to me.
I can promise you that every personal blog that I have posted is a bit of insight for you- into my life, my family, my heart, and my soul. And you have been most welcomed!

You have shared so generously of your own time and your own prayers and all else, that there are times that I am amazed and overwhelmed by such selfless acts.

As stated, your comments and your letters mean so much to me! Perhaps you will hang in there today as I unload my more random thoughts on you.

And so, let the ramblings, (and rumblings), begin...


Know that I do not mean to offend anyone; save for those that need offending- a taste of their own medicine so to say.

I have been married twice- The first time to a beater; the second to a cheater. (If I do not abide pretense from anyone, suffice it only to emphasize that these are two of my main reasons why).

I am unmarried, and have been since 1989- This has been my choice (as I have found no one to fill some very tall orders). All that because I do not trust most men to mean what they say, and say what they mean.
 
I am honest to a fault, and I expect no less in anyone else. I do not sugarcoat anything; and through that, I have be labeled as bitchy.
Bitchy or not, there is a waiting, wise, woman of great hope, passion, (and patience). hehehe

Due to the fact that these two marriages failed, I have raised my children completely on my own.
He calls his help 'child support' and I call that a copout. Would that we could raise our children by our checkbooks alone, and divorce them also when the marriage went south?!? I don't think so.

Am I lonely? No! But I would be less than human if I did not get lonely every now and then. Still, I am not to be described as lonely.
I have not ever had a problem with being alone. And yes, these are two vastly different concepts.

Do I miss the conversations between two intelligent adults that have survived almost any/everything together 24/7/365? I never knew that to begin with;
so, "miss" it? No. But I do know that I would miss it if I did once have it.

My doctor has me on paroxetine to treat my anxiety attacks. Coupled with the Xanax I take to be able to get anywhere further than my own mailbox, these drugs have given me a bit of redemption this year.  And yet, I am still afraid of being afraid. (Was it Roosevelt that said 'we have nothing to fear, but fear itself')? He was correct.

There are so many situations and scenarios that have arisen throughout these 48+ years of my existence. I have been a victim of rape. One of my children, at 6 years old, was molested by a babysitter- Another, a victim of date rape and almost bled out and died because of it. One of my children was in a month~long treatment at the Jackie Nitschke Center for AODA.

I have one sister that died from a heroin overdose in 1976- (Having been adopted, I never had the chance to meet her, as my search did not happen until a decade later). I do however feel her loss in my life, as I always "knew" she was there, somehow.

I have 2 sisters that have breast cancer- and have thus far remained in remission (more prayers required for all women and men that live with this awful fear). 
Do not find me at fault for not providing the breast cancer awareness symbols all over my own page here- I assure you they are all quite well branded in my life -and in my heart. I am more than "aware" thank you.

In contrast to what you may hear on the news, very few people know the agony of hurting others- whether it is a child, a parent, or even a pet. You already know that my pets ARE an integral part of my family.
Furthermore, I do not believe that any child should have to grow up without a pet at home- They learn life; they learn death- and they learn to love without limits.

About 5 years ago, I accidentally ran over and killed our precious black lab, Mona-
To this day, (and aside from what Casey has been through), that accident remains one of the very hardest things that I have ever had to face in this lifetime. It can still leave me weak. Impotent. Agonized.

For the most part, we (myself and my children) deal with all of these issues as best we can; and seek help from the professionals when it becomes too great to deal by/with/between ourselves-   Whether those professionals are doctors, or lawyers, or just the very best of our friends!, does not matter- They are all there to help. The more commonly practiced art of 'gunnysacking' these matters only creates a much larger share of problems.

When others have problems -or a potential red flag- I try to always be there for them as well. One person asked if I could keep up because I have so very many friends on here?  I cannot and I do not- But I do TRY to. If anyone writes to me and simply asks, they are always given whatever is within me to offer, whether to impart a bit of solace, comfort, wisdom, or just a shoulder. That is the way I am. Inside and out.

When I awoke this morning after receiving two injections for my migraine yesterday, I had these words to read: "you came across a bit harsh and intollerent of others, god made us all different for a reason. Tollerence is a lesson to be learned." (Spelling errors left intact).
Those words have set- and finalized- this stage for all of my ramblings today.
I was deeply hurt by them- and even now having been given an explanation, it occurs to me that some of you might be feeling this toward myself and my words too. I apologize in advance if I have; and I can only hope that you will comment and let me know. 

I am intolerant of anyone who harms, or stifles, children. I am not against a well deserved spanking.

I am intolerant of stupid. (Very intolerant). Yet the mother in me will try to educate people as best I can also. I am never intolerant of those who show a willingness to learn.

Have we met before? Probably not-
But you still KNOW me...

• I AM those same skeletons in your own closet.
• I AM honest. "Brutally honest" at times, (as Mama proudly used to say). But Mama, "right is right, no matter how you spin it."
• I AM those horrible things that have happened to yourselves and/or to your loved ones.
• I AM those memories you could live well without. (I am NOT afraid to say it either).
• I AM that person that you recognize, because like me, you have also "been there, done that"

Our spirits always seek out- and find- alike souls to move forward with. I do call these souls "friend"-
And that, simply put, is why we are here.

Should any of this bear resemblance to your own heart and spirit, or to your own life, please let me know- Also let me know if I ever offend you, for it is not, nor will it be ever, my intent to do so.

God Bless you all for hanging in there with me today. For allowing me to unload a bit-

XOXO
Anne

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